Lazy Dungeon Master-Novel

The Day Before the Dungeon Battle

The day before the Dungeon Battle.

Finally completing the dungeon, tomorrow is the day of the Dungeon Battle.

So today we’re having a meal that’s also serving as a Dungeon Battle Send-Off Party… in short, it turned into an animated banquet.

“Well then, I pray for your victory in your Dungeon Battle starting tomorrow—kanpai!” [1]

“”” Kanpai~! “””

Everyone raised their cups after Misha’s leading cheer.

From our [Cave of Desires], there’s me, Rokuko, Meat, and Ichika.

From Haku-san’s [White Labyrinth], there’s Haku-san, Chloe-san, Misha, Dolche-san, Amelia-san, and Sally-san participating.

I just met Sally-san for the first time today, but she she’s another member of Haku-san’s party and was the only one to not participate for this Dungeon Battle.

She’s a Living Armor Onee-san, but right now she has a body since she used humanization for the meal.

Normally, she’s a strong person that serves as the First Chivalric Order’s leader… Rather, this country, it really is in Haku-san’s hand huh. Well, the first conversation we had went like this.

“How about we have a bout next time? Ah, a serious one of course.”

“I politely refuse. I avoid fights that I can on principle.”

“So then, how about we have a bout next time? I’ll make it an unavoidable one.”

“… Isn’t that just a threat at that point?”

After that, I somehow managed to dodge the date by talking about how weak I am. It was decided that Meat and Ichika would be having a mock battle with her some time in the future, but I don’t have a problem with it.

I poured some more apple juice into my cup after emptying it from the toast.

… Eh? Why isn’t it alcohol?

I have a Dungeon Battle tomorrow morning ya know? Who’d want to do that with a hangover? Our staff are all banned from alcohol.

Why on the day before? Trying to sabotage?

Honestly, Haku-san is absolutely good with me losing. That way she’d be all, “Uhahaha,” and get her hands on Rokuko because of the [Guidance Rights].

Rokuko and Haku-san walked over to me when I started eating some roasted chicken.

“Hey Kehma, try this, it’s delicious!”

“Oh? Some kind of fried rice huh? Yep, it’s good.”

“Fufu, this is the imperial capital’s castle after all. All of the ingredients here are of the finest class and the chefs can cook them to perfection. It is natural that the food will be delicious… Right, chef that has received the training of Hero Ishidaka, renowned as the Food God, as a direct disciple was pleased that some secret recipes could be reproduced through using the [Rice] we received the over day. This [Fried Rice] is one of the reproductions.”

Ishidaka, wasn’t that the original name I used for making Ichika’s name?

I’d heard that he was a god of food and seas, but to think he was a hero huh.

By the way, the origin of him being called the sea god is that he taught the art of cooking fish and a much superior salt manufacturing technique. There’s also a legend that he healed sailors that got a strange disease from sailing with lemons. Ah, he really is like a sea god. [2]

He was probably a Cooking Cheat Hero-sama.

As I was thinking about stuff like that, Haku-san talked to me.

“Now, Kehma-san. Did you decide what to name the dungeon?”

“Eh, it’s my decision? If I just decided on whatever I… oh, right. I’m in charge of it, huh.”

“Yes. It should reflect Kehma-san’s view on it. Do you have any ideas?”

“… Well, taking Haku-san’s dungeon names as an example, it’d be fine as [White Beach] or something right? This dungeon has no desire-based elements to it after all.”

“Oh, that’s a wonderful name. Then… Misha, are you ready?”

“Yes! Understood~!”

Misha responded energetically. Her face is red and she’s already drunk… is that alright?

“Eeeh~? It’s alriiight, I’m nyaaat drunk~”

“All drunks say that.”

“Weeeell I’m gonna drink nyaow~, nyaaan~” [3]

“Aren’t you already…?”

“Kshhh~, I got caught~… But Kehma-san~? Why’m I the only one you treat so unseriously~?”

“Well, it’s because you sleep a lot, it feels kind of familiar. Saying it is a bit embarrassing.”

“Oh oh~? Are you making moves on me? We can sleep together after this if you want~? We won’t be sleeping though~”

“No, let me sleep. I have an important match tomorrow, so please get away—oi!”

Misha clung to me as though twining around me. Man she’s strong, I can’t get her off!

“Hey—Misha! Get away from Kehma, he’s my partner!”

