Lazy Dungeon Master-Novel

LDM 520 – Terrorists who question a saint.

“Answer me, Saint Alca! Why was there a dungeon under this town!”

I say it again to make the people around me more interested in hearing what I have to say than what the saints say.

I’m not running away right now, and no one is even trying to catch me. ….Oh, my dear saint, you’re disqualified in many ways when you listen to the words of terrorists.

“Tha-that dungeon is …… good!”

“How can a dungeon be good or bad? Since when did the Holy Kingdom become a vassal state of the Raverio Empire?”

“You’re wrong! That dungeon is an artificial dungeon, created by human hands under the leadership of the Pope!”

An artificial dungeon?

“It is the result of alchemy, the work of man. Therefore, even if God of Light sees it, there is no problem.”

“Oh. Have you confirmed this with the God of Light?”

“Yes, we did. The Pope can talk to God the Light.”

Hmm, that’s suspicious. Are you serious?

But I can also talk to the dark god – [Father], so I confirm that it’s a lie. there’s also possibility there’s an angel that can act as mediator.

Let’s dig some more details from her.

“Hoo? Even a Hero can’t speak freely with the God of Light, you know?”

“The Pope is special.”

“Where’s the evidence that the Pope had words with the God of Light? About forgiving natural or artificial dungeons, or something like that, do you think the God of Light would actually say that?”

“……You’re the one who seems to know the God of Light firsthand, right?”

Well, I’m somewhat of a Hero myself. To an extent, I do met with him directly, I couldn’t see his face, though, because he was all lit up.

…Maybe I can shake her up even more by showing her that I’m a Hero? I don’t know the details, but there’s a high chance that a Hero is revered being in the God of Light religion.

“That’s right. I was asked to do a job directly by the God of Light to destroy the dungeon and not a word about overlooking artificial dungeons.”

“What…?”

Well, I was only asked to do it. I didn’t actually do it.

Wait, but I’ve broken dungeon cores without number, and I guess you could say I’ve done a minimum amount of work? At the very least. I do have the heroic skill [Super Transformation].

“…Hero– Are you really the Hero?”

“Before you ask me that question, answer me about the Pope.”

The saint stares at me. Probably because my hair color is common in this world, and so is the face.

“You said that the Pope made the dungeon – is he human? Are you sure it Isn’t that an inhuman being in disguise?”

“The Pope has a lot of suspicious things about him… that’s the truth.”

Eh? Do you also have your suspicion?

“The Popes were… always the same person for five generations dating back to the present.”

“Five generations, huh? That’s confirmed then.”

I don’t know what kind of institution the Pope is, and if you’re talking about four years per generation, well… I don’t know how long one generation is. But for now, I confidently nodded my head.

From the way the saint talks, it seems that once the Pope takes the seat, they’ll serve for a dozen years or so until they retires due to aging.

And then I suddenly thought of something. The black dungeon core – a gift of alchemy. That means there’s a very good chance that a certain chaos god, Leona, is involved.

“The Pope–or any of his entourage or servant—is there a black-haired, red-eyed woman?”

“The Pope is an old man, and I have no idea if there is a woman with black hair and red eyes. If such a person existed, it would be a topic of conversation.”

I was wondering if Leona was involved, but even if she were, she wouldn’t let me grab her tail so easily. ……No, wait.

“What do you mean by that? Are they criminal or something?”

“No, that was the color of the first saint.”

“…the first saint?”

“Yes. The first saint had hair as black as the dark night, eyes as red as fresh blood, and was said to use a phoenix.”

Aside from phoenixes, black hair is rare in this world. Even more so when combined with red eyes. The first saint was gone a long time ago, but Leona is… immortal.

And there’s no denying the possibility that slime who can turn itself into a wolf didn’t turn into a phoenix…

“…well, that’s okay. If there is no black-haired, red-eyed evil woman, then the Pope is the evil that nests in the God of Light religion. It seems that he is the one who should be dragged down and brought to justice.”

“Evil…?”

“That’s right. Your teaching says that you’re to destroy dungeons, yet, you’re building one, aren’t you? Don’t be ridiculous, artificial or not. A dungeon is still a dungeon! Isn’t it! Weren’t you guys supposed to follow the teaching to destroy dungeons!”

I composed myself and began my speech.

For now, let’s agitate them with their policy and make them suspicious of the Pope. I spread my arms and shout at everyone except the saints.

“Saint! What did the Pope say to you when he builds the dungeon? Is it because a country without dungeons will be inferior to a country with dungeons in terms of productivity? Is that why you’ll be able to turn a blind eye to a little evil for the sake of endless resources.”

“Well, that’s because… we would manage the dunge–“

“What!? So, it’s true? it seems that the Pope thinks that dungeons are useful! This is a terrible betrayal by a man who called as a Pope!”

I interrupted the saint’s answer and continued.

No matter what her answer is, all I need is the fact that there was a man-made dungeon as the truth. The saint already affirms it, and regardless of what she says, it’s now tied to the fact that the Pope [thinks that dungeons are useful]. For the Holy Kingdom, this is an act of betrayal – not destroying a dungeon that can be destroyed.

“I’ll tell God next time. I’ll tell the God that the religion of light has been corrupted!”

I then laughed.

Well, even though I say God, the God I’m reporting to is Haku, the White Goddess.

Now, I think I’ve bought ourselves a lot of time, but since the Pope seems to be suspicious, let’s play at least one more mischief since the number of spectators has increased.

“Saint! The Pope is the evil one who protects the dungeon. Do you still want to protect him?”

“Th-That’s…ugh …… who the hell you think you are!?”

“Whoever I am is nothing important! The teachings from God of Light or the Pope, which one are you protecting!”

“……the teachings from God of Light!”

With two absurd extreme options presented before her. Of course, you have to say that God of Light is the superior one. And now that she has made her choice, the saint has no choice but to cut down the other one.

“Then what do you know what to do!? “

“I’m going to remove the Pope from his seat……?”

“THAT’S NAIVE!”

BAM! I stomped my foot as a stunt; secretly, I created a small explosion without chanting and shook the air.

The saint’s body trembled at the unexpectedly loud sound.

“Bring down the Pope! Saint, that is exactly what God of Light teaches us to do!”

“yes!”

“Say it out loud! Bring down the Pope!”

“Br-Bring down the Pope. ……”

“Too quiet! Bring down with the Pope!!”

“BRI-BRING DOWN THE POPE!”

“BRING DOWN THE POPE! BRING DOWN THE POPE!”

Bring down the Pope. I let her say it out loud to imprint it in her mind.

It’s even better if you make her repeat it over and over again.

“BRING DOWN THE POPE! BRING DOWN THE POPE!”

“BRING DOWN THE POPE! BRING DOWN THE POPE!”

The deed I did was very simple brainwashing. This is a common method used by black companies.

The saint forgot to question my words as a terrorist and called out, “Bring down the Pope!” in public.

….Anyway, that should be enough time for us, right?

And just to make sure – let’s affirm her once more about the thing she must do, shall we?

“Don’t forget your mission, saint. [Bring down the Pope!]”

“Yes! [Bring down the Pope]!”

Uuuh, it works too well now she’s become an idiot.

I’m not sure if there is a resistance to this kind of status ailment in this other world(isekai). But I still can’t believe how easy she’s to be swallowed into it… Well, she’s a saint, so her faith is supposed to be strong.

Thus, I turned around and walked away while the saint just watched.