Li Caiyi stood up in front of her apartment door, feeling nervous. She had to apologize to him. After making a promise not to hide each other's pain, she was the one who broke it first.
She was unsure how to explain everything, so she paced around in front of the door for a while.
Then, her door suddenly opened, revealing Dai Zhiqiang, who didn't seem surprised to see her standing awkwardly there.
"Zhi, I'm here." Li Caiyi said stiffly. It was hard to gauge his emotion from his stoic expression.
"First, you should come in. Don't loiter in front of the door."
Ack. He definitely saw her walking back and forth.
Li Caiyi grimaced. "You're right. Did I make you wait for long? How about your work? Is it okay if you come late?"
She didn't know what she had said wrong, but his mood clearly became worse after she asked that.
Dai Zhiqiang averted his eyes before gesturing to her to come in. Li Caiyi sighed inwardly. She kept making a mistake and didn't like where this was going.
He shut the door behind him, then sat beside Li Caiyi on the edge of the bed. No one spoke a word for a while. The pin drop silence felt awkward.
"Has everything been settled yet?"
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtThose were his first questions. Li Caiyi straightened her back before replying, "Yeah. Feng Nian called Teacher Shi, and she called our parents. I told them everything about Lu Ruan's harassment there. It seems her punishment will soon be decided."
"Your friends, did they know? That she had been harassing you all this time?"
Li Caiyi shook her head. "No. I didn't speak a word about this to anyone."
There was that silence again. Li Caiyi glanced at Dai Zhiqiang and found the exhaustion in his eyes a bit unsettling. What if he finally got fed up with her? She felt fear shrouding her mind just by the thought of that.
Li Caiyi gingerly reached out and tugged on his sleeve before saying, "I'm sorry. I have kept this from you all this time. You must have been very disappointed with me.
His lack of response made her even more anxious. She should have made an excuse; anything was fine. Yet, her tongue stiffened when she looked at his gloomy face.
"No, that's not it." Dai Zhiqiang grabbed her hand and intertwined it with his. "I'm not disappointed in you. I'm disappointed in myself."
Li Caiyi looked up in bewilderment. He leaned over to peck her cheek before continuing, "I loathed myself for not noticing your hardship. You must feel reluctant to tell me because I'm rarely there for you when you need it. It was understandable if you felt like you couldn't depend on me."
"No, it's not like that."
Li Caiyi wanted to smack herself. She should have denied it vehemently, but when she looked back and always felt ill at ease, even in her own house, the strength left her words.
Only then did she realize that Dai Zhiqiang was probably right. She didn't want him to worry and was too used to doing everything alone. Even though she knew he would do anything to help her, she subconsciously wanted to brush his hand off.
Li Caiyi was afraid to reach out her hand for help, only to find it rejected again. It was the same when she couldn't bring herself to trust her friends.
Tears welled up in her eyes. She was so stupid for thinking that her relationship was normal and smooth sailing. It hadn't been normal in the past months, and it gnawed on her little by little.
All those comforts she felt were only temporary. She had always felt lonely and anxious.
Dai Zhiqiang was shocked when she saw her watery eyes. "Yi Yi, what's wrong? Did you feel hurt somewhere?!"
Li Caiyi shook her head. The suppressed feeling slowly came out, and she blurted, "Zhi, what happened to me? To us? Sometimes I wonder if this is really the right way to do things. I used to think that as long as our feelings are mutual, there's nothing to fear, but why is this so hard?"
In the next second, she found herself being pulled into his embrace. "None of this is your fault. It's because I'm not good enough. I know you will feel unhappy, but I was greedy and still wanted you despite everything. I promised I would cherish you, yet I did nothing but make you wait for me."
Li Caiyi bit her lips to stifle her sobs, but she was worn out. There was no time to relax at all. The harassment, the raid during the anniversary party, and today's incident exhausted her beyond measure.
"Do you hate me now? We promised to tell each other about our hardship, but I broke it...."
"Yi Yi, you have done well by yourself all this time. I have always admired your inner strength and kindness. I was just whining because I didn't want to look pathetic in front of my beloved woman. I'm the worst."
His voice was trembling ever so slightly as he held her tighter. Li Caiyi liked being in his arms the most. It was the safest and the most comforting place in the world.
'To maintain a relationship, mutual love alone wasn't enough.' Li Caiyi thought somberly. She was deprived of love in her previous life, so she didn't know what it meant to properly love someone.
Dai Zhiqiang gave her his love, but she arrogantly thought that was all she needed. That was why she relentlessly blamed herself when she craved his attention and time.
"No, Zhi. It was my fault. I have underestimated the meaning of 'romantic relationship' all this time. You understood it more than me and warned me about it. Yet I refused to listen and jumped into it anyway. This was all the result of my choice, so don't be so harsh on yourself."
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm"Yi Yi, is it hard being with me? I...never wanted you to suffer because of me."
Li Caiyi's heart sank when she noticed something was off with his tone. He sounded like he was preparing to give up on everything.
'No, I don't want to break up. I don't want to lose him.'
Overwhelmed with fear, Li Caiyi hugged his neck before planting a kiss on his lips. It was a bit forceful and took Dai Zhiqiang off guard.
They toppled together to the bed, but Li Caiyi didn't stop. The kiss became more passionate with her on the attack. It was sloppy and clearly an inexperienced kiss, yet it made his heart soar.
Dai Zhiqiang could feel her smoothness and warmth pressed against him, making his blood boil. They were alone on her bed, and his beloved aggressively shoved herself toward him.
No man would be able to resist that.
Dai Zhiqiang put one hand behind her neck to deepen the kiss, answering her advance with equal fervor. While rubbing her waist tenderly with his other hand.
It wasn't too strong to dominate her, as he wanted her to keep the lead, but it was certainly enough to make her head spin.
When they finally parted, both were breathless with flushed cheeks. Li Caiyi had moved on top of her before he knew it, straddling him between her white, alluring thighs.
When he looked up, she looked like an angel who graced him with her presence.
As she looked at him in a daze, a string of saliva dripped from the corner of her mouth. Her eyes were watery, and her chest went up and down with her heavy breath.
'What a sinful angel she is,' Dai Zhiqiang thought.
The young man enjoyed this view very much. She was too beautiful that it rendered him speechless, with his mind on cloud nine.