Fated To The Alpha (Ezra, Katya)

Fated To The Alpha by Jessica Hall Chapter 200

Sage POV

After everyone left I made more coffee and we sat out the back talking. Nora came over feeling a bit lonely without

Zane and her siblings were too busy playing their video games. We watched the kids play and Marabella eventually

fell asleep on the picnic rug and kat went and laid her down inside while we watched Kyan and Jonah sword fight

with some twigs they found while running around the backyard and along the treeline before Mateo called them

over, not liking them that close to the forest edge.

“We can always go out the front, the kids can climb the willow tree and it is shadier for them to play” I tell Mateo

and he nods, before scooping up Eziah who was ripping out handfuls of grass.

“Come on boys” Mateo calls out to them, waving them over. They stop what they are doing and race over to us

skidding to a  stop on the grass in front of me.

“Where has Ella gone?” Kyan asks, looking around.

“Ella?” I ask.

“Marabella, ” He says.

“She is sleeping, ” Mateo tells him.

“Come on, you both should get a drink, your little faces are so red” I tell them walking inside with them. I

make them a drink of cordial each before washing their faces with a wet cloth to try to cool them down.

“Want to climb the willow tree?” I ask them and they rush toward the front of the house. Following them, I

couldn’t see   them.   I was looking  up the stairs when I heard hushed voices making me look in the living room to

find Kat watching Marabella sleep in her fold out bed. Jonah and Kyan staring down at her.

“Why does she make that face?” Jonah asks at Marabella’s quivering lip as she sleeps.

“She can hear them?” Kyan says, reaching his hand out toward her.

“Boys, come on. Let her sleep ” I whisper to them when Kyan reaches down touching her cheek, black mist rushes

up his arm and his eyes turn black. The sight sends goosebumps up my arms and the room feels electrified   when

he suddenly pulls his hand back.

“There, all better now” Kyan says. “What did you do?” Kat asks him.

“Took it from her, they were scaring her” “What were?” Kat asks, looking at me.

“The shadows, come on, I want to climb this tree” Kyan says before pecking Marabella’s head.

“Sweet dreams, Ella” He says before grabbing Jonah’s arm and tugging him past me to the front door.

“What was that about?” Mateo asks, watching the boys run out the front door.

“Marabella   must have been having a nightmare, Kyan took it from her” I tell him.

“Yeah that kid does some spooky things”

“So does our daughter, ” Kat says with a soft laugh.

“ I   think he is sweet” I tell them and they both nod.

“Yes, he seems like a good kid, ” Mateo says before following them outside.

“Are you coming out with us?” I ask Kat.

“ I will wait for a bit to make sure she is alright,”

Kat says looking down at Marabella.

“Is   everything alright, you seem distracted?” I ask her when Mateo and Nora walk out the front door.

“Yeah, I am. I have a lot going on with the Moon Goddess dying, the Packs. My kids, everything feels like it becoming

too much”

“What about your mates, have you told them? I sensed some tension between you and Ezra”

“Yeah we are fine, Ezra worries, he thinks I am taking on too much, Mateo he is  great and good with the kids.

Honestly I feel like a shit mum. I feel like all I do is work and when I am not working, I a m exhausted or so stressed

I am cranky”

“Have you told them this?” I ask her and she shakes her head.

“Why not?”

“Because there are some things I  can’t speak about, there will be consequences if I do, it could change things and

make them worse”

“Ok, so what worries you most then?”

“My kids, becoming the Moon Goddess. Going back to when I first met Ezra, I never would have predicted how 

much my life would change, not that I hate it, they are great but sometimes I think I grew up too fast” She lets out

a breath.

“ Before I  was just  trying to go unnoticed and now everything I do is criticized and judged, there is no hanging out

with friends, no social life, no time for anything anymore. I didn’t think it would be this hard” She says looking 

down  at Marabella. I walk around the couch and sit on it.

“What’s hard, you can tell  me. I won’t  say anything to your mates Kat” I tell her and she chews her   bottom  lip

sucking it   into her mouth before looking at the ceiling.

“ I feel like an imposter , I don’t know who I am anymore. Everyone expects so much of me and I don’t know  if  I

can live  up  to  their expectations.  I feel like     I am failing everything and everyone” She  says, closing her eyes

and resting her head against the wall.

“ I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this.

When I found out I was pregnant. I had unrealistic expectations of what it would be like to have children,

unrealistic ideas on what it would be like to become Luna,  everything  I  thought  my life would be was wrong. But I

get it now, I was so angry at her for lying to me, for so long that’s all I could see was that betrayal, even with dad.

He kept what I was from me, so many secrets but I get  it  now. I know   they did  it   to protect me and having my

own kids and knowing what I know I want to protect them from it too, I get it. I get why they lied. I am   the same”

“What do you mean?” I ask her.

“I mean that  the secrets we keep trying to protect those we  love eat at you, and make you question whether you

are hurting them more by keeping it from them, but when you know the consequences of  telling  them,  you risk

losing  them. I get it now, I just wished I realised it sooner. I spent so long angry at her, angry at everyone that I

forgot for a second how much I loved her, what she sacrificed for me, who she was. Same with dad,  he left  me

and I hated that he did, but after mum died. I realised I only hurt myself by being angry at them, you never know

when the day will come when you have to say goodbye to them” She says before sniffling and wiping her nose.

“Have you said this to Ezra or Mateo?” She shakes her head.

“They don’t get it. Ezra and Maddox hated my mother even now, he doesn’t understand how I forgave her, he is

thankful for what she did, but he never forgave her. Mateo understands but still I put too much pressure on him

with the kids, I don’t need to burden him with me being a cry baby” She says tugging at the thin blanket to throw

over Marabella as she rolls on her side.

