QT: Against My Will

198 4.22 – Little monster – Dangerous Angels

Ru Quan couldn’t lie to Bing Shi. “I had a very strong one-sided connection with her. I thought she was my soulmate until things got tainted between us with lies and hurt...”

Better to clear things up, he patiently explained his circumstances.

“What?! You killed her?!” Bing Shi opened her eyes wide; she created some distance between them, teasingly, “It answers why I died because of you... two times in a row.” After knowing that killing had no psychological impact on Ziek, she let it go. In war, it was kill or get killed. Her view on things changed. It was not like she was any better, she killed zombies, and ordered soldiers to torture criminals. She had them healed afterward though. Enough excuses. This information truly surprised her. She didn’t deny the fact that she got goosebumps, it was like hearing about a third Zhao Rong.

“I’m sorry, don’t be afraid of me, please,” Ru Quan squeezed Bing Shi dearly to his chest. A huge burden clogged his heart, “I’m sorry, I still helped her. I want her to be happy, not with me, but with someone else. I want to move on, but I don’t know why, when I see her suffering, I’m unable to ignore it.”

His burden slowly transferred to Bing Shi. She felt like a dumpster, where everyone was throwing their problems at her, thinking that she’d solve everything, “...”

‘He’s stuck in a never-ending circle-endlessly blaming one another. More important would be for him to focus on what their relationship was lacking and how it failed to meet his and her needs. It’s not about deciding who was at fault. It was about being realistic about what happened and why.’

‘I never realized how hope is like a double-edged sword. You endure, you keep on going, but in the end, the hope still kills you.’

‘~ Stop talking trash.’

‘Psst. I’m being objective. No judging.’

.....

‘~ He learned from his past mistakes. Give him a chance.’

‘Yeah, of course, his only luck is being Xuan Mu’s soul.’

‘~ You’re judgmental’

‘Whatever. I only like Xuan Mu, change my mind.’

‘~ What about Ziek?’

‘Ziek is Xuan Mu too.’

Patting his back, Bing Shi thought about this unique man, who slipped too way often. One moment, he tried hard to behave like Xuan Mu, the next moment, he acted like a monarch, who owned the world, which lasted for a second before he became a heartbroken guy. She scratched his back full of holes, “From what you told me, it sounds like you feel guilty towards your ex. Because after her death, you didn’t stay loyal to her. Seriously, I can spot an obsessed man from miles away. And you’ve been talking about little monster most of the time with deep enthusiasm.”

“No, I never thought of her as something more than an acquaintance.” He only used little monster as a way to escape from losing a loved one. Somehow, it became a habit to explore her character. That’s until Bing Shi uttered her next words, making him question his feelings.

“Obsession doesn’t equal love. Makes me curious if I had a past lover too.”

“Don’t ever think about it,” Ru Quan stopped her thoughts suddenly, surprising himself. She surely had to have someone. His insecurity emerged, from who knew where.

“Stop it.” Bing Shi grabbed his right wrist, “Why are you suddenly clawing at your chest?” She inspected his spotless torso, which could only mean that only now did he began the strange habit. What was the trigger? Fear sprouted from under her skin as she thought about that horrendous disease, “Your ex really had to be special to be able to cure your insomnia.”

Ru Quan felt her shaking hands, letting her hold onto him, he watched her troubled expression, “It’s not something I can’t live without. I’d rather die under your hands than sleep with her again.”

“Remember your words.” Bing Shi wasn’t going to push him to Fei Lan if he didn’t want to. She’d do the same. It’s just uncomfortable to know that she was not the one, who had such a magical effect on him. Not as special as she thought, “Don’t you find it odd? Shouldn’t your ex be on Earth? What I know, each universe has its designated souls. I don’t remember paying for her ticket.”

Both of them looked at each other with raised eyebrows, their lips curved up deviously.

Nobody expected Ru Quan to recognize Fei Lan’s soul, what more, he told the truth to Bing Shi. There were girls chasing after Ziek in the past, Ru Quan didn’t put a ‘host’ label on them without proof. What he didn’t expect was HQ revealing their intentions by sending his ex. Were they stupid? Just to be sure, he’d need to gain more information.

Bing Shi and Xuan Mu had enough problems dealing with one another. Outsiders trying to cause a dispute in their relationship was like asking for a trashing.

Ru Quan cupped Bing Shi’s head, leaning closer, he tugged at her alluring lips, before seizing them ambitiously, “It’s late...We’ll deal with it tomorrow.”

“Uff...your kisses...huff...” Patting her chest, Bing Shi shook her dizziness away, “Will you repair my pole?”

“I will...” He noticed her flat tone from a while ago. Was she angry at him? “If you perform for me.”

“No, no, no, I’m too shy,” Bing Shi changed her mind immediately, “Good Night ??.”

“Good night...” Ru Quan felt something poking the swelled up thing in between his legs, which reached a painful point from being stimulated too much. His mouth twitched when he heard her muffled giggles. “Bing Shi...” He slapped her hand away, “Behave.”

“No! My poor pole!” she pointed her finger at the middle of the room, “How would you feel if someone did that to yours too? Shall I do it too? Shall I? Shall I?”

Was her anger just his imagination? No. It was just too subtle. Ru Quan grabbed her wrist in embarrassment, “...” He needed to vent out the frustration. And that pole was irritating to his eyes, reminding him how Bing Shi was going to use it before someone else. He could guess it was for her mission, but until he found out what it was, he could do nothing against this. “I’ll repair it tomorrow.”