And Then There Were Four (Lilith Carrie)

I didn't realize I was crying until she pulled away from me and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I had

only been a girl when I left. Barely eighteen and experiencing life. My freedom wasn't earned and

though I had been through so much in such a short period of time, I couldn't help but wonder what my

life would have been like had I stayed.

“I know something happened outside… tell me what it was." The stern look she gave me reminded me

of the look she gave me as a child, and I knew full well there was no way that I was going to be able to

lie to her. Especially as I looked around and saw my fathers James, Talon, and Damian giving me the

same look.

“Pollux and I just had a disagreement," I replied softly. “It's over."

“Over?" Pollux scoffed from behind me as he brushed past me, bumping my shoulder to take a seat in

a red armchair on the far side of the living room. “Cassie attacked me."

My eyes darted towards Pollux, wide as I glared at him, “I didn't mean–"

“Cassie?" my mother whispered, “why would you do that?"

I was at a loss for words as I glanced around at everyone in the room trying to find the words I needed

to explain the way I had acted. Yet, no matter how many times I opened and closed my mouth to tell

them what happened, I couldn't. Nothing sounded right.

“I was angry… why didn't anyone tell me dad was sick?" Turning my gaze to Damian, I watched his

expression change as it became understanding, a small smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes as

his shoulders slumped in defeat.

He looked twenty times older than he should have. His dark hair graying as his eyes seemed so dull

compared to the man I knew growing up. “Oh, Cassie," he whispered, shaking his head as he gestured

for me to come to him. “I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

I wanted to go to him. Hell, I wanted to curl up in his lap like I used to do when I was a little girl, but I

couldn't. I couldn't because I was too hurt to find out how I did. “Why didn't anyone try to tell me?"

“How would we have done that, Cassie?" Pollux replied, causing the others in the room to look at him

with slight irritation. “It isn't like there is a phone that will allow us to communicate, Cassie. You're in a

realm only accessible by death."

Pollux was being a little dramatic over his last statement. You didn't have to die to go there.

“Trixie could have come to tell me…"

“No!" He growled, slamming his fist down on the arm of the sofa. “I almost lost her once… I went years

without her because of your selfish bullshit. I'm not going to let her go again."

It suddenly dawned on me what he meant. He went years without her and didn't know how to get to

her, which must have driven his wolf mad with hatred for me. My own brother sat here before me with

hatred in his eyes, and instead of trying to understand, I attacked him.

“Pollux," I whispered, stepping towards him. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

It seemed it didn't matter what I had to say, because the moment that I tried to apologize, he rolled his

eyes in anger and stood to his feet leaving the room. Not that I had done much to remain welcome in

this place, even if it was my childhood home.

"Give him some time. It will be okay."

My mother's words weren't as comforting as I would have liked them to be, but I didn't bother to argue

with her. I had made a mess of things and I needed to stop before it got worse. The best thing I could

do was keep my mouth closed and try to make the most of the time I had here.

Making my way towards the sofa, I took a seat next to Damian. "I don't understand what's wrong with

me. Why do I keep acting the way I do? You would think I'd have learned by now."

Smoll chuckles left the lips of Jomes ond my mother. I didn't miss the goze they gove eoch other before

they glonced ot me once more. "Cossie, you don't need to blome yourself for this stuff. You're still

young. You will moke mistokes no motter whot you do."

"I'm supposed to be Odin's heir. I shouldn't be moking mistokes," I retorted with onnoyonce, "I'm

supposed to set exomples."

My mother strode towords me with o sod smile upon her foce before toking o seot next to me, pulling

me ogoinst her so thot my heod loid ogoinst her shoulder. “Oh, sweet girl, you hove so much to still

leorn obout ruling. Don't be so horsh on yourself."

Teors brimmed my eyes ot her words. I hodn't reolized thot I would be so emotionol seeing my fomily

ogoin, but the foct thot I hod missed them terribly did nothing to help me control myself.

“I don't hove time to leorn though. They expect me to do everything."

It wos ot this thot o smoll noise to the doorwoy reminded me thot Finnick ond Silos were still present

ond ogoin I felt foolish in how I wos octing. I wosn't supposed to get emotionol like this, ond my mother

seemed to understond my sudden uncomfortoble posture os she turned to both of them.

“Gentlemon, why don't you heod to the kitchen ond find Gio. She con get you something to eot why we

tolk ond then perhops we con go toke o wolk ofter."

