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This morning when I woke up I was feeling great, I had a wonderful day with Ayla. Her family loves me, all of them do. Kate had
even taken the time to pull me aside telling me she was so happy her sister found a mate who would do
everything to keep her happy and safe. But now as Ayla was sleeping snuggled up against my side after we let our wolves. take
over I doubt that very much.
She was great when I told her, we would need to take over the rule of the kingdom months, maybe even weeks after we
completed the matebound. This morning I remember hearing her alarm. At the time I just figured it was a mistake, an alarm she
has for her job on the weekdays that she forgot to turn off. I fell back asleep so quickly that I never noticed her sl*pping out of
bed to call my mother. There was no doubt she had called my mother, my trust in her still was 100 percent. What I feared was
that she called Mom because she was scared of becoming a queen. Wanting to up the training. Or maybe even just ask for some
reassurance without wanting to bother me.
Mother considers Ayla, a daughter, a friend, I never asked. Ayla how she feels about it. That seems a bit weird to ask but I know
they have fun during their videocalls. I have heard them giggling about. Mom will notice things and tell me Ayla would like that.
The other day she went to the bookstore to buy
herself a book Ayla recommended. So it makes sense that she would ask my mother for reassurance about becoming the
queen.
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Needing to force Ayla to seek someone else, reassurance because of the complications that stemmed from being with me. That
was not keeping her happy, that was allowing her to keep making me the happiest I have ever been. That’s not even all though,
stopping myself and/or Conan from marking her was getting increasingly difficult. Normally for things like this, I would ask Dad
for his advice. This time however I know deep down inside what the matter is. My royal blood, my Alpha blood, is begging me to
settle down and reproduce. Take the steps that are needed to care for my Kingdom, my Pack. It’s the same as to why I am this
protective and jealous of every interaction she has with another male. It was why I almost killed David with my bare hands for
touching my mate. Especially when I heard him scoff she was not truly mine yet since she did not bear my mark yet.
yet anyway. I heard her tell him that I wasn’t going to be single ever again. It was all the reassurance I needed. But the instinctual
part of me, my animalistic side wanted to claim her. Have the world see that she is mine, have everyone bow down at her feet as
the queen that she is.
Another problem that I have, the pack doesn’t really know her. Which is mostly my fault I was so deadset on showing Ayla how
fun being with me could be. How I am really the same as every average mate would be that we spend our entire time holed up in
my room. Partly because playing video games. with her no more than an arm’s length away was my happy place. Partly because
I had been downplaying the heaviness of the crown. Now my pack never saw their Luna to be, they do not know the story behind
her reluctance to mark each other. Hell in the beginning they knew she hadn’t officially
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accepted me and didn’t even know why. Some murmurs were
going around in the pack that she didn’t want to be our Luna. That she was weak and unworthy to become their Luna let alone
the queen of all werewolves.
Maybe, I wasn’t as suited to be a mate as I thought I was. Ever since learning about second chance mates, I dreamed about
finding my mate and being the perfect mate to her. I dreamed about making her happy, about never having anything to worry
about between the two of us. Sure I was still happy, happier than I have ever been. I went as far as to print out a picture of us
together, frame it, and put it on my nightstand so I could see her every morning after waking up. Now I was doubting if I had to let
her go. Maybe if she wakes up I should tell her I understand it if she rejects me. Because I would never ever reject her, she was
perfect to me. All the issues in our relationship were either on me or because of my title,
The fear of her agreeing with me that rejecting me would be for the best paralyzed me. It froze my heart so all I felt was the pain
of having ice pressed on my skin. Only this time it was pressing onto me from the inside out. That pain, that painful tingle when
your nerve ends freeze was spreading from the inside out. Tears streamed down my face until I cried so much that I didn’t have
tears left. They dried up on my cheeks because I didn’t find the strength to wipe them away. Time passed by and I had no idea
how long I had been sitting here staring into nothingness. Wondering if this was the last time I would feel my wonderful mate
snuggled up against me. Until I finally heard the sheets rustle, a sign that Ayla had woken up. And that I needed to face the
Her voice full of sorrow and pity as she asked me if I was doing okay was the first thing to shatter my heart. Finding the right
words was difficult, everything I thought about telling
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her felt wrong. So-so wrong, I ended up blurting out that I couldn’t do this anymore. Which to an extent was true, I could not
close my eyes to the truth any longer. I needed to ask the questions I had been avoiding because I feared the answer to
it.
Now I managed to almost push my mate into a panic attack. Wanting to comfort her, but still reeling from the fact that I was so
scared that my truth would be the nail in the coffin that drove he away from me I just wrapped her in my arm. Telling her how
much I loved her, how I never wanted to reject her. That I just feared that I would mess things up. It at least calmed her down,
which was a good thing, but hated the fact that she sat up straight to look at me. Because that meant less physical contact and
that was the one thing I was craving being able to touch my mate.
“Then what is the matter Griffin, you know I love you I told you becoming the queen isn’t something I fear. Because the only way
for me to become the queen is when you are the king. Don’t you see it, the only way for me to become the queen is with you by
my side. And with you by my side I can do everything” She tells me and I can hear in her voice how genuine she is.
It does soothe my nerves a little bit, it is not like I have any doubts about her ability to be the queen. Hell, I am so sure that I will
be a better king if I have her by my side. For she is the calm when I am losing control. She is the one who stops my social
battery from draining too much during these social events. Not to mention her intelligence and her intuitive wisdom.
“Darling, the last three times we made love I could barely stop myself from marking you against your will. And some of the
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Jaa
packmembers doubt you because they hardly see you. Since I am so set on trying to show you how good being with me can be.
Since I try so hard to make the weekend all about you” I tell her clasping her hand in mine like my anchor.
Hearing my pack doubts her chances something, her attitude, her expression even her b*dy all seem to harden before she
speaks to me again.
“Thank you for being honest with me Griffin, this changes everything and I know exactly what to do now. You’re right we can’t go
on like this” She tells me before taking a deep breath.
This will be it, this will be the moment the love of my life makes her final decision about being with me or not. And I hate the fact I
had to force her to make this decision way before the six-month mark we agreed to.