Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 380: Nothing Happened. Yeah, That’s Right.

Translated by Zzonkedd

Edited by Gumihou

“Oi, isn’t today’s breakfast too shoddy?”

“”Is this it?””

“”Sad...””

[5] I blinked, today’s breakfast was premade Soboro Bowl with plenty of minced meat on top.

However, I had forgotten to include some extra toppings, so everyone looked like they were eating brown kibbles or something. It certainly did not look appetising.

Even after realising this, it took me a moment to respond. Reading Kazuki’s diary was really tiring in all sense of the word.

“Ah, no, that is, I was wondering what to put on top and decided to just let you choose. So, onsen egg, raw egg yolk or sesame seeds, which do you like?”

A reasonable sounding excuse crawled out of my mouth somehow. [5]

“Really?” [3] Fer looked at me with suspicious eyes.

“I-it’s true. Well, rather than that, what do you guys want?”

“Humph, very well, I want the usual soft eggs with firm cooked yolks,”

“Oh, Hot Spring Eggs are pretty mysterious that way, right? Good choice. What about Dora-chan and Sui?”

“”I’ll have the same thing as Fer,”” said Dora-chan.

“”Sui too~~ and the nice smelling grains too~~””

Right, Hot Spring Eggs for everyone and some toasted sesame seeds for Sui.

I bought the eggs off [Net Super], it’s too late to make my own now, and scattered some sesame seeds over Sui’s portion.

Finally, while everyone was busy eating, I warmed a [9] retort pouch of Chinese food as I stared into space again. After staying up all night and getting metaphorically sucker-punched in the guts multiple times, I needed something light.

Haahhh... I’m a bit lost over what to do with the information I had just received.

What kind of torture is this? Having to shout the names of someone else’s wives just to get around.

What is this stupid system?

Stupid Kazuki.

Moreover, that Kazuki punk also wrote:

If you’re a worthy person deserving of this item, you can probably use it.

‘Probably’?

If I read this right, the Teleportation Tool would take the user to Demon Lands, Isle of Giants or deeply hidden ‘magical wood’. In fact, it would probably land me somewhere filled with monsters, like a dungeon or a forest filled with high-ranking monsters.

Technically, if I were to say [Teleport] in Japanese it would take me to the last location that this Teleportation Tool had been. Still, who knows what kind of place that would be?

[6] While the incantation is somewhat acceptable, the fact that I have no control over where I would be landing is definitely not a plus point.

Also, why would I want to go to another continent, anyway? Especially since I haven’t even visited a third of the countries here.

I would much prefer to visit the Kingdom of Elman or its neighbour, the Kingdom of Leonhart.

There was absolutely no reason to travel to another continent.

That’s right, it’s only natural.

Yes.

Ahahaha.

Moreover, that tablet was in terrible shape. After all, it was dumped under a pile of stuff. It was one of the things the Bandit King has in his treasure hall. He probably got it because it was an important-looking magical tool, but never knew what it was for.

Anyway, since it had been so badly treated, it is probably close to useless or problematic now. If that’s the case, I should just put it somewhere out of sight and let it slowly trickle out of my mind.

If Fer or any of the others knew about it, Fer especially, he’d probably say something like ‘Let’s go to the Demon Lands and fight them!’.

There, I’ve decided.

We never found any weird thing like a Teleportation Tool.

No diaries filled [6] with a Japanese man’s boast about marrying three wives.

Nope.

[6] Never.

“Oi, what are you doing there talking to yourself?”

“Eh? Wh-what? I wasn’t doing anything of the sort.”

“You’ve been standing there spacing out. I’ve been calling you for a while now.”

[6] “Oh, er, let me guess. You want your seconds?”

““Yup! Seconds!””

“”Sui wants seconds too~~””

[5] “Right, right, coming up!”

While I was busy filling up their bowls with rice and minced meat, as well as various toppings, Fer unexpectedly asked, “Oi, are you sure you’re alright? You were up really late last night.”

“Oh, fine, fine, I just couldn’t sleep for some reason.”

