This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!

"So, what were the criteria?"

Those words spilled out as I kept peeking into the cup placed in front of me.

A chair made of bones was rather uncomfortable, but a skull in the name of a teacup turned that up to a ten.

In the dark room with the tint of the red sky flowing in, I sat in front of a half-naked man and a bear.

The man was sitting on the bear. Or maybe the man's legs were connected to the bear? I couldn't tell. Well, he wasn't a man for sure since there were the horns of a ram sticking out of his head.

"Criteria?"

The bear-ram-man spoke. His murky voice scratched my ears.

"Yes, like. Why did you pick me, what did you say your name was?"

"Balam."

"Right."

I turned my gaze away and looked at the skull again.

Turns out. I was in hell.

I didn't know how this happened either. I had just moved the lady to the bed and was holding her hands while she slept when my sight suddenly went dark. I feared I might have fallen asleep and immediately moved to stab myself in the thighs. Before I could, the world gained color again and this bear-riding bastard appeared in front of me. He tossed me to his goons in front of a giant castle made of stones and walked away saying 'give the human a good room,'

I first thought this was the consequence of not sleeping, but after being dragged around by octopi and bats before being dragged into the room in this weirdo's castle, I had to admit I was in hell. The bed with flesh curtains and the strange red sky that never changed helped too.

My chains were confiscated and chains of a strange material were tied around my legs.

Mana and Ki were both blocked by those chains. It was not a complete blockage with just those chains, but it was enough to cut my firepower in less than half, I couldn't even use spatial magic and retrieve something to help me out.

"It was subjective," Balam said.

"Like, still. What did you pick me for?"

"I was offered..." the demon came closer to my face and started speaking. Even in this wide room of the demon king's castle, he found a strange need to keep close and speak in whispers. "Anyone from the kingdom, and plucked the best..."

The dry winds of the red sky carried along the bastard's disgusting breath to my nose. The godforsaken stench drove away my drowsiness, no, it made me want to shove my head inside a horn and have an elephant blow on it.

"Your anguish, your soul, your hate... the way you suppress yourself. It is an evil greater than most demons. Only one girl stood a chance against you, but even that one fell short. And not to mention..."

The hairy bastard reached out with his hands.

"Your blood..."

I reeled back. The bone chair slightly creaked as it slipped on the slimy ground.

I hastily picked up the skull and pointed at it.

"This! What is this?"

A blood-red liquid with a slightly thick consistency filled it. It was like blood, but I could smell blood any day. This was almost fragrant, like dandelions. Hibiscus? Fuck, the lack of sleep was real.

"You're quite curious, my darling."

EW.

"Huhu, I'll speak, though. It's tea."

"No, you motherfucker, I am talking about this." I pointed at the floating eyeball in the middle of the liquid. The eyeball spasmed each time the nerves stretching out from its back touched the rim of the skull.

"Oh, feisty."

Goosebumps crept up my back as he spoke.

"It's a gargoyle's eye. It gives it a richer taste."

I looked at the skull again. It was disgusting, sure. But I was also slightly curious about tea from hell. In the end, curiosity won over my logic and I took a sip.

A frown left me as the strange liquid coursed down my throat.

Three on ten, wouldn't try again.

"Have you guys thought of, maybe, cooking stuff? What the fuck is this?"

"Huhuhu!" the demon scoffed. "You'll have to learn its taste."

I frowned again.

I didn't have a lot of time to play around in hell since I had to get back to my lady, but this guy didn't seem like he wanted to let me go.

I couldn't even break free yet.

He was strong. I could maybe catch him off guard, but it would be tough otherwise. At least with the strength I could summon right now, I would probably die in a fight.

I had learned this lesson over and over in the last two years.

There was no use in dying in a fight. The strongest wouldn't die, the strongest would live and come back even stronger.

I had to swallow my pride and understand what he wanted here.

"What do you want from me?" I asked. No need to delay it now, was there?

"I expected a human to be more surprised."

I expected that too.

"Initially... I wanted to eat the best human and take its lifespan away."

The disgusting fucker leaned closer again. I moved back, but the chair stopped moving.

"But now,"

Chills ran down my spine.

"You should birth my child."

Oh

My fucking god.

"I'm a guy, you fuck!!" I stood up and screamed.

"I can change that!" The demon screamed back. "Worry not, you beautiful human, as long as you wish it, I shall turn you into a queen!"

Did I say I should lay low and see what he will do?

Fuck that.

In a go, I jumped ahead.

Alert, the bear screamed and tried to swing its claws at me, but I swiftly avoided them and smashed my foot in its face.

The demon screamed as the bear was hurt. He didn't expect me to move at all.

Summoning all the mana and Ki I could into my feet, I pushed down on the bear's face more and swung my other leg at the demon.

Then the world darkened again, and I was sitting back on the chair.

What?

"What the hell—"

"HUMAN!!"

As if nothing had happened, I was forced back to my seat. No, it felt as if I hadn't moved at all.

I turned my gaze to see the bear glaring at me, not a scratch on its face. My gaze shifted above and I saw the demon. Its body was covered with black, murky blood.

"H-how dare you touch my mound!?" the demon screamed.

I blinked again, and the ground was swept away from my feet. A rusty taste spread in my mouth as I flew through the room. The stone walls completely broke apart as I kept flying back. Another, and then another, I crushed through three walls and fell limp on the ground.

Was I punched?

When?

Before I could finish thinking, the demon appeared in front of me again.

"How could you use Mana!?"

My body arched ahead from the blunt force as his kick landed in my stomach.

Again, and then again.

Over and over, the demon kept kicking me until blood poured out from every orifice in my mouth.

I couldn't even react. I couldn't even see those attacks. Each of them that came raining down with the force of a truck completely crushed my internal organs.

My head was blanking out and I wanted to faint, but I couldn't.

The rain of blows continued for what felt like hours.

Finally, the demon turned away. A few of his goons came rushing over, but my sight was too hazy to see them.

"Lock it up," the demon said. "And use the chains on every limb, it can still use its powers."

Ah... so this was a 'Demon king,' huh?

It had been a while, since I wanted to crush something.

Biting my lips, I kept myself from fainting as gears started turn in my head.

Then, I stood up.

"W-what...? what!"

The goons that were coming my way fumbled as they saw me stand after receiving enough hits to pulverize a castle.

I pushed my bloodied hand over my hair, turning it red as I pulled my hair back.

"Hah, I needed that. My head feels much clearer."

The goons kept quaking, but their demon king had long gone away.

Gears turned in my head as dozens of plans unfolded, slowly, steadily, I reached the most optimal route.

I quietly stretched my hand out and let them take me away.

Too bad, demon king.

This enemy you made, turned out to be a demon lord.