The Abandoned Empress

When I looked up with my trembling eyes, he said, pulling me hard with a smile, “Much closer now.”

“Your Majesty.”

“Let’s hurry up. Otherwise, we won’t finish taking a walk today.”

“Well…”

“How about walking to the Ver Palace? You wondered about the silver flowers there last time, right? ”

“… Yes, Your Majesty. ”

Surrounded by cool, damp air, I didn’t feel cold. I felt rather hot because of the warmth from his body that was close to me and his arms wrapped around my shoulder.

When I turned my head hesitantly, I saw my silver hair hanging over his arms wrapped around my shoulder. That put me in mind of what happened that night when he cautiously swept my hair and kissed me passionately.

‘Come to your senses, Aristia! I told you to forget it! ‘

As I shook his head vigorously, he asked me curiously, “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

“Are you sure? Hmm.”

I breathed a sigh of relief because he didn’t ask me any more. I now saw a glimpse of the silver flower tree at a distance. The closer I went to it , the more my heart pounded. This time I was very curious to see if the flowers bloomed.

How long did I walk? Suddenly, he approached the tree and stopped there. I also stopped and raised my head.

As he was holding the umbrella from behind, I had no problem looking up. While glancing at the buds slowly, I screamed exclamations unconsciously. The silver buds on the tree were all about blooming half apart.

My heart was full. Are they finally showing flowers to me? Are they really getting ready to bloom fully after overcoming the intense flames, the hot summer sun, and even the harsh weather?

‘Are you going to show me flowers this winter?’

I really hope so. When I look at you in full bloom, I feel like I can get out of my harrowing past fully.

When I was looking up at the silver buds, murmuring to myself, I heard him saying with a subdued voice, “That flower…”

“Pardon? Your Majesty?”

“That flower resembles you.”

“Pardon? What do you mean…”

When I looked back at his unexpected remarks, he said, gazing at me after he withdrew his arms around my shoulder, “I didn’t know it at first, but the more I look at it, the more I think it looks like you. Like you, it’s in a precarious condition, but it has prevailed at the end of the day. Like you, it is stubbornly refusing to show something. ”

“… ”

“I wonder if you can open your heart to me when those buds fully bloom.”

My heart ached at that. When I looked at his trembling eyes, he also looked down at me silently.

The sound of raindrops falling on the ground, a world that turned gray in the rain and the serene silence between the two of us.

His navy deep blue eyes were looking at me silently under the white shade of the umbrella.

“Lady Monique?”

“… Oh, I’m sorry, Grace. What did you say? ”

When I hurriedly apologized, Grace looked aside, smiling awkwardly. Next to her was Jiun, who was staring at me as if she was dumbfounded.

“How can you be absent-minded at this important time. I really can’t understand you.”

“…Sorry, Lady Jena.”

Anyway, it was true that I made a mistake, so I apologized readily instead of getting choked up. Then I tried to refrain from turning my eyes to the window and picked up the paper in front of me.

I sighed, looking at the paper written in full. What mattered was the contents.

I had already been arguing with Jiun for several hours.

“… I told you already I can’t accept this.”

“Why? I think it’s a reasonable offer.”

I replied with a sigh, pressing my stinging temple. My head was throbbing because Jiun differed with me about every item on the paper.

“Lady Jena, you are now overstepping your authority. That’s why I’m telling you you shouldn’t do it.”

“Why? As you are given the full authority to host the festival, don’t you have to decide on the matter of the escort and security of the VIPs?”

“Even if I have the authority, it has been delegated by the palace affairs office. So, the escort and security business is to be taken care of by the knights divisions. It’s not a matter for me to meddle in.”

When I made my position clear very firmly, Jiun was silent for a moment. I narrowed my eyes because she was still grumbling. Had she overstepped the authority of the knights division in the past in the name of her candidacy for the empress?

“…Good. Let’s forget about it. Then, what about the servants? I want them to work in four shifts because they must be pretty tired from lots of work during the festival. Why are you opposed to my idea?”

“Well, if they work a four shift, it will only add confusion to their work. Above all, it will take time for them to get on top of their assignments. Do you want to show the foreign dignitaries how messed up they are? For efficient work, I prefer them working in two shifts.”

“If you move in shifts, you are very likely to be too cluttered. The job grasp will also be delayed.”

“Are you ignoring the competence of the men with the palace affairs office? If they work on two shifts, they will have to overwork themselves.”

I was really frustrated because of her trying to pick a quarrel with me in every way.

What she said made sense, but the problem was that she would not listen to me at all.

Was it because she was overwhelmed by the war of nerves between me and Jiun?

Watching me nervously as if she was sick and tired of our argument, Grace said cautiously, “Well, how about taking a break before resuming? I don’t think we can finish the job, as things stand now.”

“Oh my… how can we have a break again when we already did a little while ago?” Jiun balked.

But I accepted Grace’s opinion. “Good. Let’s take a break.”

When I tried to cut her off firmly, Jiun stared at me, raising her eyes fiercely. I looked out the window again, avoiding her gaze.

The sound of rain falling down in silence was heard, along with that of somebody splashing water while walking in the rain and laughing cheerfully.

Suddenly, his voice calling me faintly seemed to hover in my ears, who said he loved me deeply, asking me to open my closed mind to him.

But I didn’t reply to him yesterday. Even though I tried so hard to empty my heart, I couldn’t reply. Even though I vowed that I would only shed tears of happiness only one day, I couldn’t reply, either. It was only an excuse that I could not refuse him coldly in such a situation. It was also a poor excuse that I could not utter anything because I was too choked up.

The moment I heard his serious confession to me in the rain, I had to admit that my closed mind was already open to him, and my frozen heart began to melt little by little..

Again… I came to love him.

When did I begin to change my mind? At first, I was so scared of him. I was always anxious and vigilant against him at the thought that he could change anytime and take away my second life, although I began to realize little by little that he was different from the old him. I vowed again and again that I would never love him even at the moment I breathed my last breath.

Then, why did I open my heart to him again, when I was clearly aware that he and I could not make a couple, and would only end up hurting each other?

Only

Despite all my strong vows, I was opening my heart to him.

Although I felt heartbroken so much, it was time for me to return to the bitter reality.

Looking at Jiun and Grace, I said calmly, trying to swallow my sorrow, “Shall we start again?”

“Lady Jena, you don’t want to change your idea on these items, do you?”

“No.”

“Whew! Okay, let’s do this. Since the prime minister is absent, I must attend a political meeting to get our budget approved. Let me table all the major agendas including the ad hoc work shifts of servants at that meeting. For a fair judgment, let me keep our opinion secret. I’ll ask the participants which idea they like better, Lady Jena’s and mine. How about that?”

“Good. I’ve no objection.”

Jiun, who looked sullen all along, answered with a satisfied smile. Watching her feeling triumphant, I broke into a bitter smile. I felt uncomfortable about bringing their attention to our festival agenda, but given her attitude, I had no other choice.