Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

As rumoured, Ronkainen Merchant Guild was extremely crowded. It was also [1] exceptionally well organized. Looks like they were so often inundated by crowds to the point that tents have been set up to deal with different small businesses, but there was still a long line getting into the main building.

Thankfully, with Guild Master Orson with us, we were allowed to enter the main building with minimal fuss.

Well, relatively minimal at least.

Fer, Grandpa Gon, Sui and Dora-chan together made quite the sight and some people even ran away screaming…

Anyway, to make a long story short, we successfully rented a house to stay in for a week. Since it was a house built by some wealthy merchant with too much money, it was a huge 17LDK mansion.

More importantly, it was close to the Adventurer’s Guild.

The downside of this place was the rather small garden.

Hahhh… well, it can’t be helped since this was one of the places with the largest gardens close to the Adventurer’s Guild. ‘Small’ being relative, since it was as large as a soccer field. It just looks small with both Fer and Grandpa Gon in it.

Yes, I rented the place according to the garden space and proximity to the Guild like a filthy rich person. Hue hue hue. This place cost 117 gold per week to rent.

[2]

When Guild Master heard this, he smiled and said, “Surely that’s a little much? Mukouda-sama is a valuable visitor here, is Ronkainen going to mistreat such a valuable customer?”

Ah, Orson-san, your smile is…

“A-ahem, in that case, 115 gold-”

“100 gold!”

“Ugh… no way, 113 gold!”

“Kuuh… 108 gold!”

“How… 110 gold!”

“Deal!”

“Eh?” I didn’t realise that… rent could be bargained??!!

“Hohoho, what do you think, Mukouda-sama? I managed to reduce the rent for you. Ah, speaking of which, the Adventurer’s Guild will be covering your stay, so don’t worry about it!”

[2]

“… I- I see,” is that why you bargained so hard just now?!!

“Um, thank you for covering my stay, ah. I actually have something I’d like to purchase here. Is there a shop that sells magic stoves around? A large four-burner stove with a roasting oven…”

By the time I received information about the relevant shops as well as the key to the mansion, evening had fallen, and it was nearly time for dinner.

Early the next morning, I put together another rice bowl dish, this time with Ginger Pork Stir-fry. After that heavy meaty breakfast, my familiars cool down with some fizzy cider. I swear, I could never get used to seeing people having carbonated drinks for breakfast.

Well, I guess they aren’t ‘people’ exactly…

“Umu, now that my belly is full…”

“Indeed, Master’s food never fails to deliver…”

“”Woah, I’m all energetic now!!””

“”Sui is all bouncy, bouncy~~!!””

“LET’S GET THAT CRAB!!”

“Hey, aren’t you guys being too energetic? We just arrived in town yesterday…”

“No rest is needed, rather, I wish to take down that Berserker Mud Crab.”

“Umu, hearing you say that, it must be delicious. I wish to try it too,” Fer was already drooling.

“”Same here!””

“”Sui wants to eat it~””

I guess… since it’s a food-related thing… I can’t stop my familiars no matter what…

“… haaaahh… I thought I could take it easy for at least one day in this merchant city…” There’s no choice. I’m hopelessly outnumbered, let’s just go with the flow for now.

“Oi, hurry up!”

“Yes, yes, but we must stop by the Adventurer’s Guild first.”

“What, what?”

“Because we need information. We don’t even know where the Berserker Mud Crab is, right?”

“Umu, I can track it down easy,” said Fer.

“I, as well,”

“”Ehh, can’t we just go?!””

“”Sui wants to pew pew new monster~””

“Ugh, seriously? Fine, let’s go then.”

Thus, we quickly made our way to the Eremae River to track down the Berserker Mud Crab.

““There, down there,””

It was almost impossible to hear each other talk while travelling via GG Airways. Thankfully, we have telepathy to get around the issue of communication.

When they say Eremae River [1], I had envisioned a large winding river snaking through a forest. However, what spread out before us was something like a gigantic lake or even the sea. There were times I could not even see the opposite shore at all.

It was truly a sight to behold.

““Oi, did you see it?”” came Fer’s voice a little more impatiently this time.

This time, I looked in the direction Fer pointed with his nose and had to blink a few times to clear my vision.

What the heck?

WHAT the HECK!!!!!!

Is- is it just perspective?!

Is the water too clean and clear, thus magnifying the size of sea creatures like a magnifying lens?!

No, the crab was perched on a river delta and was clicking its two pinchers threateningly at us. The biggest problem was…

“ISN’T IT TOO BIGGG!!!”

I screamed.

The ‘crab’ looked like it weighs about 4 tons. 4000kg!!

It’s huge!!

“Hmm, it’s larger than the last one I devoured, how fortuitous.”

“Fufu, we can eat our fill a few times with this fellow.”

“”Looks hard, how do we eat it??””

“”Sui pew pew?””

“The shells are a little hard, but it has its own charm,”

I looked incredulously at Grandpa Gon, “You… ate the shell too?”

Wait? I think there are some recipes that use the shells? But aren’t those soft-shelled crabs or something? Ah, didn’t the French make soup from crustacean shells?

Wait, considering its size, could I just pan-fry its meat and serve it with butter?

Slurrp…

Eh?

“”Sui will pew pew you~!!””

“Wait!! No Acid Attacks, we want to eat that!” Fer called out frantically. “Use Water Magic only!!”

I swear, that was the only time I ever heard Fer sound frantic.

“”Ou!! Wait for me!!!”” Dora-chan zoomed down as well.

[3]

“Umu, should I go as well?”

“Let us go as well,”

“Wait!! Put me down somewhere else first!” I cried. “At least at the far side of the sand island or something!”

“Tsk, cowardly Master,”

“So, what if I’m cowardly? You can eat your precious Mud Crab raw if anything happens to this cowardly master!”

“U-umu,”

“I shall put you down on the far side of the island,” said Grandpa Gon.

“Fumu, there’s no need, the Mud Crab is down.”

“Eh?”

I looked over and, indeed, the 4-ton humungous crab was on its back, legs clicking together slightly as Sui bounced on top of it.

“”Wai~ wai~~””

“Tch, I didn’t even get a shot in,”” Dora-chan grumbled.

We all landed on the sandbar. Up close, the Berserker Mud Crab looked even more enormous.

Fer had also leapt onto the Crab, inspecting something.

“Fumu, you punched a small hole through its abdomen. Excellent, swift and accurate. Good work, Sui.”

“”Yay~~ Uncle Fer praised me~~”” Sui bounced up and down on her prize.

“Excellent attack, Sui,”

“”Ehehe~ Grandpa Gon praised Sui too~~””

“”Kuuhh, I’ll take down the next prey!!””

“”No~! Sui will~!!””

“”No, I will!!””

“Now, now, stop fighting,” I said absently as I circled around the humungous crab. I knock on its shell. [1] Woah, it feels like something harder than rock, but light too. Kind of like an insect carapace but more solid somehow.

As you may have guessed, I am currently doing my best not to think about my sweet Sui turning into a combat maniac. It’s not really working.

Boohoo…

[Gumihou: Made some adjustments to give the story a bit more texture.]

Also, 4-ton crab had to be humungous!!!

The biggest ever mud crab caught is 3.5kg!!!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scylla_serrata

[1] Added some details to make it a bit more scenic

[2] Make the bargaining scene an actual bargaining scene complete with dialogues instead of just ‘oh, it was 117, then Orson said he’ll pay. He bargained down to 110’

[3] Deleted Mukouda ‘pushing for Fer & Grandpa Gon to help Sui’ because… it’s kind of redundant.