FFF-Class Trashero

[12th Round] Champion or 2nd Soldier

“Whoa!”

Captain Fantasy, on the other hand, was glad to see Ssosia.

He spread his lovely plump hands and, grabbing Ssosia, began to suck on her like a pacifier.

He clearly liked it.

“But she’s still… second in line.”

Captain Fantasy loved me the most.

Naturally, Ssosia, cursed to be ranked second at anything, was second in his heart.

In addition, he expressed love as a child!

At that moment, the mermaid suddenly hit Captain Fantasy in the head.

She wasn’t a living being but an android created with the help of magical engineering.

Though unable to cut the child’s soft skin, she made his head tilt slightly, showing how powerful the physical impact it dealt was.

I looked at its stats.

▷ Race: Premium Golem

▷ Level: 999+

▷ Job: Shaman (Beauty → Physical Strength ↑)

▷ Skills: Immortality G, Fortitude G, Endurance G, Charm ZZZ, Agility ZZZ…

▷ Status: Good

‘Incredible…’

Its skills’ ranks were much higher than its creator. I wondered how it was possible for Sage to still be its master.

“Ooh! Chmafk!”

“…”

Focused on playing with Ssosia, Captain Fantasy ignored the android’s offensive, brushing her aside like an annoying fly.

BOOM!

The difference in their weight classes came into play at that moment.

It wasn’t only his skills. Captain Fantasy’s size, which served as one of his weapons, was colossal, much like the Supreme Dragon of Oblivion’s.

“My Aqua!” Sage shouted, sounding as if he just lost his beloved.

Most likely because of his sincere support, the mermaid immediately rose from the ground after being slapped away by my creation.

However…

“Ooh!”

There were no second chances.

Captain Fantasy’s booty crushed her.

It wasn’t completely destroyed due to its G-rank Immortality, but his butt was too large and soft. The moment he sat on it, all it could do was remain buried there.

As expected, the android mermaid fell silent.

Its job was Shaman, which essentially increased its strength relative to its beauty, but the baby’s weight was far more transcendental.

The battle didn’t last that long at all.

“Drug Hero, it seems to me that that Golem is a whole entity in itself, not a fragment of Aqua.” The First Spirit said, grabbing my hair like reins.

“Then its name from now on is Aqua-Golem.”

“My Aqua! Get rid of this wicked kid’s ass!” Sage’s eyes began to bulge.

“Now isn’t the time to worry about others.”

“What?”

CLAP!

The creator of the android immediately grew silent.

He was proficient in dodging my attacks, but it didn’t matter. His fate was decided by one heavy blow from Captain Fantasy.

The Greatest Wizard, Sage, had exited the play, leaving behind only a small puddle of blood.

It all happened too quickly.

I wanted to ask him something, but it seemed I would have to wait until the next time we met. It remained unknown when that would happen, however.

“Regardless, I still gained useful intel.”

This institution could reuse those who had already disappeared, bringing them back to life.

If so, then there was nothing stopping them from cloning me as well.

Just thinking about it made me shiver.

▶ Explanation: You don’t have to worry about it. They can’t make clones while you are alive. The right term for it is Osmosis. Essentially, since the original’s living presence would be too strong, it would drive their clones to death.

‘I appreciate the explanation, Trainee Teacher.’

“Hu…”

I unsummoned Captain Fantasy, and he disappeared with a sad expression on his face.

Completely exhausted, Ssosia fell into my arms.

“You look more feminine now.”

“How rude. I’m having a hard time right now, so just leave me alone.”

I wrapped my arm around her hips, and as she pretended to be weak, I took her into an embrace.

Ssosia stared at me, her eyes widening.

“Even when I’m treating you well, you still look at me so viciously.”

“And you… you look more masculine now.”

“I’ll make you regret your insolence later. Anyway. I’ll be busy from now on.”

“Busy? You… Oh, I forgot. You are the emperor.”

Ssosia easily agreed this time despite her arguing with me all the time.

She really seemed to have been weakened.

FSHUH!

I opened the wings of the righteous hero.

Because of my position, I was forced to focus on documents all day, making me suddenly desire to become a hero again.

I considered it as nothing but a whim of mine.

“Since I’m already here, I guess I should eliminate the Snow Queen Elsh.”

▶ Concern: Please do not treat one of the Five Disasters as entertainment …

***

Snow Queen Elsh, one of the Five Great Disasters.

She ruled the northern part of the Northern Continent, located around the Snow Mountain M.

Locals believed that that sector wasn’t habitable.

Why?

For starters, the environment was unsuitable for a normal life.

Since it snowed there all year round, it was impossible to engage in agriculture, and there were no other animals there besides dangerous monsters.

Hence, everyone already recognized that all of the Northern Continent belongs entirely to the Holy Mollan Empire.

However, when I was one year old, I conquered even these lands.

“My underground base used to be here.”

“I know.”

“And we met here for the first time.”

“I know that too.”

Making my way through the blizzard to the very north, I dryly responded to Ssosia’s words, who was overwhelmed by her emotions.

It was virtually impossible for an ordinary person to survive on this frozen land, but magic made even the impossible possible.

That was how the Kingdom of Ice was born.