“Nyaha, nyahaha~! Just kidding~, Rokuko-sama’s so a~do~ri~ble~? Heeey, Kehma-san, kiss me~, kiss~”

“This girl’s a super bad drunk…”

I used my hands to protect my lips from Misha while looking to Haku-san for help.

… Ah, not good. She won’t help me! Right now she’s hugging Rokuko in delight!

Eh, Misha!? Stop licking my hands, it’s ticklish! The roughness hurts a little!?

“Hey Misha, let go of Kehma-sama.”

“Amelia~? Can I nibble~? Can I nibble on your tail~?”

“No… Sorry Kehma, this girl always gets like this when she gets some alcohol in her.”

Squeezing between me and Misha with her lamia snake tail (legs), Amelia-san dexterously pulled her off of me. Phew, I’m saved.

I thought that, but—

“As an apology, would you be my partner? It’s alright, I’m gentle.”

“Ah, Amel-san, are you drunk? You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“Here, doesn’t my tail just feel nice and cool?”

Amelia-san wrapped her scale-covered tail (legs) around me, pressing her soft twins against me to tempt me.

… Her nice and cool tail (legs) cooled my head down a bit. I know, this is a honey trap. I mean, Haku-san’s been grinning since a while ago whispering stuff like, “Don’t you have faith in Kehma-san? If so, it’s alright.” Rokuko’s been watching me rather pointedly and believing in me with a, “Gununu…”

If I don’t do something with how things are going right now, I’ll be in tatters before I even see the morning, let alone the match.

“Amelia-san, could you please separate from me?”

“Ohhh, how cold. Even though I’ve seen you giving my tail such passionate gazes…”

“Next is my turn? Amelia’s turn is over~”

It feels like they aren’t trying to hide it anymore. Next is Dolche-san, the Wraith. Oi, does that mean that Chloe-san and Sally-san are coming after?

“Even though I don’t have legs since I’m a Wraith… what do you think?”

“Outside of my strike zone. Please come back after humanizing.”

“Waaah, how refreshing, like being purified… Alright, next is Sally.”

No motivation!? No, that’s actually a help though.

“A knight of the empire wouldn’t use such an underhanded trick as seduction! Therefore! I! Pass!”

“Aah~. Sally has a boyfriend huh. Oh well then.”

“W-w-wha, t-that’s not true!”

“Oh~? Is that so? Sally, how distant of you. Please tell me, who is it?”

“Haku-sama, I have sworn to be a lifelong knight of the empire. I would not get caught up in something like love.”

“Well then, isn’t there a possibility that the imperial knight leader will be caught in a honey trap? Not investigating their identity is no good, you know?”

“Plume isn’t like that!”

“Heeh, so it’s Plume? Isn’t that the marriage swindler wanted internationally?”

“That’s a fabricated crime!”

Haku-san laughed happily. Good, Sally-san looks to be alright. [4]

Next is… eh? Chloe-san isn’t here?

“Oh? Where did Chloe go off to? Going with this order, Chloe should be the closer. Did she run away?”

“Maybe. She is fully devoted to Haku-sama after all.”

If that’s the case, I’m saved. Phew.

“Then now’s my turn to seduce him~! Goshujin-sama~”

“Oi Ichika. This is an order, go eat some food.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice~. Ah, Rokuko-sama’s, there’s melon ya know? Want me to get some?”

“Yes please.”

Phew, everyone should be repelled now right? Are you satisfied now, Haku-san? Sexual harassment won’t work on me, see?

Haku-san looked at me with a smile.

“Then as a reward, I will serve you some alcohol. Is an ale fine?”

“I-I’ll pass. There’s the thing tomorrow, so alcohol is a bit…”

“Hoh? You won’t drink my alcohol…?”

The final barrier was power abuse.

I gave in. Geh…

Footnotes:

I assume most people reading this knows what [Kanpai] means, but just in case… it’s a mix of cheering and toasting: “Drink up!”Return

Just to say it, he ‘cured’ scurvy, a disease caused by a severe lack of vitamin C. Return

The raw here says “goronyaaan~”, meaning a happy meow. As it isn’t anywhere near as common in our community, I’ll be leaving it as “nyaaan~”. Just know that she probably did the signature ‘kitty pose’ as well. Return

She’s alright because Haku-san already knows about it. Probably. Also, lol for referencing Plume from way back in Chapter 97. Return