I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

Xiao Qin wrapped her arms around the class leader. It seemed like she was trying to force the class leader to be her girlfriend to prove her manhood.

How childish! Your thinking must still be stuck in the eighties! Nowadays, girls can have girlfriends just like boys can have boyfriends!

The embarrassed class leader tried unsuccessfully to push Xiao Qin away. I couldn’t stand watching any longer and said to Xiao Qin:ʀᴇᴀᴅ ʟᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs ᴀᴛ N(o)vᴇl(ꜰ)ire.nᴇt

“Just because you’re flat-chested doesn’t mean that you’re a man! Even Chun Ge is flat-chested, right? Breasts, Adam’s apples, and such were called secondary sex characteristics in our health class! In comparison, primary sex characteristics are what really matter! You don’t have…”

I wanted to say “You don’t have a penis”, but since the class leader was there, I changed it to “You don’t have a thing down there!”

The drunk Xiao Qin didn’t hesitate and pulled open her pants slightly at the waist and glanced down, then immediately looked annoyed:

“Huh? Where did it go! Did you steal it?!”

Steal my ass! Can it even be stolen? Or are you talking about the sock you used to imitate a penis when we were younger?

Regardless, it wasn’t a good idea to leave Xiao Qin, who believed she was a boy, behind in a public place. After the class leader regained her composure and parked her bicycle, she gave me a wink. Then she suddenly started tickling Xiao Qin’s waist to expose her weaknesses, and I took the opportunity to grab Xiao Qin’s hands.

Xiao Qin, who had her hands restrained, wanted to resist, but she succumbed to the combined effects of the alcohol and pressure from us. She opened her mouth, yawned exaggeratedly, then leaned back and ended up falling asleep while leaning against the class leader.

The class leader and I exchanged glances. We weren’t sure how to deal with Xiao Qin, who had fallen asleep with a cute smile, because we were afraid she would return to her aggressive state once she woke up.

After a discussion, the class leader helped Xiao Qin onto the back seat of her bicycle, and I started pushing it aimlessly.

“Class leader, aren’t you supposed to go back for the evening self-study session?” I said. “Why don’t you head back to school first? After I’ve taken care of Xiao Qin, I’ll return the bike to you.”

The class leader shook her head, “If you don’t have someone holding her from behind, Xiao Qin might fall off. Besides, what exactly is going on with her…”

I explained about Xiao Qin’s gender identity disorder in more detail than before, even mentioning that Xiao Qin used to dress up as a boy and even got into fights with me as a child —— though I left out the part where it was only her giving me one-sided beatings.

“That’s why when I took a shower at Xiao Qin’s place…”

The class leader probably recalled when she first took a shower at Xiao Qin’s place where Xiao Qin pulled back the shower curtains and looked at her. She felt like Xiao Qin’s gaze was ‘like a boy’s’, but it was embarrassing bringing up this story in front of me again, so she stopped halfway.

While we were talking, Xiao Qin, who had been lying on the bike’s back seat, suddenly woke up. Her alert eyes clearly meant that she had been pretending to sleep! How sly!

Xiao Qin placed her hands on the seat for support and like an Olympic gymnast, she used it as a pivot and performed a forward roll to land in front of the bike!

“Hmph! So you thought I was asleep and the two of you shared an intimate conversation… shameless!”

Xiao Qin accused us with a tone as if she had caught us in the act.

“It’s not an intimate conversation…” I said and scratched my head in confusion.

“Xiao Qin, snap out of it! You’re a girl!” the class leader also shouted.

“Shut up! Slut!” Xiao Qin pointed to the class leader and called her an unimaginable word, “I have to take care of some business, so stay here! Don’t seduce the wild donkey! Don’t cuckold me!”

Um, I don’t think the class leader has any reason to seduce me? I don’t even think it’s the class leader’s personality to seduce someone? Also, why do you speak as if the class leader is already your wife?

The class leader was naturally very embarrassed after being scolded like this by Xiao Qin.

“Xiao Qin, calm down, I know a few hangover remedies. Shall we go back to school? Or we could also go to Ye Lin’s house.”

My house was about the same distance from the subway station to the school, actually it was even a bit closer.

“Really?” Xiao Qin was furious and her eyes turned red, “I just said I was leaving and you’re already planning to have an affair with the wild donkey at his house? Just you wait! I’ll be back to catch you two in the act! If I do, I’ll drown both of you in a pig cage!”

Speaking of which, the Little Tyrant really had a traditional way thinking. Being drowned while in a pig cage was an ancient form of punishment. but it was still on the tip of her tongue despite being born in modern times.

Xiao Qin was clearly afraid of the two of us committing ‘adultery’, but she still turned and ran into an alleyway. Who know what she was in a rush to do.

“Class leader, you can go back to school first.” I said to the class leader while already running after Xiao Qin, “As you can see, Xiao Qin is all over the place once she gets drunk. I’ll follow her until she sobers up and we don’t really need too many people.”