A kingdom ruled by lunatics who worshipped the Snow Queen Elsh as their Guardian and God.

“Invader!”

“Demon!”

These local inhabitants only ate the fruits and leaves of special plants growing in the northern part, and they were rather aggressive.

The wildest of all Fantasy savages.

That was most evident when they mistook me for a demon despite my heroic existence screaming righteousness and justice.

“It’s easy to misunderstand things with those things on your back.”

“You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, Ssosia. These beautiful wings have honored many villains and dastardly harems.”

My wings evolved to kill enemies effectively.

Why was the Holy Sword the Holy Sword? What made it impossible to make a Holy Sharp Chicken and make the world learn of its taste?

Why did it have to be a terrible murder weapon?

That was because it was a convenient form for chopping up enemies.

“Well… That aside, since we’re already here, why don’t we go to my house?”

“Your house?”

Hearing Ssosia’s suggestion, I frowned.

Both my “Hero” job and my “Emperor” role were extremely important.

The longer I rested, the more people suffered.

Hero Sieg was extremely quick-witted when it came to matters like this.

After all, he used dastardly methods. He would have fun and calmly wait until people were completely paralyzed before coming to their rescue.

I didn’t want to live like that.

At least until I retired.

“Wow… That’s an unexpected discovery. Now that I thought about it, I’ve never seen you having fun during the day. No, even at night… I guess you’re actually working hard for the good of the family.”

Ssosia had such an innocent expression on her face, almost as if she had just witnessed a miracle.

“Does that surprise you so much?”

“Uh-huh.”

“If the Hero rests for one day, then the peace of all mankind would be postponed by that long as well. That’s like violating traffic rules and causing an accident. It would result in closed roads and traffic jams. Many would be late for work, deliveries would be delayed, and customers would break the phone numbers of the information desks. It would be horrible.”

And that was just if I rested for one day.

But that used the “parallel connection” method, where everyone took a loss for a day. Using “serial connection” would produce a different result.

Basically, if I rested for one day, I would waste thousands of years.

“Isn’t that called the ‘Eighth-Grader Syndrome’?”

“This world revolves around me, like the protagonist of a fantasy novel, doesn’t it?”

This educational institution was created for me.

If I didn’t save this world, it would suffer forever. Even my job was called “The Hero Chosen by God,” wasn’t it?

“Well… to reduce your burden, there are companions ready for you to take.”

“What if they only get in the way?”

“You need to find companions like me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Who do you think made it possible for this empire to grow so quickly in such a short time? Who provided everyone with flush toilets? If it weren’t for the financial resources and support of the Dark Commerce I run, none of these would’ve been possible.”

“Hmm…”

That was impossible to deny.

Dark Commerce indeed had proven to be of great help.

“Sir Hero, don’t forget about me. My body and soul belong to His Majesty Elfheim, but I am your faithful companion until he reappears. Besides, I partially agree with your statement. If His Majesty Elfheim only reduced the time he spends entertaining himself, then the elves would’ve already pushed humans aside and ruled the world!”

Shadow A stepped in and began to praise her wretched husband. She clearly intervened just for that reason alone.

“Anyway, why don’t we stop by my home? There’s something there that you’d definitely want. Didn’t you say you wanted to return to Earth?”

“Hmm? Oh!”

I remembered now!

The reason why I wanted to see Ssosia again wasn’t her mean breasts.

I discovered the First Hero’s underground base in the Holy Kingdom’s dungeon. He had blueprints there based on which he tried to build a machine that could transport people between dimensions.

And Ssosia was the owner of those drawings.

After experimenting with it, my senior found out the mechanism didn’t function efficiently, but perhaps she could create a better one?

“If it were possible, I would have moved there already.”

“Well, it’s physically impossible… but you don’t have to transport your body there, do you? You can go to Earth with your soul.”

“Perhaps…”

My priority would be to check if my parents were okay. After that, I’d need to read all the novels and play all the games that I missed the past six years.

An avatar was suitable for this.

The Holy Mollan Empire might panic if their emperor disappeared, but it was for such occasions that I prepared a successor. I trusted that Chris would be able to handle everything.

There shouldn’t be any problems.

“But what about Fantasy?”

“The rest of the Heroes will be able to figure it out.”

If the other nine heroes joined hands, wouldn’t they be able to cope?

▶ Advice: The members of Class F are mostly problem children. It’s best for your mental health not to expect too much from them.

Trainee Teacher’s words pierced my chest like a dagger.

But I hadn’t changed my mind yet!

“Are you going to improvise everything?”

“In cases like this, they say one becomes decisive and energetic.”

“If you say so.”

Hiding the wings that caused unnecessary misunderstandings, I followed Ssosia to her home.

Snow Queen Elsh was still a long way to go.

To meet that certain member of the Five Great Disasters, I had to go further north…

“Hohoho! My kids! Steal all the beauties of this city. Kill every woman and freak who’d dare bother you!”

“It’s Elsh!”

“Brother! Run faster!”

“Ah! My son!”

Stopping and looking up at the sky, I muttered softly.

“Has the boundless love of the universe dried up?”

The Righteous Hero had to get to work!