QT: Against My Will

214 4.38 – My Body – Dangerous Angels ????????????????????????????.＆nbsp;ᴄo????

After gaining some of her past memories, Bing Shi was able to keep her current self, denying to show any adverse after-effects. He, on the other hand, had a tough time keeping his “current” self when his “past” lives kept fighting for dominance. Two distinct personalities from different timelines remained stubborn, switching constantly depending on a situation. Resulting in this sharing, yet not sharing.

To make matters worse, he felt as if he was being eaten up by a black hole, slowly disappearing into nothingness. He was going through the same identity crisis that Ziek did, which was all due to the immeasurable jealousy not only towards Xuan Mu but also Ziek.

Mr. Jelly:? If you remembered the past, and there’s a man you loved more than me. Who would you choose?

The question, which terrified him the most. He gave up on Bai Meili the moment Bing Shi etched herself into his mind. He broke all the promises he gave to his past lover. For him, love and trust didn’t go hand in hand.

‘Is he doubting me?’

Mrs. Jelly:? I’d choose the one I’m currently dating. And that’s you. Don’t worry. I won’t abandon you even if another Xuan Mu appeared before my eyes, which I doubt, but well, here you go.

She made it sound so easy. Not that name again.

Mr. Jelly:? Bing Shi, I want to be myself today.

He was baffled. Such an insignificant problem. Why was he making her worry?! It was because of those two. They could cry their eyes out, act spoiled, or childish, knowing well that she wouldn’t mind. It was fine to ask for help. So why? Why was he so afraid to act weak before her? ‘I have nothing to offer.’

.....

Mrs. Jelly:? Go ahead, it’s not like I can tell any difference.

No, tell him she was lying.

Mr. Jelly: ?Call me by my name, please.

She was going to forget him, wasn’t she?

Bing Shi took out a mirror from her bag, turning away from the window, she connected to him through the same channel she used with Kuro.

Ah, ok. This is so awkward... Ehm, ehm... Ru Quan??

Hearing her worried voice calling out his name, his heart skipped a beat; he looked away from the screen, his eyes reddened, his breathing became unsettled.

Hello? Can you hear me? Ru Quan? Ruu Quaaan? Darliiiing.?

Mr. Jelly:?That’s enough.

He stopped her, or else, he would erupt from the sheer happiness.

Bing Shi hid her face under a hoodie, placing the mirror on the table, so he could see her reflection in the mirror through Kuro’s channel, which was connected to her eyes. In the end, it came to this. He was asking to be treated differently. The current Ru Quan was like the suicidal Xuan Mu in his teenage days. Those days were truly depressing, suffocating. Under his strong facade, he was breaking, falling apart. He didn’t love himself. He loved her, and only her, having no hobbies, no life. He acted perfectly to make her stay. It took him a while to learn how to be a little selfish, to enjoy other things besides her.

‘Xuan Mu, why is your soul so heartbreakingly beautiful?’

Hm? What is it? A middle-age crisis??

Leaping down, Ru Quan walked the hard-ridden animal along the stream until it cooled down before allowing it to drink, which spoke a bit about his character as an experienced rider. The towns were usually a day trip apart, sometimes even a week apart. To reach Bing Shi, it’d take him three days.

Mr. Jelly:? Maybe.

Ah, so mysterious. I love it.?

Mr. Jelly:? I’m really old and boring.

That makes us one.?

Mr. Jelly:? You’re ridiculous.

Hearing her giggle, he closed his eyes for a second, his lips slightly curved up.

Mr. Jelly:? What sold me out?

There are many things that make you different. For example, you’re a bit more old-fashioned, your guard is high as Mt. Everest... Oh, and you never complained about the horses, hehe.?

“...” He showed a vacant expression. That didn’t comfort him at all.

According to the ‘old’ Xuan Mu, horses were ridiculously fragile. They couldn’t run all day for several days in a row. He was dealing with an emotional living creature that could bucket at a sight of a white snake, not a rocket that could travel impossible distances without food and water.

Xuan Mu and Ziek, who were used to fast cars would have a hard time dealing with the frequent breaks and their ‘snail’ speed. If it were not for Bing Shi’s warning, Xuan Mu, that car enthusiast, would invent an automobile just for the sake of his comfort.

Before taking a rest, Ru Quan and Edan took off the saddles, to let the horses wander around to feed themselves – the horse’s stomach was small, it needed little amount of food at short intervals.

“Set the fire and a tent,” said Ru Quan to Edan, as he went to catch some fish for the night.

+—- Author’s note —–+

Who thought that Ru Quan disappeared?

Bing Shi is slowly accepting Xuan Mu wholly as a soul! ??(??????)

Do you like Bing Shi’s skin color? I think the bone structure of the face, healthy look, etc. is more important to define an outer beauty, rather than skin color.

?????

Some interesting info:

(1) A hot horse given water or food immediately after a run could be permanently injured, unusable. It could even die.

(2) A horse can travel a distance of 100km/24h at max, with a break every hour or so, that’s if you don’t want your horse to die. To match the royal couriers’ speed of 60km/h used in the past, you’d need to swap a horse every hour at sway stations to avoid breaking them down. (So when in a the MC can travel days and night without a break by using one horse, it shows that the author is misinformed or the horses are not actually Earth horses.)

Ru Quan’s song below:

the FAIM – make believe [ lyrics ]

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