My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

Play Date

Six o’clock in the latter half of the hour. The small interval in time where daylight bridges with the night sky. The murky glow of stars briefly in the canvas of an orange overcast sky.

A constant recurrence in our day to day. A beautiful recurrence in our day to day.

Be honest though, who even still pauses what they’re doing to look up at the sky anymore? Yeah, that’s right.

If one were to only stop and marvel at the beauty that encapsulated our daily lives, perhaps serenity would find its way more into our burning, yearning souls.

Too bad six o’clock was when my favorite show started broadcasting. Sorry, Mother Earth, maybe I’ll appreciate your all-natural, 100% organic beauty some other time, yeah? Raincheck me.

Perhaps this was some sort of karmic justice, yeah that’s it. A form of divine retribution for my blissful willful ignorance. I mean, why else would I be subjugated a prisoner to Ria’s despair-ridden whims?

Forced to sit by at the dining room table, given no alternatives but to stare begrudgingly into those conniving crimson eyes of mischief reincarnated, as she twirled herself a forkful of carbonara, brazenly provocative, her stare ever so alluring.

See, I expected a pop quiz on the dos and don’ts of dating 101. Push aside the living room couch, come roll in the chalkboard, and open your textbooks to page 394.

.....

Wouldn’t have really minded if she did that instead. Sure, I’d moan and whine – put back the couch you freaking chicken – but a back to school lesson would have really been so much more straightforward than what she had planned here.

What’s a makeshift dinner date going to accomplish? Sure your pasta’s delicious, didn’t even know you could make some… point, though? Where’s the point?

“More… water… Sir?”

A pitcher of glass slowly slithered into peripheral view and with it appeared the pale, razor-sharp nails holding it still in its grasp.

The question of life is a wonder that would always elude mankind. Screw that, my greatest ponder was why the hell did Ria decide to make Adalia play the part of a waitress?

Look at her just standing there staring at me eat goddamn spicy meatballs – it’s creepy as shit, dude!

“I’m… I’m good, Adalia,” I said, widely smiling, while inside, very much dying. “Maybe later.”

“Okay...”

Adalia and her little pitcher of water retreated a single step back from the dinner table, standing so perfectly still that she was practically invisible to the naked eye… or so I wished.

I can still see you, Adalia. You’re not as hidden in the darkness as you think can you please stop staring at me so intensely, you’re freaking me the hell out.

“Master?” From across the table came a sensual gentle voice. “Is the meal not to your liking? I’ve noticed you barely touched yours.”

Ria looked at me with concern in her eyes, the ethereal glow of flames that shrouded her exuded so much warmth and welcome just then- I could almost forget how deceitful it really all was.

“Mmm-hmmm,” I straighten my lips, glancing slightly to a pitcher-holding figure to the right of me. “I wonder why that is?”

“Pay no mind to others, my dear Master, for tonight is a night dedicated to us two, and us two only. It needn’t be ruined and wasted by simple trivialities. I implore you, enjoy yourself, yes?”

Don’t even know how to respond to that. So I turned to the only person in the vicinity that would actually speak some sense.

“Adalia, waitressing… you having fun?”

“It’s… a favor,” muttered the misty-eyed server. “Ria… told me…”

Suddenly there was a clatter at the table, two hands slamming onto wood, and a sickly sweet smoldering expression smiled in my direction.

“Mistress Ria,” She paused to smile. “The benevolent wonderful Ria, decided it best to make due to the deeds she’s owed by one Adalia The Matriarch for careless negligence resulting in the multiple deaths that Ria, in her heartbreaking misfortune, had to undergo.”

Fancy talk was not my kind of talk. Took a few moments of blinking and staring before I could sort out and unravel what the hell was even said.

Again, I preferred the rational and the normal, so I turned once more to the pitcher-lady for clarity.

“So because you killed her when you frenzied, you’re doing what she tells you to do to make up for it?”

Adalia’s movements were always slow and sluggish, but that one, she vigorously nodded her head for.

“Eat… Sir…” She said. “Your food is… getting cold…”

Someone must have spiked my drink with crazy juice or something. Everything that was happening played out like a very lucid, very bizarre dream after a night’s worth of drinking minus the passing out part.

Eating pasta with a Phoenix pretending to be an Elf to get you ready for a date with said Elf, while a terrifying creature of the night played wingman to yourself, holding up pitchers and offering replenishments.

Nice to know that the batshit insane wasn’t just exclusive to the imagination.

Still, if they both think this might be beneficial in the long run, who am I to reject their helping hand?

I shoved a big clump of noodles into my mouth and chewed.

“Very good,” nodded Ria, her eyes glittering with approval.

It was getting harder to refrain from rolling my eyes at the absurdity of it all. I had half a mind to simply get up and adios outta there. I’ve dealt with and see enough already ten minutes into this ‘date’ of hers, don’t think another ten would really do much anyway.

At least, that’s what five-minutes-ago me would have said, the me now opted to instead keep to his own at the dinner table, gulping his food down with a chug of cold water. ????n????????eа????. ????o????

If she wanted a dinner date, she’ll get a dinner date alright.

“You’re not eating your broccoli,” whispered I, without glancing away from my own plate.

The sound of her fork scraping against the plate immediately stopped.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Your less pasta and more greens at this point,” I continued casually. “Why aren’t you eating your vegetables?”

Ria frowned, bemusement slowly filling her eyes, before speaking again. “Ah, well… Master, as you are already well aware, I absolutely abhor the taste of broccoli. Growing up, I found – ”

“No, no, no… Ash,” I glanced upwards, leaning my tone heavily onto the name. “Didn’t you used to eat anything I give you? Pretty sure you weren’t even all that picky with your food. Or at least, that’s what the Ash I knew was like.”

It was her turn now to blink and stare. Seconds spent in silence before she finally realized what I was trying to do here.

Ria’s smile was warm, yet the twinkle in her eyes challenged the one in my own.

“Oh, was that really the case before?” She asked with controlled politeness.

I simply shrugged my shoulders.

“Very well…”

Following those words, Ria stabbed the head of a large piece that laid slump at the very center of her meal, aggression flushing with every flourish and twirl of her arm as she raised it, bit into it, and chewed it whole in front of my very eyes.

Watching her try and hold back the disgust and revulsion on her face from surfacing without also bursting into laughter myself was harder than I thought.

But I pulled through it, and amazingly enough, so did she.

“You’re going to eat the rest too, right Ash?” I asked, feigning ignorance. “You still got a good amount left on your plate there.”

I saw Ria’s smile give a twitch, to which she immediately blinked away and hid by taking a sip from her glass.

“Why, of course, I am,” She muttered so confidently while also staring down at her meal with uncertainty. “It is… what – who I am, after all.”

Okay, there I couldn’t suppress my smile from showing any longer.

How many times did I play right into your hands, Ria? How many times did you always get the last laugh?

Well, now you’re in mine, now I’m laughing.

You wanna pretend this is a date, you wanna pretend to be Ash? Well, you’re gonna have to act and do exactly as she would otherwise how are you to ever convince me, right?

“Yes, you’re you Ash, and you do everything that Ash would do, because you’re you, hmm?”

Do your best, Ria. I mean – Ash.

The date has only just begun.