Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi-Novel

Chapter 214: Kishar-sama is Cunning

Translated by Zzonkedd

Edited by Gumihou

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While Fer, Dora-chan and Sui napped in our Ocean View House’s living room, [1] I found myself at a loss.

For dinner... well, it would hardly take up much time since everyone seems to want meat, meat, meat, after all that seafood.

“Fish is delicious, however, it’s boring to eat it every day. I want meat.”

[4] “Meat~”

“Exactly,” [7] Dora-chan looked excited. “I want that thing with thin meat and salty-sweet sauce on the white thing. Hmm, what was it again... Yakiniku Bowl! Yes, I want that!”

This was supported by Sui and Fer. [5]

As I said, it won’t take up a lot of time since it only involved slicing meat and cooking it in store-bought yakiniku sauce. [1] I’ll have to cook rice, but that’s basically just washing, soaking and steaming.

After that, I’d be free.

However, I’m still left with the niggling feeling that I’d forgotten something...

Wait a minute...

The offerings!

My weekly tribute to the gods and goddesses!

This is bad!

It’s been over a week since the last offering was given at Neihoff! I wonder why they haven’t contacted me yet, but... anyway, since I’m free now let’s just get it over with. [Z1]

With this in mind, I rushed up the stairs to the second floor.

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“Everyone, sorry to keep you waiting. Are you here?”

There was a series of thumping sounds and then suddenly:

“You there! You’ve forgotten us, na!”

“Finally, you’re here~”

“How could you have forgotten?!”

“... forgetting ...bad,”

“You there, how dare you forgot your gods.”

“That’s right, I nearly went into berserker mode, man.”

I... might have heard someone made a dangerous statement, but ‘might have’ also means ‘might have not.’ So let’s just ignore it.

“So, Other Worlder-kun. You have broken our weekly commitment?”

That sounds like Kishar-sama.

She sounds like a sharp one, [1] I have a bad feeling about this...

“Now that you have broken your promise to the Gods and Goddesses of this World, you must compensate us. The weekly tribute shall be 1 gold coin instead of 6 silver coins.”

So it comes.

After Kishar-sama’s little statement, voices of Gods and Goddesses came chiming ‘Yeah, yeah!’ or ‘Great idea, let’s go with that!’ was heard.

To be fair, I am in the wrong here, but still... a sudden increase from 6 silver coins to a whole gold coin is...

“Other Worlder-kun, do you know what it means to break a promise with us?”

Well, when you put it like that...

Never mind, I have the money for it. There’s no need to be stingy-

“By the way, when I say 1 gold coin. I meant 1 gold coin from now on. Our weekly tribute shall be 1 gold coin every week, beginning today.”

Gunununu.

This Kishar is too cunning!

Haaa... I guess I can’t get out of this one since I’m the one in the wrong first. [2] Also, I really don’t think I can out talk Kishar-sama.

“I understand, from today onwards the weekly tribute will be upgraded to 1 gold coin.”

The Gods and Goddesses cheered.

I have never seen any of their faces, but I could imagine her face drooping into a dopey grin [8].

“As expected of Kishar!”

“True, true,”

“...yes,”

“Awesome, my opinion of you have improved, Kishar.”

“I always knew you’re a good talker, but this is beyond my expectations!”

Haaa... well, let’s get this over with.

“Alright, Ninril-sama. What would you like to order with your 1 gold coin?”

“Yes, this great goddess wants the Fujiya Cake as usual. The big round ones.”

Alright, whole cakes it is.

“Ninril, are you sure that’s fine?”

“What about it?”

“You gobbled up such a large cake by yourself, and I’m pretty sure you’ve put on weight recently?”

“Gunu...”

Are Kishar-sama and Ninril-sama arguing with each other? [3] As I thought, that Deplorable-sama really did ate the whole cake by herself and in one sitting too, tsk tsk.

“Excuse me, a whole cake is meant to be sliced into several pieces and shared with others.”

“S-Shut up, shut up! You have no right to comment about this great goddess’ eating habits!”

Oho, snapping back while being in the wrong, eh?

As expected of the Deplorable Goddess. [2] Well, not that I really care as long as she doesn’t blame me when she gets fat. Please take responsibility for your own weight.

I picked out the requested whole cakes. Since the budget is now 1 gold coin, she gets two whole cakes. The cakes were: size S Strawberry Shortcake with real strawberries in cream sandwiched in the middle and a size S Chocolate Sponge. To round off the budget, I added a strawberry tart and an apple pie.

Ninril-sama became delirious with excitement and kept bugging me about sending the cakes over right now.

Fine, fine, whatever, please wait while I take the orders from the rest. Speaking of which, are you seriously going to eat these all by yourself?

“Next is...”

“Yes, yes, I’m next,” [6] Kishar-sama sounded like a mistress doing me a favour. [3] “Beauty products for me, naturally~ I wonder, just what can I get with my 1 gold coin, ne~”

You want to dabble in high-end beauty products?

