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19. Hoping against hope
I stare at my son. I’m so proud of him and of the bond he has with his mother. No one, not
even her best
friends and her parents, knew the name she had chosen, yet she had told Noah.
“That’s really good,” Mary says, smiling at Noah. “You’re already shaping up to be a great
big brother.”
Noah just nods, then looks up at me.
“One day we were on her bed while eating ice cream because she wanted it so much. I
asked her what
name we were going to give to the baby. We spent hours going through baby names until
we settled on
those two. It was so much fun, and we laughed a lot.”
Tears start filling his eyes once again, and I pull him to my side. It physically hurt to see
him hurting. To see him in pain. I wanted to ease his heartache, but I didn’t have the
power.
“When will she get better? I miss her so much,” he continues to cry.
I kept quiet because I have no answer to that. Not even the doctors know when or if Ava
will wake up.
Mary kneels down to his level. She gently tugs at him a little. Noah doesn’t let me go, but
he twists his
head to face her.
“Tell you what? How about I let you visit your sister? You’ll be the first person to see her,”
she tells him.
“Really?” he asks as he wipes away his tears.
“Really” she smiles. “Just give me a few minutes, and I’ll come to get you. Is that okay?”
Noah nods his head as a small smile takes over his lips. The sadness is still there, but it’s
been pushed
back.
When Mary stands up, I give her an appreciated nod. It may seem like a small thing, but
she has done
something huge. She has given Noah hope. Something, or rather, someone to hold on to
while he waits
for his mother to recover.
She nods to the rest and then turns to leave. Taking Noah’s hand, I lead him to the seats. I
was damn
exhausted. Mentally, psychically, and emotionally. I could use some sleep, but I won’t get
it until I see
both mother and child.
To my surprise, Calvin, Gunner and Kate walk in. Gunner’s hand is held firmly in Kate’s.
They were chatting
while Calvin walked behind them. I can’t really tell whether they’ve told Gunner the truth.
I watch as Gunner’s eyes land on Emma. They become huge. I don’t understand that part,
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He let’s go of his grandmother’s hand and literally launches himself at Emma. Emma
doesn’t have it though. She gently pushes him away from her with a look of disapproval.
Gunner’s face falls, and tears start filling his eyes.
He turns around and hugs his father. Calvin in turn glares at Emma, as do Kate, Travis, and
everyone else who had watched the interaction.
Emma shrinks into herself but doesn’t say a word.
I look away and stare at Noah. He had his head on my shoulder and was holding my hand.
His eyes were closed, but I knew very well that he wasn’t asleep.
“What is he doing here?” The bitter voice makes me look up, only to find Kate pointing a
finger at Reaper as hatred and bitterness filter through her eyes.
“He’s here for Ava,” I tell her tiredly
Her face twists into something ugly. “I didn’t know that Ava was buddies with criminals.”
“Of course you didn’t, since you know nothing about my daughter,” Nora scoffs at Kate.
The women have a stare down. Sure, Kate is a powerhouse, especially as the matriarch of
the Sharp family, but she has nothing on Nora Howell.
“If
you don’t like the fact that he is here, then you’re free to leave. Personally, I don’t get why
the hell
you’re here in the first place, given that you treated Ava like shit for years.”
That seems to shut Kate up, but it also drenches up something that I wasn’t ready to deal
with.
Noah’s eyes snap open. He looks at the rest before looking at me.
“What is Grandpa Theo talking about?” He didn’t say the words loudly, but it was enough
to catch
everyone’s attention.
A look passes over all their faces. It’s like they’d completely forgotten that Noah was here.
“Nothing, buddy. It’s just a spat between adults. Nothing for you to worry about,” I try to
assure him, but he
doesn’t buy it.
“No. I know what shit means, and grandpa is talking as if mom wasn’t treated well. Is that
it?” His voice
becomes hard as it nears the end of the sentence.
Fuck. I was afraid this day would come. I notice that everyone except for Calvin and
Gunner stiffens. How
do I tell him that Theo was right without making him hate us? Without making him hate
me for the way we
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“Noah, are you ready to see your baby sister?” Mary comes back out with a smile on her
face.
I heave a sigh of relief and thank the heavens for the distraction. Noah seems to have
forgotten. everything as excitement takes over his features.
