"Yeah, little Mario's here, so I'll stay. That way, both kids can see their parents whenever they want." "You're always thinking about the kids," Stella said with a sigh. "I don't know if it's because Aster's still so little, but honestly, I don't really feel much sense of responsibility toward him... Lately, I've even had this crazy urge to just stop breastfeeding altogether. Bryn, I really don't want to be a stay-at-hmom." "Breastfeeding is always tough on mothers," Briony said gently.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇt"It's not even about whether it's tough or not." Stella shook her head. "Aside from feeding Aster and occasionally cuddling or playing with him, everything else gets handled by the nanny or Cedric Clarke. Since Aster was born, I haven't even changed a single diaper myself. If you askedto do it now, I probably wouldn't even know where to start." "Dr. Clarke is a pretty great dad," Briony said, tapping Stella on the forehead. "So don't be so hard on him all the time. I can tell you care about him. Just because he adores you doesn't mean you can always take it out on him." "He deserves it!" Stella retorted, stubborn as ever. "Even if I do like him, it's just dating. Who said anything about marrying him? He totally took advantage of my amnesia and teamed up with my mother to selloff!" "How did this suddenly becMrs. Joyner's fault?" "Why wouldn't it be?" Stella shot back, her irritation plainly rising. "You have no idea-ever since I got married and pregnant, my mom's had her nose in everything. During the worst of my morning sickness, nothing tasted right except for street food, but she wouldn't lethave any. Cedric Clarke didn't stop her, either-sometimes he'd sneakout for a treat when she wasn't looking, but she'd always find out. Then she'd lectureabout being irresponsible, about how a mother should know better and avoid junk food for the baby's sake. And if I ever talked back, she'd start in on how hard her pregnancy was with me, how much she suffered..." Stella let out a heavy sigh. "I'd better stop. If I keep going, I'll work myself up and lose my milk supply again." "Mrs. Joyner just cares too much," Briony said softly. "You're her only daughter, and after what happened before, I think she's genuinely I scared. So she's a little overbearing now, but it comes from worry." "I just don't get it!" Stella rolled onto her side, propping her head up with her arm as she looked at Briony. "Bryn, when I'm with Aster, I still feel like a kid myself. Why should I have to sacrifice everything for him? But then, when my mom lectures me, I remember I'm a mother now, and she still treatslike a child-doesn't giveany space at all. It's exhausting! Do you think I'm just being selfish?" Briony understood exactly how Stella felt.
Going from a staunchly single woman to a married mother in such a short twas a massive leap.
Of course Stella was anxious and moody, even questioning her feelings for Cedric Clarke and Aster.
Briony remembered something her therapist once said. After a moment's thought, she replied, "A lot of is of what you're feeling is hormonal. But I think a big part of it is just that you're cooped up at hall day, with such a small circle. It's easy to get stuck stressing over little things. Maybe, once Aster turns four months and you've recovered, you could think about going back to work."
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm"You're reading my mind!" Stella paused, then added, "But I don't want e.
to go back to the hospital."
Briony was surprised. "You worked so hard for so many years to beca years doctor, finally made it to attending. You're really willing to let that go?"
Stella snorted. "I did work hard, sure.
But that doesn't mean loved it. I've always liked photography, but my