Rebirth in the Apocalypse: Third Time's a Charm



"Good, because I am warning you right now, I have chosen violence for the day," I said as I tilted my head so Chen Zi Han could kiss me on my temple, too.

"And that is a very good choice, Sweetness," said Liu Yu Zeng as he came over. "Violence is always a great choice." He came to a stop behind me and simply wrapped his arm around my waist.

The woman who had a few smartass remarks about my sleeping habits dropped her jaw as the three men surrounded me. I smirked at her just as Liu Wei cut off my line of light to give me a toe-curling kiss.

"Ready to forgive us?" he purred, his eyes staring into mine.

"That depends on who you four are willing to throw under the bus," I said with a smile as he stepped back and went to go stand beside Wang Chao.

"Take your pick," said Liu Yu Zeng as he gave me a kiss on my neck.

"At least I don't have to spread my legs for protection," snapped the woman whose name I didn't know and wasn't interested in learning. Humm… I think that Fucktrumpet would be a fantastic name for her until she up and died under mysterious circumstances.

Wang Chao let out a bark of laughter, and I turned my head to look at him. "You approve?" I mean, my backup was Twatwaffle, but it was really close.

"I think you chose the right one," Wang Chao assured me.

"Yay!" I said, completely ignoring the Fucktrumpet. I didn't have to justify or explain my relationship to anyone. Especially not someone that was so green with envy that she might have been the Grinch in another life. "Now, does someone want to tell me what is going on?"

"It is not for a civilian to concern themselves with," said Commander Huang Nian Zu, his chest pushed forward.

"Are you sure about that?" I asked, making sure that there was a look of surprise on my face. "You are sure that there is nothing for a civilian to concern themselves with?"

"Yes," said the commander with a nod.

"Perfect. Boys, you heard him. There is nothing we civilians can do to help him. I guess we just made this trip for no reason! Better pack up and go home."

The boys didn't say anything; they just turned around and headed back to the cabana. "Wait!" shouted the commander. The five of us turned to look at the man.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"They aren't civilians," said the commander, pointing to my guys.

"Yes, they are," I said in an assuring manner. "Maybe we should have that tattooed on your forehead. 'Not Military,'" I suggested to Liu Wei and Wang Chao. "It might cut down on a lot of the misunderstandings."

"I'll look into a tattoo parlor that will do that," smirked Liu Wei, knowing as well as I did that there was no way to get a tattoo done right now. Maybe a permanent marker would work better.

"They are not civilians, they were in the military," said Fucktrumpet. She really needed to learn when to keep her mouth shut. Every time she opened it, she kept saying something dumber and dumber. Dumber? Great! Now it's contagious!!

"Exactly," I said with a nod. "They were military. Then they retired, which by the very definition of retirement means that they are no longer in the military, and anyone that is not in the military is considered to be a civilian. Did you understand all that, or did you need me to draw you a diagram?"

Before the woman could open her mouth, one of the men behind her pulled her back and whispered something into her ear. She looked at me, and a malevolent grin appeared on her face. I matched it with one of my own.

"Wang Chao?"

"He said for her not to get so upset over someone that is little more than shark chum," said Wang Chao, the easy-going grin on his face no longer seen.

"Yet another dumb one. I thought that I wasn't involved because I was a civilian. Come on kids, you can't have it both ways. Am I chum or am I a civilian? Or does our military use civilians as chum? Because I am pretty sure that there are ethical, not to mention legal issues with that."

"How—" started the man before his commander spun around and gave him a look to shut him up.

"Really good hearing," I said with a smile. If the idiots thought that I was actually going to tell them the truth, then they had another thing coming. "Now, I chose violence. Which means that someone is either going to get stabbed or die. Do we have any volunteers?" I asked, staring directly at the Fucktrumpet in front of me.

"No?" I asked, surprised. I mean, I wasn't expecting a rush of volunteers, but at least one would have been nice. "How about you? Are you willing to bleed for your men?" I said slowly as I looked at the commander. He was willing to sacrifice me and my men for his team, so how far did that loyalty go?

"You are crazy, you know that right?" he said, looking at me. I thought about what he said seriously. "No, I am not crazy. The crazy voice hasn't happened yet, so I can't be crazy," I said in complete seriousness.

'I can come out to play if you want to…' said an eery voice that sounded like the female version of a famous clown.

"No, I don't want to play with you right now. Go back for later," I said out loud, a smile on my face. I mean, why not fuck with their heads every so often?

'Are you sure, because it seems like you are planning on going swimming with zombies, and sharks, and whales … oh my! That seems really crazy to me, but what do I know?'

You know what? I think I liked this voice. Well, I could do without the creepy clown part, but she seemed like a lot of fun.

'We're all a little mad here.'