If you must know, there is no limit to how high the cost of beauty products could become. I remember my sister showing me the picture of a beauty product she wanted from a magazine. [6] I can’t even remember what kind of magic serum the thing was supposed to be but it cost a whopping 108,000 yen (tax included)

At first, I thought it was some sort of a gag magazine.

It was really 100,000 yen. 100,000!

Would anyone really buy this? Just then, my sister’s lustful face crossed my mind and I cringed. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know. A woman’s obsession with cosmetics is not something I want to delve into.

Whatever, I just need to fulfil Kishar-sama’s orders. [5] I easily switched over to the [Health & Beauty] section of the [Net Super] and scrolled down the list of famous domestic company’s cosmetic series.

One of the product immediately caught my eye.

“Kishar-sama, how about this one? Exactly 1 gold coin for a Face Lotion & Cream set. It helps to promote firmness of the skin which leads to a more youthful look.”

A rattling noise sounded in my ear.

“Y-youthful skin?! That one! I want that one!” [Z2]

Er, is Kishar really at the age to worry over her skin?

“Ufufum~ it’s not polite to ask a woman about her age.”

Brrr, I suddenly have chills running up my back.

“Oh, that’s right. What about the 1 silver coin carried over from last time?”

“Since you’ve upgraded us to 1 gold coin, don’t worry about it. Just make sure to choose some good products for me next time.” [5]

... don’t worry about the 1 silver coin? After you’ve made me give everyone a 1 gold coin upgrade? How magnanimous. Still feeling complicated, I chose the Face Lotion & Cream Set for Kishar-sama.

“Err, next is Agni-sama?”

“Ou! It’s my turn. Beer for me, of course. If you have anything that goes well with beer, I want that too.”

Beer and snacks, I see...

Hmm, for a budget of 1 gold coin I could get a whole case of beer.

Hmm, hmm, hmm, oh! Company A sells its beer in cases. Alright, let’s get one since Agni-sama likes their product. [2] After that, let’s get a 6-pack of Company K’s Premium beer and Company Y-bis beer. Might throw in a 6-pack of Company S beer as well.

Now, when it comes to snacks that go well with beer, it had to be fried food. I’ll just put some of my fried food for her to make up for the rest of the budget.

“Next is...”

“It is I, Ruka. I am of two minds. Nevertheless, I believe I shall have the same as Ninril-sama.”

...Is that alright? Please understand that I am not responsible for your figure later.

“It is fine. I am still growing and will not become a fatty.”

“Th- this goddess is not a fatty!”

Ninril-sama, your stuttering voice betrays you.

Anyway, I got Ruka-sama’s cake set. It’s just a matter of doubling up whatever Ninril-sama is getting.

Next, of course, are the-

“Us!”

“Oooh! I’ve been waiting for this!”

Two voices chorus together, “1 gold coin each? Gufufufufu!”

Please stop with the creepy ‘gufufufu’ laugh.

“First, let’s have the Best Whiskey in the World. Can’t miss out on that, of course.”

“Of course.”

“Then, let’s have something that we haven’t had yet...”

“Ahem, how about getting something expensive and out of your previous budget?”

“Oh, good idea! What do you think, God of Blacksmith’s?”

“Umu, not a bad idea.”

“Well then, what do the esteemed Gods think of this?” [3] The whiskey that I showed them was a famous American brand with a black label. [1] The description on the side said that it is a ‘premium whiskey’ which could only mean good things, right? [5]

“Or this?” the next whiskey on the line was a Scottish whiskey that came in a green bottle.

The gods made agreeable sounds to both whiskies.

To round it off, I showed them a Japanese manufactured single malt whiskey, “How about this one?”

“Yeah, yeah, that one too!”

“Agreed.”

After checking in this last item, I paid and checked them out of the [Net Super]. It did not take long for me to arrange everything on the cardboard box alters.

Finally, I put my hands together and prayed, “Everyone, please accept my offering.”

The goods disappeared in a flash of light and the cheerful voices of the gods and goddesses rang in my ear.

Ah, it’s finally over.

Gods and goddesses are such tiresome beings...

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Dinner was the requested Yakiniku Bowl.

To make it, just grill some sliced Wyvern meat with a long-time, best-seller yakiniku sauce bought via [Net Super].

Everyone was very happy with tonight’s simple, yet delicious dinner.

However, we’ll be having seafood again tomorrow!

Now that I have the ingredients. Let’s have our long-awaited Seafood Barbecue!

[Zzonkedd 1: These greedy gods literally can’t wait until he gets his Tennant levelled up lol] [Zzonkedd 2: The despair is big here XD] [Gumihou: I have a feeling this pantheon of gods and goddesses will be even more annoying in the future...]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Dopey Grin – I imagine it’s something like the one people make after eating Century Soup from Toriko