GUILT LAURA
| closed the door to Josh's room as quietly as | could, my chest heaving like I'd just run a marathon. My legs felt
shaky, my hands trembling as | pressed them against the cool wood for support. The air in the hallway was
stifling, thick with everything. I'd just done. What the hell was wrong with me?
| was supposed to be here for Jess. Jess. My best friend. And instead, I'd—
My stomach churned violently, and | bit down on my lip hard enough to taste blood. | needed to move. | needed
to do something, anything, to wash away the guilt clawing its way up my throat.
| stumbled down the hall and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. The sound of the lock clicking into
place gavea fleeting sense of security, but it was quickly replaced by the suffocating weight of my actions.
| turned the shower on full blast, not waiting for the water to warm up. The icy spray hit my skin, and | gasped,
but I didn't step away. Instead, | grabbed the loofah and soap and scrubbed. Hard.
It wasn't enough.
No matter how much | washed, no matter how red my skin
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09:15
GUILT
288 Noucher's
turned, | couldn't rid myself of the shame. I'd slept with Josh. Jess's brother.
Her brother, for crying out loud.
| squeezed my eyes shut as the events of the night played on a loop in my head. His hands, his mouth, the way
he'd looked atlike | was the only thing in the world that mattered. For a moment, I'd let myself believe it. But
| couldn't anymore.
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The shower did little to cleanse the guilt, but | finally stepped out, wrapping a towel around myself as | stared at
my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were red-rimmed, my cheeks flushed from the heat of the water and the
tears I'd refused to let fall. "Get it together, Laura," | whispered to myself.
| dressed quickly, pulling on a pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie before heading downstairs. The kitchen
was dark, but | didn't bother turning on the lights. Instead, | moved on autopilot, grabbing the coffee pot and
setting it to brew. The soft gurgle of the machine filled the silence, and | leaned against the counter, gripping the
edge so hard my knuckles turned white.
How could I have done this?
Jess trusted me. She invitedinto her home, into her life, and I'd repaid her by crossing the one line | shouldn't
have.
| shook my head, disgusted with myself. It didn't matter what Josh had said or how he'd madefeel. It could
never happen
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09.15
again. It wouldn't happen again.
The coffee finished brewing, and poured two cups, adding cream and sugar to one just the way Jess liked it. | was
going to tell her. She deserved to know the truth, even if it ruined everything.
| carried the mugs to her room, sat down, waiting for her. My heart was pounding, my palms sweating.
When Jess finally walked into her bedroom, | froze. She looked tired, her hair a mess, her eyes rimmed with
exhaustion. She stopped when she sawsitting there, and for a moment, | thought she could see right
through me. "Hey," | said softly, pushing the mug toward her.
Jess sank into the chair across from me, wrapping her hands around the cup but not drinking. She stared at the
window, her expression distant.
"I need to tell you something," | began, my voice trembling.
But Jess cutoff. first," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
| swallowed hard, nodding. "Okay."
She took a deep breath, her hands tightening around the mug. "Bryan... he... he tried to force me."
Her words hitlike a freight train, and my stomach dropped.
"What?" | whispered, my voice cracking.
Jess nodded, her lips trembling. "We went to the park after the
<
09.161
GULT
dinner, and he... he wouldn't take no
for an answer. He chased me
through the park. | managed tg get
away ag endedphta diner The
Waitrbss there helpedcall
someone." She paused, her voice
shaking. "I remembered Luke's
number. | don't even know how, but |
did. He cand got me." The
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| felt like | couldn't breathe. My eyes
darted to my phone SitngLseIEssly
op the dres3er Spstairs. Switched off.
"I'm so sorry, Jess," | said, my voice thick with emotion. "It could have been... you could have been..."
Jess shook her head quickly, stoppingmid-sentence. "But | wasn't," she said firmly. "And it didn't happen."
Her words were meant to reassure me, but | could see it-the crack in her armor, the brokenness in her eyes.
| reached across the room, grabbing her hand. "Jess..."
She gavea small, shaky smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I m okay, Laura. Really."
| wanted to believe her. | wanted to
believe that everything youddddTine.
i deepldown Fknew things would
never be the same-for either of us.
And as | sat there, holding her hand, the guilt insidegrew even heavier.