Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“It’s delicious…”

“Meat is so delicious…”

“”It truly is…””

“”Yummy~~ yummy~~””

Fer, Sui, Dora-chan and Grandpa Gon were clearly savouring their Pork Bowl breakfast after yesterday’s Bread Diet.

For myself, I had a simple Japanese breakfast consisting of:

– Miso Soup with wakame seaweed and tofu

– Onigiri with pickled kelp

– Lightly Pickled Cucumber

– Dashimaki (Savoury Japanese-style omelette)

I looked at the crying faces of my familiars and said, “What’s wrong with you guys?”

The Gluttonous Quartet stared at me.

[1]

“What do you mean ‘what’s wrong’? Have you forgotten how you abused us?”

“I never imagined a punishment like the one from yesterday…”

“”Ugh, I’m going to have nightmares about it!””

“”Not yummy~~””

Well, well, well, looks like the Bread Diet turned out to be an excellent form of punishment. I will remember this.

“Isn’t it natural for bad behaviour to be punished? Otherwise, how would anyone learn anything? Isn’t the way you guys apologise this morning shows just how effective this punishment is?”

That’s right, I received a heartfelt apology from all four familiars. They even swear to ‘never cause another species to go extinct ever again’.

I had glared at them at that, waiting for something more.

Finally, Fer and Grandpa Gon, the elders of the Gluttonous Quartet added, “We shall pay close attention to our surroundings and never go overboard ever again.”

It was thanks to their heartfelt apology that breakfast reverted back to what it was.

“If any of them behave badly in future, I shall use this Bread Diet on them…” I muttered to myself

My familiars were understandably alarmed.

“P-please don’t, I cannot bear it, Master,” Grandpa Gon pleaded.

“Umu, those things were a little sweet in the beginning, but the more I ate them, I…”

Oho, even Fer is pleading too? His fur was all standing on end as he shuddered, obviously traumatised by the experience.

“”Ugh, it felt like the water was being sucked out of my mouth…””

“”Not yummy… bad…””

Oh no, Sui’s eyes were all wobbly~ I’m so sorry, Sui-tan, but your crying face is cute too~

“Oh my, do you find the Bread Diet worse than a vegetarian meal?”

“I do not favour plants, but Master’s cooking makes them taste good.”

“Umu, it’s still Master’s cooking…”

“”I like meat, but I can eat vegetables.””

“”Sui likes Aruji’s cooking best~~””

Ah, Sui-tan is squishing up against my leg in such a cute way~

I guess the horrible monotony of a Sliced Bread Only diet could be quite traumatising. Everyone was eating twice as much today, even though I used to receive some ‘Pork Bowl again’ complaints now and then, there was none of that today. In fact, everyone was eating their food with great gratitude.

There were so many seconds that I had to grill up more pork for them.

However, I’m fine with that.

If they ever misbehave again, they would be given the Bread Diet treatment.

“Haahh… so it was an unexplored territory, huh?”

“Hahaha, I guess it’s kind of difficult to get to…”

We were now at the Royal Capital’s Adventurer’s Guild.

Yesterday had been too chaotic for a proper interview, which was why I am now here at the Adventurer’s Guild with Guild Master Bram to give him more details about the caldera.

Along with Bram, Willem-san was there too. I made Fer and Grandpa Gon come with me so that they could also relay more information about the place. The two of them were reluctant, of course, but since the Bread Diet was still fresh in their minds, they were pretty docile.

From the details we gave, the two Guild Masters were able to narrow down the location to a mountain called Mt Jertova that was said to be extremely cold all ear round. Even high-ranking Adventurers rarely set foot on this unexplored region since high-ranking monsters are rampant at the base of this mountain.

“I can’t believe he went there…”

“Haha haahh…”

[1] I would like to stress that it was not ‘me’, but ‘them’ who crossed the line, but I guess that would only make the veins on the Guild Masters’ faces become even more prominent.

As for the location of this Mount Jertova, the mountain itself towered over the former Kingdom of Reijseger and the Kingdom of Krahsen which was east of Reijseger.

Haha… to think I actually travelled that far…

Oh yes, “Um, I have something to say…”

“… fine, just spit it out.”

“Uh, okay, that’s… you know the largest monster there? Um, so, I’m afraid my familiars were too enthusiastic and hunted them into… extinction…”

“… …”

“… …”

“I-in their defence, there were not many of those monsters around anyway. Only seven in fact, so, um…”

“Haahh…”

“There’s really not much we could do about that now, could we?”

“In the first place, that’s not a place where ordinary Adventurers could even excess, it’s just…”

“Just?” I prompted.

Willem-san coughed and said, “It’s just a shame, that’s all.”

“Ah, I see,” not really, but there’s no way I was going to say that!

[2] “While Elland was dismantling the [3] new dragon, we used a magic tool to appraise each part and found that its blood and internal organs have great medicinal effects. Not quite at the range of a dragon, but their parts contained enough magic to make low-grade elixirs.”