“Gosh  I  miss  her, she  was a  tough  woman, she would have kicked my ass, literally, for moping about and told

me to get my  shit  together but  that’s ok because she would be there to catch me when I fall. Now I have to catch

myself and everyone else and not being able to tell Ezra and Mateo certain things, it is so lonely” She whispers the

last words. Closing her eyes and rubbing her temples like she had  a headache before opening her eyes to look at

me, I could see her  pain, she wore  it so plainly,  I was surprised no one else could see it.

“I have lost the image of who I thought I was and who I thought I would be and now looking at everything that has

happened, I realise I am a stranger within myself. Trying to live up to everyone  else’s expectation and I  lost 

myself  in it” She says, I  felt  terrible for her.  I couldn’t imagine  what it would be like to be responsible for not just

a pack but every pack, while trying to raise her kids and be a good mate. It would be too much.

“Everyone has a breaking point, Kat. But when you reach it,  you just  have to  remember to toss the broken  pieces

away.  Don’t   let the   sharpness of them cut you  to pieces, don’t worry about what you can’t change or fix. Focus

on the things that matter, what’s right in front of you. Anger and hate is a heavy thing to carry, it does the carrier

more damage”

Kat laughs and her face turns red. “I am sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, here I am moping about being Queen

and a mother when you had to fight for your son, had been put through the worst situations ever and I am here

whining about my protected childhood and having to be an adult” She laughs, shaking her head.

“You don’t need to apologise Kat, your feelings aren’t invalid and you can’t imagine what I have been through just

like I can’t imagine what you have been through, or the pressures on you. I count myself pretty lucky, despite

everything. I would go through it  all again just to be here, right now. God only knows if I would have found Jonah or

Andrei if it didn’t have that life, so as much as it sucked I came out of it with two people I couldn’t imagine living

without” I tell her.

“You ever wonder what your life would be like if the one thing that changed everything didn’t happen?” Kat asks.

“Everyday, I always wonder about the what ifs. What if I didn’t convince my  family  to go  to Flower Meadows? But

you know what? It happened,   I survived it and I got my life back. A better one and I realise what happened was on

them, not me. What they did is on them and nothing I could have or should have done would change it. Sometimes

fate has a funny way of showing   us how much one can endure but once you endure it, you realise nothing will

break you, except yourself. You will realise that kat, one day you will wake up and the weight on your shoulders

won’t feel so heavy, it won’t feel consuming    and you will  realise  you can carry  it, because you carried a weight

so much heavier before   and  you are stronger because   of it” I tell her while hopping up.

“Come on, I will make more coffee. Mateo is right with the kids and we can steal Andrei’s monte carlo biscuits he

has hidden in the back of the pantry”

“I  love Monte Carlo’s, ” Kat says with a groan.

“Yeah, Casen brought them over this morning to replace the ones he stole last night” I chuckled while walking out

to the kitchen. Kat follows after me and I flick the kettle on.

“Thank you” Kat says and I nod to her.

“You can always talk to me, ” I tell her, grabbing some mugs down. Kat grabs the milk from the fridge and hands it

to  me. We were  in the middle o f making coffee when nausea rolled over me, making my  heart  race and beat

 frantically  in my chest. Sweat coated my forehead and my hands trembled.

“Sage?”

“Get the kids” I shrieked, fighting down the urge to throw up  as I tore off out of the house. Rushing out of the

house, I see rogues  running in from every direction. My scream is loud and bounces off the trees as well as

through the mindlink as I screamed for Andrei.

I look for  Jonah  and the kids spotting  them both in the tree, Mateo’s grey wolf fending off rogues as they come

out of nowhere and everywhere. Our pack   ran from the houses  and treeline   trying to help Mateo as Eziah

started crying under the tree where he sat. Shifting I jump into the fray, racing towards where the kids are.

“Get the kids to the packhouse and lock it down” I rush through the mindlink as Sierra sinks her teeth into a brown

blotchy coloured wolf. Kat races toward Eziah but is tackled at the last second, her wolf skidding across the ground

when it sinks its teeth into her neck forcing her to shift back. Her naked body was tossed and Mateo’s wolf

whimpered but he was the only thing standing in the way of the wolves getting to his son as I tried to get to his

position. Sierra kills a wolf as our warriors start taking them down, but there were so many, they came out of

nowhere and seemed to have no end as they kept zipping out of the trees toward us.

Being jumped from behind, I am shoved forward face planting the ground, Sierra turns quickly snapping at anything

that comes into reach when Kat barges into me. Kicking another wolf in the head as it tried to get me from my

blindspot. Her entire body saturated in blood and her neck was bleeding profusely as she continued  fighting, trying

to get to her son and the boys. Mateo is suddenly jumped by three wolves and he kills one quickly before the other

two pounce on him and knock him down. One of them ripped into his flank viciously. Sierra charges toward them

and she tackles one off  the top  of him tearing  into its neck.

Looking up into a tree Jonah and Kyan were perched on a branch both looking petrified, I see Kat get to the tree

and Sierra biting and clawing at anything that attacks when I hear Kat tell the boys to jump. I didn’t have time to

look to see if she needed help as I felt teeth sink into my tail,

ripping me back, claws digging deeply into my ribs and scratching down my hip.

“Andrei! ” I scream through the link, needing them to get here before we all end up dead. We were outnumbered

five to one easily and they just didn’t stop coming. I see Jonah out of the corner of my eye jump into Kat’s arms and

Kyan, both of them running toward the packhouse and to safety.

I was running towards them when Kat started to scream .

“No, no, no, not now” She screams, making me look at her. She had Eziah in her arms when she suddenly  

vanished, disappearing into thin air. I didn’t have time to think much of it when I was smashed  from  the side. Gun

fire  rings  out before I  hear someone scream. “Grenades!”