“Mr. Woods, you’ll have to accompany him,” she says, turning around as Noah takes her
hand.
I nod my head and follow them.
We first enter a separate room where they sanitize us before giving us a medical gown,
gloves, and masks to wear. Once that is done, we are then taken to the NICU unit. We pass
a few babies who were also in incubators before stopping at one in particular.
Mary smiles at us. “Noah, meet Iris.”
One look at her, and she had me wrapped around her tiny fingers. She wasn’t my blood,
but she already has my fucking heart in her hands.
Iris, though small, is beautiful. She had her eyes closed, so I couldn’t see her eye color,
but everything else, from her nose to her lips and the piece of hair that was sticking out of
her pink hat, was Ava. She was a spitting image of her mom.
I feel my heart break watching the tubes sticking out of her. She didn’t deserve this. She
should still be cushioned in her mother’s womb.
She’s alive.
Right. That’s what matters.
“Can I hold her?” Noah asks in a small voice.
珍味
Mary was right. Noah was already shaping up to be a great big brother. The love and care
he has for his
sister were plastered all over his face. There is no fucking way you can miss it.
“No, honey, you can’t…But you can touch her only if you promise to be careful.”
He nods. Mary helps him get his hands inside the incubator. He softly touches her cheeks,
and she leans
into him, though she doesn’t wake up.
We stay inside for a while until the nurse lets us know it’s time for us to leave. I walk back
to the waiting
room with Noah after we get out of the protective gear. I felt like I was in a fucking dream.
Like I was in
the present, but not at the same time.
“Where is Theo?” I ask my brother while taking a seat near him.
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Nora was by herself, and she looked so sad. So heartbroken.
“He’s with Ava. The nurse couldn’t let both of them in so Nora went first.”
Mary comes back again and asks who else wants to see Iris. Reaper, step forward. No one
argues as she leads him to see his niece.
“How’s Iris?” he asks.
“Beautiful” Noah still looks mesmerized. “For some reason, I think she looks like Mom.”
“He’s right,” I add. “She’s the spitting image of her mother.”
We stay in silence after that. A few moments later, Reaper comes out, phone in hand. He
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“It’s time for me to leave, but I’ll be in contact.” He tells me “For Ava and Iris’s sake I’m
willing to put our differences aside and catch the bastard that did this to them.”
“Fine,” I mutter, and give him my hand, which he shakes.
“Aren’t you going to wait to see her?” Theo asks as he emerges from the room.
“Not today. I’ve run out of time.”
With that, he turns and leaves. I watch him, wondering why he left in such a hurry. My
question is answered when Ethan walks in, escorted by police officers.
I can’t figure out if Reaper’s hurried rush has something to do with seeing his brother, the
police, or both.
I feel the familiar anger every time I think about Ethan. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him
for playing and deceiving Ava. 2
Standing up, I’m about to confront the bastard when a hand clamps down on my shoulder.
“We pulled some strings to get him here,” Theo begins. “You’re a father, so you
understand that he has as much right to be here as the rest of you. Probably more, given
he almost lost his daughter.”
That stops me in my tracks as I watch Nora stand up and hug him. He hugs her back while
fighting his emotions.
“Don’t start a fight. It isn’t worth it. Besides, I think you’d much rather go see Ava.”
1
I grit my teeth but nod my head. He’s right. No matter Ethan’s sin, he deserves to see the
daughter he came close to losing.
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I turn around just as the nurse calls for the next visitor. I ask if it’s okay if Noah and I go in
together, and
thankfully, she agrees.
We go through the same procedure we went through before seeing Iris. The moment we
get inside her
room, my tough resolve crumbles, and I collapse in the seat as my legs fail me.
Her head was wrapped in a bandage. The neck was in a neck collar. She had scratches on
her face,
probably from the glass that broke during the hit. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she had all
these tubes
sticking out of her and machines surrounding her.
I take one of her hands while Noah takes the other one.
“Mommy,” he calls, but of course she doesn’t answer.
She looks so peaceful. As if she were just sleeping, but we all know that’s not the case,
and that’s what
breaks my heart.
I try to force the words out, but nothing leaves my mouth except a strangled cry.
‘Please come back to me,‘ I beg. ‘I need you‘
I kiss her palm and then run my hand down her cheeks, hoping against all hope that she’ll
wake up soon.
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