“I see, all I know is that their skin and meat are particularly tough…”

“Ahem, elixirs made from dragon parts could cure all kinds of injuries, and diseases and even regrow limbs, but from what we can figure out, the largest new dragon’s blood could be made into cures, but not regrow limbs,” explained Willem-san.

“Detailed verifications are still being done, but there is no doubt that as soon as word gets out, pharmacists from all over the kingdom would want to obtain this ingredient. Leviathan and dragon blood may be out of their reach, but many would probably be able to afford the blood of these new dragons.”

[3] I can’t get used to the fact that the locals are calling the dinosaurs ‘new dragons’ when to me, they were long-extinct ancient creatures. Still, let’s do as Romans do and call them that here. Demiurgos-sama admitted that he carelessly created these creatures on a whim when he was younger, we get to call it whatever we like, right?

“Haahh… I really wanted to purchase all of the blood and materials, but due to budget constraints…”

“Ahem, well, I have five more in stock, so, let me know when your budget allows it…”

Bram-san’s eyes widened and he asked, “Really?!”

“Yes, I have no plans of selling them quickly either, so, I’m willing to hold them for you,” I said.

“Oh, if that’s the case, I thank you kindly for this favour!”

Well, this was one of the first nice things that Guild Master Bram had said to me throughout my stay here. How nice to be talked to without sarcasm.

“Well, if we’re done here, I should go back and feed my familiars.”

“Umu, if you would wait a bit, the dismantling should be done soon. Why not stop by the warehouse on your way back?”

Bram-san really sounded unnaturally cheerful, looks like my offer to hold the five remaining Supersaurus for him really meant a lot.

“Alright, I’ll stop by,” I said.

I heard that Elland-san was determined to spend all night dismantling the Supersaurus. His skills are incredible despite his perverted nature, or were his skills so incredible due to his perverted nature?

Anyway, my party eventually reached the warehouse and we were greeted by a slightly mad-looking Elland-san who beamed at me under a pair of eyes. The shadows were so deep that it looked like someone punched him in both eyes. Wait, did someone punch him in both eyes?

“Mukouda-san! Welcome! The dismantling is done~!”

“Wow, I heard that you spent all night on it…” I said delicately.

“Of course! Why would I waste time and postpone doing something so fun!?”

“I wish you’d be half, no, even a quarter as enthusiastic about your regular work,” muttered Moira-sama.

Poor Moira-sama also has dark circles under her eyes. She must have spent all night monitoring this person to make sure that he did not do anything too suspicious.

Thank you for your hard work, Madam Elf.

“Then, shall I start…?”

“Go ahead!”

I collected the most important meat first, of course, followed by skin, bones, vats of blood, pots containing heart, liver etc and finally the teeth and fangs, followed by claws…

One by one, each item went into my [Item Box].

As I picked up the last claw…

“Um, Elland-san? Could you please let go?”

“… …”

“Your hand… please let go of the claw…”

“… …”

Elland-san was staring at me with wide, pitiful eyes, but I felt no happiness at being stared at by a male Elf, no matter how beautiful they are. You’re just an uncle trying to act cute!

“Hey! Let go!”

Moira-sama came to my rescue by beating up Elland-san.

“B-but, Moira-sama~~”

“Do you even have the money to buy that, hah?!”

“Th-th-that…”

I know that he had spent all of his savings buying random Leviathan [4] parts the other day. Even so, he was still staring at me with that pitiful gaze.

Remembering how happy Bram-san had been, I said, “I don’t plan on selling these things any time soon, so I’ll hold this for you until you have the money, alright?”

Elland-san’s face immediately brightened.

“Truly?!”

“Y-yeah,”

“Mukouda-san! You are indeed my best friend~! The bestest friend forever! I will definitely save up enough money for that claw!”

Ugh, I really don’t want to be associated with this person…

“Come, Moira! It’s time to work! Let’s go on missions! I need money to buy those materials!”

“What the heck? Hey! Stop right there!”

Good luck, Moira-sama.

The two curious pair were soon out of sight, so I left too.

“Oi, you’re all rather quiet today,” I commented.

“Of course,” Fer grumbled.

“No sense catching that fellow’s attention,” muttered Grandpa Gon.

Well, it’s not like I don’t understand that feeling.

[Gumihou: The ending is a bit weird, crossed out the final line]

[1] Reworded things a bit

[2] Combine fragmented information into something more coherent

[3] The literal words for dinosaur is ‘恐竜’ is ‘terrifying dragon’ or ‘kyouryu’. Here, Mukouda was saying that the word ‘ryu’ was in ‘kyouryu’ so it could probably be considered a type of ‘ryu’ or dragon in this world.

To make a smooth transition, use the term ‘New Dragon’ for ‘Dinosaurs’ whenever the locals are talking about this monster.

[4] It was ‘dragon’ in the original text, but considering how they had just taken a Leviathan apart, it was probably a typo.