My Pick Up Artist System

After a thorough clean up session, Penelope was now going through her digital camera's roll with Ben. They were choosing the photos that would best show the boyfriend her love…

In other words, she was still somewhat drunk…and not only on alcohol, but on c*ck too…

As she was about to select a photo, Ben stopped her. "No, not that one…the other one… Right, that picture's the best. It really brings out your feelings while letting him know you still care." Ben was pointing to a photo where Penelope's eyes bulged because she throated herself on his shlong...

…

As they both laid in bed, Penelope soon emailed the photos to the boyfriend, and just like that, he was a proud new green-hatted leprechaun…

While Penelope went to check her phone, Ben continued scrolling through her photo roll. That's when he saw something interesting—photos of her in the same dorm room, nude…but not taken by him… From the teasing look on her face, he could tell it wasn't a girlfriend who was taking them…

Ben glanced at her. 'It seems It's not just me she's cheated on her boyfriend with…' He had a strange feeling for a moment, but soon shrugged it off. In reality, he didn't know this girl, and they only had a one night stand. In fact, she was already dating someone else and this was an affair…so this type of issue had nothing to do with him.

When Penelope finished checking her phone, she turned towards Ben, having remembered something she'd been wanting to ask him. "Leeroy...why you no speak Greek to me like when first met?"

'The alcohol must be starting to wear off…' Ben considered his answer for a few moments before responding. "Those few lines in Greek were the only ones I know how to say…"

…

She raised an eyebrow. "Those very specific lines about textbook on macroeconomics?"

…

With a sincere expression, Ben just kept nodding like a bobblehead…

Penelope shook her head, finding his excuse strange but no longer caring. "Ok. I need go sleep…"

He wasn't sure what the protocol was here so Ben could only go by what he'd seen on TV. "Sounds good, so…should we cuddle or…"

Penelope narrowed her eyes at him. "No…I sleep…you go…"

[Target's current attraction level: interested(-1)(+2 drunk bonus)]

'Welp…I guess that's my cue to leave…' As Ben got up off the bed and began putting his clothes on, he noticed something shiny out of the corner of his eye. It was on the bed between Penelope's legs…

'What is that?' He squinted and stepped towards her to take a closer look. Soon, he saw a rectangular item the size of a salt shaker, colored light blue, and glossy… When Ben was close enough to recognize what it was, he gasped. "Oh my Diablo…did that fall out of her coochie? That's a tiny treasure chest!"

…

Ben thought about it and then understood it must've been a part of the system, a reward that came out after they had s.e.x. 'Unless that's some kind of Greek s.e.x toy...'

In any case, a treasure chest was like crack for a gamer. Without thinking twice, he stretched out his hand and picked it up.

"What f*ck you doing?!?" Yet, Penelope didn't seem too excited that he reached for her nether region all of a sudden…

Ben wasn't sure what to say, so he first eliminated some options. 'I probably shouldn't tell her that her snatch was a wild boss that got slayed and dropped loot…'

[Target's current attraction level: curious(-1)(+2 drunk bonus)]

[Target's current comfort level: acquaintance(-1)(+2 drunk bonus)]

Penelope didn't give him time to explain. "We done…get out malaka!"

Exhausted from the crazy day, he wasn't in the mood to try to reason with a drunk girl. Instead, Ben finished getting dressed and left…

He closed the door and walked to the elevator. 'So she's making me do the walk of shame...' he stared at the ground...

'Psyche, just had s.e.x!' Ben jumped in the air and clicked his heels together!

Shame? Impossible! The universe cast a shame-invincibility buff on every freshly-s.e.xed man!

As he arrived at the elevator, Ben recalled something. 'Damn. I should've taken the camera... If I followed the playbook, I could've used those pictures to blackmail her for more s.e.x in the future…

Then, when I met her close female friend or relative who cared very much about her, I could've used Penelope's photos again to blackmail that girl…

After that, I could've taken pictures of the new girl, blackmailed her with them…and used them to blackmail a third girl…

Like that, the cycle would've continued until I s.e.xtorted every woman on Earth!'

…

Ben shook his head and sighed. 'Forget it, I can't bring myself to do that kind of thing…' The man who thought up such a scheme was on the side of justice…

He took the elevator up to his floor. On the way up, Ben's mind was still recalling his amazing s.e.x session with Penelope… With his brains on overdrive, inspiration struck him like Buddha under the Bodhi tree…

Having attained enlightenment when he stepped out into his floor, Ben began performing his new and improved version of Khalid's "Talk."

"Can't we just cuckkkkkk?~

Can't we just cuck?~

How about you start blowin'~

So your face gets glossedddd~

Let me nut first~

Can't get these photos without flowin'~

I've never felt like this before~

Your boyfriend's cryin' in his car~

Can't we just cuckkkkkk?~

Can't we just cuck?~

P*ssy-dropped treasure chest glowin'~"

Ben took a deep breath as he imagined being in front of a standing ovation in Madison Square Garden…

"Shut the f*ck up!" Instead, a familiar voice screamed from inside a dorm room.

Ben recognized that voice and chuckled, continuing to walk to his own room.

Meanwhile, Tyler was in bed, having woken up due to Ben's wretched song... What's worse was now he'd be unable to sleep because a damn catchy tune kept looping in his head…

As Ben arrived at his door, he yawned, realizing he was starting to have difficulty even keeping his eyes open. The day was the craziest of his life, pushing his mental and physical endurance to the absolute limit, so once he reached the safety of his home, his nerves relaxed and all the exhaustion hit him at once.

When he reached for the keys in his pocket to unlock the door, Ben's hand traced something smooth which reminded him that he forgot something. It was that light blue treasure chest in his pocket. However, he wasn't in the mood to look at it now. He needed to sleep.

When Ben entered his room, he crashed into the bed right away. His last thought before drifting off was 'What a day…glad it's over. What a finale too…almost feels like…it was the end…of volume one of my legend…'

That night, he dreamt of cuckolding all the gods on Mount Olympus…before being chased by Big Bird…