“I guess that’s the only way…” The class leader sighed after taking her bike from me, “I need to get back to manage the evening self-study session. Keep an eye on Xiao Qin and don’t let her get into any danger.”

“Don’t worry.” I waved to the class leader to reassure her, “Xiao Qin and I have grown up together, I roughly understand her actions, and I won’t let her get into danger. After all, she’s my future step-sister…”

Despite saying this, I didn’t stop walking and quickly caught up to Xiao Qin’s figure.

If you run, then you’ll sweat, and sweating can help you sober up. I had hoped that while being chased by me, Xiao Qin would soon revert back to being a ‘kind childhood friend shoujo cat maid’.

However, I had a bad feeling when I encountered a young man sitting on the ground almost scared out of his wits. I asked him what happened, and he, trembling, told me that a girl had snatched the beer he had just bought from the convenience store and almost ruptured his testicle.

What’s this situation? Xiao Qin, are you Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Your Little Tyrant persona knows how to find alcohol to sustain himself? Just two “alcohol chocolates” and you’ve transformed for over an hour, so does that mean you won’t revert back to yourself today if you drink an entire bottle of beer?

I tracked Xiao Qin all the way to the ruins of a demolished building.

Xiao Qin squatted in the middle of the ruins in a posture that wasn’t very ladylike and rummaged through the broken bricks and tiles with a stick. Fortunately, she wasn’t wearing a skirt; otherwise, she would have definitely exposed herself.

The sight of the ruins brought back memories from my childhood. Every summer, the kids from our compound would catch crickets and fight them against each other, and the ruins were a prime location for finding them.

The Little Tyrant also joined in the cricket battles with everyone. However, perhaps due to her lack of patience, the crickets she caught were never very strong, and they were defeated by mines several times. As revenge, she sneaked a stray cat into my house through the window while I was out, and there was nothing left of the formidable crickets but cricket legs after the cat’s visit…

Just thinking about it makes me angry! What are you doing now? Catching crickets? But it’s already autumn! Don’t you know the saying: “Autumn grasshoppers don’t hop for long”?

Suddenly, I realized that crickets might also fall into the category of “Wim” that Xiao Qin fears. But the drunk Xiao Qin awoke her Little Tyrant persona and even her androphobia was cured (since she believes she’s a male), so naturally, she wasn’t afraid of Wim anymore.

This area, that was left with only ruins and broken walls, was deserted apart from Xiao Qin and me. Unlike the old days, parents didn’t feel safe letting their children play, catch insects, or engage in other risky activities in theses places anymore. Nowadays, kids stay at home with countless video games to play.

“Xiao Qin!” I slowly approached her from behind, “Have you had enough fun? If you’re done, let’s go home! Winter is just around the corner, so there won’t be any crickets here!”

Xiao Qin ignored me and continued to pry open a large red brick with her stick.

“Who said I was looking for crickets? I was actually looking for centipedes and planned to put one in your collar…”

Xiao Qin picked up a large red and black centipede with the distinctive laugh of a drunk, then started walking towards me with an evil grin.

Damn! Even I’m a bit scared of such a big centipede! Hurry up and let it go! Its family must be worried sick!

“Don’t come any closer!” I made a defensive posture, “If you really intend to stuff that centipede into my clothes, I won’t be polite anymore! I… I’ll grab your chest!”

“We’re both men, so what if you grab my chest? Also, you’d have to catch me first!” Xiao Qin carelessly swung the centipede in her hand, and it made me feel like the centipede was about to cry.

She had a point. Unlike Gong CaiCai, her chest was really small, so it would indeed be a challenge for me to grab it while being careful not to let the centipede fall into my collar.

I’ve always had a slight fear of centipedes ever since I watched the episode about the centipede monster in “Journey to the West” when I was young. I saw them as poisonous creatures similar to snakes, but Xiao Qin held the tail of the centipede as if she had found its ‘Achilles tendon’ and rendered it unable to fight back or escape.

“Stop it! Stop holding that!” I tried to stop Xiao Qin from coming closer, “Why would a girl be holding a large centipede! You don’t look like a girl at all right now!”

“Damn it! I’m not a girl!” Xiao Qin’s face was even redder after drinking another bottle of beer. She held the centipede in her right hand and slapped her chest with her left, “I’m a real man!”

“A real man, my ass!” I retorted angrily, “You just saw the training bra you’re wearing! Does a real man wear that?”

Xiao Qin shrank back, “That… that’s not a bra! It’s just that the tank top looks small because I’m so big and strong!”

She still refused to accept reality? It seems like it was necessary to remind Xiao Qin of some more things.

“Hmph, even if you’ve selectively forgotten certain things, you should still remember what happened this morning, right? Why did you chase after that robber this morning? Wasn’t it because you wanted a reward from me? It’s because if you could collect ten thousand stars, I would make you my girlfriend again…”

My last words made Xiao Qin’s face turn so red it looked like it was about to bleed.

“Nonsense! How full of yourself can you be! Even if I were a girl, which I’m not, I would never be interested in you! Also, I would never participate in some star reward program and be made a fool by you!”