A Wish to Grab Happiness

Volume 6, Chapter 125: Reliance

“…You must keep mine and his endeavor a secret. I trust your good sense.”

Largud Ann recalled the command given by the Saint with her eyes closed.

Even though Ann protested, the Saint decided to pursue Lugis and headed for Belfein. After long moments of doubt and fear, Ann finally believed in the Saint’s judgment. She accepted the fact that this endeavor was necessary for the Saint. Ann truly believed in Matia, no matter how much she struggled.

Therefore, Ann obediently received Matia’s words just before departure.

Ann slowly opened her eyes while twitching her eyelids. In front of her stood someone with silver eyes and someone with black hair.

「Ann. He is nowhere to be found in Garoua Maria. You see, I don’t want to disrespect you, but…You must tell us where he is. That’s all I ask for.」

“No way.” Ann quivered her mouth upon hearing the words that Caria professed much faster than usual.

“Why does it feel as if her tone restrained me to the wall of the corridor? And why does Caria’s silver eyes show such ferociousness like birds of prey?”

When Ann moved her eyes away from Caria’s line of sight, her eyes were caught by Filaret’s bottomless black eyes. Actually, Ann felt much more scared of Filaret than Caria. Ann still viewed Caria as a threat. Ann felt terrified of her sword technique; however, Caria was someone whose emotions were transparent. In other words, Ann clearly understood Caria’s feelings and intentions since she was someone who did not hide her true persona.

Filaret was the contrary. The emotions hidden in her heart were buried in her eyes. While Caria’s behavior was predictable, Filaret’s behavior was a mystery. Ann did not know what Filaret would say or do.

In fact, Ann firmly believed that leaving them alone could cause terrible consequences. No mistake about it.

To put it plainly, Ann was in trouble. She was supposed to be the one to protect her Lord, Saint Matia, and Lugis.

「About that…Even if you ask me, I don’t know where Lord Lugis is…」

Ann’s field of vision became muddy as she tried to forcibly speak some words out of her mouth. “As long as I give them enough time, it is possible that the two of them will come home sooner than expected.” Ann had no choice but to hold on to that little hope.

Nonetheless, her words were too fragile to cover up the whole scheme.

「Is that so? Then, your Lady Saint…Where is Matia? I would like to meet her right now.」

Filaret spoke such words while narrowing her eyes.

The sight of a thin thread being cut off came to Ann’s mind. “This is no good. Filaret and perhaps Caria too, are beginning to grasp most of the situation. They were here to confirm their suspicions.”

In fact, Ann did not know the exact whereabouts of Lugis. She only knew that he headed for Belfein since that was Matia’s allegation. He could be just dozing somewhere. However, Ann understood that it was unlikely that he just dozed at some random place since he had not returned for two consecutive nights.

A grudge against Lugis grew in Ann’s heart.

Ann knew that she shouldn’t behave this way. All she had to do was believe in Saint Matia. However, the bottom of Ann’s heart was bursting with unwanted emotions.

“Why does Lugis always behaves in mischief? Why does he only do selfish actions?”

Ann heard people say that when a person fell in love with someone, his or her heart got torn in two. One piece remained intact, but the other was given to the person they fell in love with. Lugis must have stolen the half bodies of both Caria and Filaret. As if he held them with reins. Of course, one had the option of cutting off that long rotten neck, or one had the option of accepting everything.

Ann knew that it was bad news when someone took away the half of the other person’s heart. Ann felt that being bound by reins was not an option for her. Indeed, for Ann, love was a very bothersome thing. It always caused great damage to everyone around it.

Caria, Filaret and Lugis were unmistakable heroes, even though they experienced the love of mediocre humans. “Extremely annoying”, Ann thought. She was clearly bothered by the bad impact of this absurd love. Ann was speechless.

Ann tightened her quivering lips and held her voice forcibly as she tried to fulfill the Lady Saint’s life command.

—

「Actually…Saint Matia is now on her way to visit the surrounding villages.」

Ann muttered those words while moistening her lips. “I see. I got a rough idea with just those words.”

“No doubt about it. Ann is trying to protect Matia.”

Even Filaret, who was still inexperienced in government affairs, could understand that much. No matter how much one thought about it, this was not the time to make visits at villages when Garoua Maria’s affairs weren’t totally settled down. Garoua Maria, the main base of the Heraldic religion, was not yet consolidated.

There were many governmental systems, organizational structures, arrangements with merchants, and the maintenance of the whole city. Matia was in charge of all political affairs. Such an important person as Matia wouldn’t leave her post to visit some random villages. Filaret knew for sure that Matia would use Ann and her subordinates for such visits instead. A woman like Matia was calculating and cunning. She was smarter than others around her were. She would not go to visit some villages by herself. Definitely. Ann was lying.

“So why is Ann lying about the whereabouts of her Saint? That’s because Ann thinks it’s a bad thing to tell us. Ah, I see. Saint Matia is with Lugis.” Filaret understood that Ann’s concealment was probably due to that truth.

“There are many places where those two could go.” However, Filaret knew Lugis’ nature, which meant that he only went to one place.

Power built up from Filaret’s tinny finger to her thumb. Her magical power went through.

“Was it not enough?”

“I returned the favor I received from Lugis during the battle of the walled city of Garoua Maria. I thanked him for helping me before. He showed me the ideal way to pursue a life with meaning. I grabbed his hand and I do not regret it. In fact, I deeply appreciate it. I felt that he thought the same way as I did.”

“He even worked harder during the civil war of the Hanging Gardens of Ghazalia. He lived up to his expectations. He showed off his power, and proved to be comparable to the geniuses around him.”

“So I waited for him. I truly expected this time to be the right time. I thought it was time for him to take my hand.”

…I want you to follow me. And I want to rely on you from the bottom of my heart.

Filaret gritted her back teeth so strongly that they almost cracked. Her expectation that never came true conveyed so much pain that she could hardly withstand it. She felt as if numerous needles had pierced her heart. All she wanted was to hear those words coming out from Lugis’ mouth. Filaret waited for him to accept her.

“Lugis probably doesn’t think of me at all. Even though I threw everything away to be with him. I gave my all. Yes, I rushed to him and relied on him.”

“How frustrating, heartbreaking and regrettable.”

“I relied on Lugis. Therefore, I want him to rely on me too. I know this is just a wish of mine. Even so, oh, does God blame me for still wishing for it? Is it meaningless to have such selfish expectations while knowing that they will be betrayed?”

“I know the world isn’t interested in me. I don’t care about that anymore. I just want Lugis to turn to me, even if the whole world forsakes me.”

“Again, he couldn’t take my hand. On the contrary, Lugis not only ignored me but Caria as well and decided to share the path with Saint Matia.”

“I don’t like it. I hate that he stopped choosing me. I don’t want to be abandoned. I don’t want to be disappointed. I was born into the prestigious Volgograd family, and I know how intolerable it is to be abandoned. I don’t want to feel that ever again.”

Filaret’s black eyes were darker. Her frosty, cold head told her about Lugis’ whereabouts.

There was no point in hesitating anymore.