The reason being that playboy Kazuki’s stupid [6] adventure stories with his stupid wives and their heaving bosoms.

Whatever, let’s forget about it. [5]

“I’ll rest properly once we get back to Carelina, so I’ll be depending on you, alright?”

Let’s go home and sleep on a nice fluffy bed.

Please read this at dot com~

“Oh, I can see it!”

Finally, the nostalgic line of Carelina came to view.

The rest of our journey after the Bandit King Mountain, courtesy of Demiurgos-sama’s oracle, was thankfully devoid of drama.

Thanks to Fer, we arrived faster than anticipated.

At the gate, I showed the guards my S Rank card and we passed through into the city properly. [1] Looks like the guards were used to seeing Fer and Dora-chan by now, there was no big fuss or anything.

After entering the city, Fer bounded towards our mansion.

[9] A real mansion ‘mansion’. Not a luxury apartment ‘mansion’ like the ones in Japan. Hah, back in my previous life, I could not even afford the rent for one of those, but now I own a real, European style holiday getaway mansion filled with nice things and servants to take care of it.

At the entrance, Bartel and Peter waved at us.

“He~ey!”

“Hello, Bartel, good to see you again. Did anything happen while I was away?”

“Welcome back. Nah, it was totally peaceful. Teaching was hard though, but it’s fine overall.”

“Ah, that sounds wonderful.”

Looks like everyone kept busy and improved themselves while I was away. That’s great.

“Costi and Tabasa are very enthusiastic about learning, but... those stupid twins...”

[8] “Oh? Tabasa too? I thought she already knew how to read,” I said.

[8] “Oh, she can up to a point, but she wants to improve and learn more words,” said Bartel cheerfully. Then, he sighed the sigh of a disappointed teacher, “Unlike those twins...”

“Haha, from their brash and lively behaviour, [8] I’d be more surprised if they turned out to be good at studying.”

“Gahaha! True! Peter here though, is a real hard worker.”

[8] “Math is hard,” said Peter shyly. “But learning words is not too bad. Writing is very hard, I have to practice a lot.” [5]

“I see, good job! Anyway, I’ve brought souvenirs for everybody. Let’s have a banquet tonight. You two come with us.”

“Eh? What about the gate?” asked Bartel.

“Haha, Fer’s here, if they are stupid enough to dare come in, well, it would be the last thing they do.”

Bartel and Peter looked at Fer, before nodding enthusiastically.

[8] “Yup,”

[8] “I wonder if anyone would be that stupid...”

“Anyway, let’s go. I’ve collected all kinds of meat from the Meat Dungeon and bought loads of stuff from the food stalls there too.”

“Mu, skewered meat is delicious.”

[6] Fer, you’re drooling.

“”Yaho! Hurrah for [Item Boxes]!!”” Dora-chan zoomed above us, doing loops.

“”Sui wants skewered meat too~~””

“Right, tonight’s dinner theme would be ‘food from stalls’,” I said as I walked down the cobblestone path to my house. [10] Ahem, my incredibly large house in a land so vast that there’s an actual path from the gate to a free-standing mansion house.

“Big Brother Mukouda! Welcome home!” [3] Lotte-chan cried as she ran up to me. [5]

“Mukouda-sama is back!” [6] cried the gardeners.

“I’m gonna tell mom!” Lotte-chan cried, running off again.

“Tell everyone we’ll be having a banquet tonight,” I called after her. “Lots of meat souvenirs!”

“Yay!! Meat! Meat! Meat!”

Yep, I’m finally home.

[Gumihou: Adjusted the ending so that it’s a series of ‘welcome back’ and less of ‘tell everyone I brought meat’. Also, what’s the deal with Lotte running back to the house to call people? Where are the gardeners?]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken – Dialogues re education in the mansion. Why is ‘Tabasa’ learning when she was set as a ‘teacher’? Anyway, gave some plausible reason.

[9] Retort Pouch food – Kind of like army package food where you could warm in hot water and squeeze out over rice.