Cam 29- Dating and doubting Harry has already started walking away when he realises that | haven't given my usual immediate refusal. I'm just stuck. Would it be so bad if | said yes? I'm sure going out with him would be fun if today was anything to go by. Simon already thinks Harry and | are dating and being seen with him might encourage him to stay away from me. He certainly backed off when Harry turned up today. He didn’t even send any more texts. | doubt it will be long before Simon is harassingagain, but maybe if | went out with Harry publically he would back off? Or at very least my mother and grandmother might take a hint. It’s not really like it would be using Harry or leading him on right? He's the one who keeps acting like we're already together, and he was the first one to start this whole couple act. I'm sure he would agree if he knew anyway. It’s not leading him on if | do actually plan to go out with him, which | will. | can’t imagine that this relationship will last or really go anywhere, but | could give it a chance. It should last as long as | hold out and don’t sleep with him | bet. All | have to do is stay out of his bed and keep him out of mine. | mentally ignore the part ofmaking jokes about how there are options other than beds. | have clearly been spending too much taround Harry and his innuendos. Yet here | am, contemplating the idea of spending even MORE twith him. Ugh, | suspect Harry's smug gloating is going to be unbearable though. With my decision made, | just need to tell him. But a nagging feeling of guilt somehow keepsfrom speaking. Harry slows, dragging his feet and taking his tin walking away. He clears his throat.
“Did you not hear my question? | asked if you would go out with me. You can go ahead and rejectnow. It feels wrong leaving before you've had the chance to properly turndown. | need my daily dose of rejection.” He jokes, clearly feeling awkward as | sit and stare at him. | guess he’s the type who tries to fill awkward silences. Actually, usually | do that too. I'm a bartender, I'm usually good at talking to people. But usually it's drunk strangers who don’t knowor really want anything more fromthan a drink and a smile. They might flirt or even askout but they're not actually offended by it when | turn them down because t they don’t actually expectto say yes. Actually, | don’t think I've ever really said yes when someone has askedout before. | was homeschooled and didn’t spend much twith anyone other than my family until recently. All my social skills have been developed behind the bar, meaning they are basically super shallow and are limited to small talk and drunk talk.
“Cam?” Harry takes a step back towards me.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇt“Are you alright? Is something wrong?” He asks cautiously.
1/4 Cam 29-Dating and doubting “Yes. No. | mean No. | mean yes. Ugh.” | run a hand through my hair and yank it through the tangled waves.
Harry just looks confused.
“Cagain?” He tilts his head. Yeah | can’t blhim. My answer was as clear as mud.
“I mean. Yes I'm alright, no nothing is wrong. Also no | didn’t- not hear your question and yes I will go out with you sometime.” | rush the last few words before | can chicken out. Why is this so hard? How does Harry do it? Askingout all the tand getting rejected must suck! I'm nervous about being rejected and Harry has made it pretty clear that he’s interested. Although | suppose I'm more concerned about long term rejection than being immediately turned down. Except... Now that I'm thinking about it, what if he DOES turndown. Maybe he’s been messing with me, maybe it’s all a joke. Maybe he has only been asking BECAUSE he knew that I would say no and there was no chance of him actually having to follow through with it? | wait anxiously for Harry's reaction. Is he going to laugh? Or act incredibly smug? Maybe he will actually just be excited. | think the only reaction | wasn’t prepared for was for him to stay completely calm. He givesa controlled smile and a tight nod.
“Great. I'll call you then. Goodnight.” He turns to leave. What the hell? Did he not wantto say yes? | have never seen him react to anything with less enthusiasm, ever. He was more excited sitting and doing his work quietly in the corner of my work room. He was more enthusiastic when he thought | was rejecting him. Is this a joke? “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” I blurt out to his back. Harry whirls around to face me, eyebrows up in his hairline.
“What? No! Why wouldn't | want to? Are you trying to take it back?” He demands, his mask of calm finally breaking.
“Uh... maybe? | thought you wantedto...” | trail off. Totally confused. He's usually so obvious, why did he have to pick NOW to act strange? “Why in the world would you think that? I think I've made it fairly clear what it is that | want. Haven't | been up front since the beginning?” Harry demands. | shrug.
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm“I guess, you just didn’t seem... Happy... | thought you would react differently.” | admit. In a 2/4 Cam 29- Dating and doubting single smooth movement Harry is suddenly in front of me. He wraps a hand around my back and pullsclose, threading his other hand into my hair and huggingtightly.
“Harry?” | ask nervously. Trying to ignore my racing heart and suddenly weak knees.
“Sorry.” He mutters into my hair. He holdsa second longer before letting go and stepping back.
“I'm thrilled you said yes, seriously. | just didn’t want you to change your mind so | was trying to be chill and leave before | do something stupid and scare you off. But | guess you already know that I'm not exactly a calm person. | should have realised you would think something was off. That's the last t| try to fake anything around you. Apparently I'm too good at acting. There's no point playing it cool if it just makes you insecure.” He smirks at 1. me.
“So, what changed your mind anyway? Ooh it was dinner, wasn’t it. Women love a man who can cook.” | open my mouth, not quite sure what answer is going to cout but Harry just holds up a hand to stop me.
“You know what, never mind. It doesn’t matter why. Just as long as you said yes!” He rocks back on his heels, practically bouncing in place. I roll my eyes. This is more like what | expected from him.
“Whatever. Just go halready. | assI'll see you tomorrow when you show up to botherat work.” | guess it’s a little hard to pretend that | don’t like him being around when | willingly spent most of my afternoon and evening with him today, on my day off. Still, it’s what | would normally say and | don’t think either of us would know how to respond if | suddenly started acting all nice. Harry grins at me.
“Of course, | would never miss a chance to harrass you. I'll see you tomorrow.” The sneaky bastard actually blowsa kiss before he practically struts away. Why am | oddly looking forward to tomorrow?