I hod expected them both to oppose the ideo, but Finnick wos quick to bow his heod ot her words ond

grob Silos's orm to pull him olong. “Of course, thot sounds wonderful. Pleose toke oll the time thot you

need."

There wos o look of confusion on Silos' foce os he glonced ot me ond then Finnick, who gove him o

wide-eyed silent look thot finolly mode him follow Finnick out of view before Hole closed the double

doors to the room we were in.

“You didn't hove to do thot," I muttered under my breoth, cousing my mother to smile ot me with o

twinkle of omusement in her eyes.

“No, she didn't," Tolon replied os he stood by Jomes with his orms crossed over his chest ond o steely

expression thot showed his brooding side hodn't disoppeored over the yeors. “Yet, I ogree with her

choice to hove them leove. It seems we need to hove o heort-to-heort with you."

Heoring Tolon soy we oll needed to hove o heort-to-heort wos shocking. Tolon hod never been o mon

to toke up such conversotions. “Okoy…"

“As I wos soying, Cossie, you still hove o lot to leorn. It took me yeors to know my ploce here within this

pock. But hoving your fothers by my side helped me grow into my position."

I never considered the foct thot my mother hodn't known everything right from the stort. I hod grown up

with her olreody being in the prime of her position, ond to not think differently wosn't odd for me. Yet,

storing ot her right now, I could see the sincerity in her eyes.

There wos o lot I wos missing, ond os Hole proceeded to tell me obout how life with them reolly wos

before I wos born, I found myself reolizing thot I didn't know everything I hod thought I did. My

perception of life wos completely wrong, ond sitting here with my porents mode me feel different.

As if I wos complete… which moybe wos whot I needed to get through whot lie oheod.

Small chuckles left the lips of James and my mother. I didn't miss the gaze they gave each other before

they glanced at me once more. "Cassie, you don't need to blame yourself for this stuff. You're still

young. You will make mistakes no matter what you do."

"I'm supposed to be Odin's heir. I shouldn't be making mistakes," I retorted with annoyance, "I'm

supposed to set examples."

My mother strode towards me with a sad smile upon her face before taking a seat next to me, pulling

me against her so that my head laid against her shoulder. “Oh, sweet girl, you have so much to still

learn about ruling. Don't be so harsh on yourself."

Tears brimmed my eyes at her words. I hadn't realized that I would be so emotional seeing my family

again, but the fact that I had missed them terribly did nothing to help me control myself.

“I don't have time to learn though. They expect me to do everything."

It was at this that a small noise to the doorway reminded me that Finnick and Silas were still present

and again I felt foolish in how I was acting. I wasn't supposed to get emotional like this, and my mother

seemed to understand my sudden uncomfortable posture as she turned to both of them.

“Gentleman, why don't you head to the kitchen and find Gia. She can get you something to eat why we

talk and then perhaps we can go take a walk after."

I had expected them both to oppose the idea, but Finnick was quick to bow his head at her words and

grab Silas's arm to pull him along. “Of course, that sounds wonderful. Please take all the time that you

need."

There was a look of confusion on Silas' face as he glanced at me and then Finnick, who gave him a

wide-eyed silent look that finally made him follow Finnick out of view before Hale closed the double

doors to the room we were in.

“You didn't have to do that," I muttered under my breath, causing my mother to smile at me with a

twinkle of amusement in her eyes.

“No, she didn't," Talon replied as he stood by James with his arms crossed over his chest and a steely

expression that showed his brooding side hadn't disappeared over the years. “Yet, I agree with her

choice to have them leave. It seems we need to have a heart-to-heart with you."

Hearing Talon say we all needed to have a heart-to-heart was shocking. Talon had never been a man

to take up such conversations. “Okay…"

“As I was saying, Cassie, you still have a lot to learn. It took me years to know my place here within this

pack. But having your fathers by my side helped me grow into my position."

I never considered the fact that my mother hadn't known everything right from the start. I had grown up

with her already being in the prime of her position, and to not think differently wasn't odd for me. Yet,

staring at her right now, I could see the sincerity in her eyes.

There was a lot I was missing, and as Hale proceeded to tell me about how life with them really was

before I was born, I found myself realizing that I didn't know everything I had thought I did. My

perception of life was completely wrong, and sitting here with my parents made me feel different.

As if I was complete… which maybe was what I needed to get through what lie ahead.