Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“Haah~ this coffee is really good~”

It was a lovely peaceful evening.

A nice, peaceful-

“Oi, I want more dessert!”

Fer’s voice cut into my peaceful morning. I looked at him. He had cream around his mouth, which he was currently licking up with his long tongue. He just had five Cream Puffs. Five Premium Limited Edition Cream Puffs made with Hokkaido mascarpone cheese from Fujiya’s special Cheese Fair line.

Aside from the Cream Puffs, there were Baked Cheesecakes, No-bake Cheese Cakes, Cheese Pies, Tarts and Soufflé Cheesecakes on sale, but I ended up choosing Cream Puffs for our dessert because, well, it looks really delicious.

Even so.

“What more dessert? You don’t get seconds for dessert,” I said curtly.

“Tch, how stingy.”

“These aren’t things you can eat too many in one sitting,” I lectured.

“Master, is that really all?”

“”No more~? No more~?””

“”Eh, it’s delicious, but I still prefer puddings.””

“What the… do all of you want seconds?” I asked, surprised because this was actually the first time that all of my familiars put in a request for seconds when it came to dessert. Well, by request, I meant… you know what I mean.

[1] In fact, they were all staring at the half-eaten Cream Puff on my delicate china plate. I had been savouring my Cream Puffs slowly along with my good coffee while my familiars gobbled theirs like they were popcorn. Well, I supposed for Fer and Grandpa Gon, these Cream Puffs were probably not enough…

Back to the topic at hand.

These Cream Puffs were nothing like the usual mass-produced, slightly stiff choux pastry. Not that those aren’t delicious, but mass-produced stuff can’t beat speciality artisan shops when it comes to premium pastries.

The filling was a special cream made with mascarpone cheese and something else, which was leagues apart from the standard pastry cream+flavouring that could be bought from a standard supermarket or convenience store.

“You are not meant to fill your stomach with dessert, eat in moderation,” I said before taking a final bite of my Premium Mascarpone Cheese Cream Puff and leaning back to enjoy my coffee.

Ahhh~

I bought this brand on a whim, but it turned out to be a hit.

I should get some more later.

While I was busy contemplating various coffee brands I had ever tried in my life, I heard someone knock at the door.

It was already quite late at night, who could it be?

Nighttime knocking at the door rarely brings good news.

“Yes?” I said, opening the door to see Bartel. “What is it?”

“A message from the Adventurer’s Guild. A representative from the Adventurer’s Guild and Doran’s Vice Guild Master have arrived.”

In short, Moira-sama and Ugor-san have arrived.

“What? They’re here? I mean, are they at the door?”

“Not yet, they are on their way. We received a message from a runner. They have arrived in Carelina and are now at the Guild.”

“Ah, yes, I see,” Guild politics and general etiquette would require them to register their presence at the Guild first before conducting their business in the city. Something that a certain dragon maniac obviously did not bother to do. “Right, I understand. Uh, return to your post. I shall let everyone know.”

“Very well, I shall return at once,” said Bartel with a little salute.

After waving him away, I rushed to the dining room and cried, “Guess what, everyone!”

““Yes!! Will he be gone by tomorrow? Or maybe even tonight?!””

“Umu, umu, once he leaves, I no longer have to feel his disgusting presence any more.”

“Wow, that’s harsh, you two. Even though he’s been here for a few days now, it’s not like you’ve actually seen him at all,” I said, trying to be the reasonable person here.

That’s right, aside from that one meeting on the first day, I had not caught sight of that deranged Elf. Looks like Jorgen was serious about keeping a close watch over that fellow.

Apparently, Elland-san had made several escape attempts out of sheer desperation but the High Elves’ barrier was just too strong for him. Also, after each escape attempt, he would be given a stern lecture that lasted hours. Not only that, but since he was still so ‘energetic’ according to Jorgen, the High Elves made sure to pile on more work on him. At the end of the day, Elland-san would be too exhausted from the hours-long lectures and work to even think about moving from his bed, let alone try another escape attempt to sneak over to peep at Grandpa Gon and Dora-chan.

Good job!

I mean, I felt a bit sorry for Elland-san, but good job!

“Umu, although we have not actually laid eyes upon that vile creature, I still felt uneasy to know that he is so close to us,” said Grandpa Gon.

“”That’s right! That’s right! I don’t want to be in the same city as that creepy Elf!””

[2] “Aren’t you overreacting? It had been close to a week, but he did not managed to escape even a single time. Also ‘vile creature’ is a bit…”

“”Oi! He escaped from that Moira person and ran over here on his own just to harass us. Who knows what he could do!!?”” Dora-chan was clearly agitated and so was Grandpa Gon.

Fer’s flippant attitude was not helping at all.

Not to mention, it’s not like Moira-sama or Ugor-san were lax in their monitoring. It was just that Elland-san’s brand of stubbornness went beyond the regular hard-headedness. I doubt that Elland-san was particularly sneaky or clever, he was just… too stubborn for his own good.

I was just pondering over the mystery of Elland-san’s mind when the door opened and two people stepped in. It was Moira-sama and Ugor-san.

“Please accept our apologies.”

“I apologise for my stupid Guild Master.”

Both of them had their heads bowed and I quickly stood up to wave my hands awkwardly at them.

“No, no, please don’t apologise. I mean, it’s not your fault that he’s… you know.” I searched for something to say and in the end said, “Ah, have you had dinner yet?”

“Please don’t worry bout it, we wish to collect that idiot as soon as possible,” said Ugor-san grimly.

“That’s right, apologies for the inconvenience caused, Mukouda-san.”

“Ah, ahem, if only a certain someone has even a fraction of your sense of responsibility…” I said with an awkward laugh. “Um, if you can’t stay for dinner, how about a little tea to unwind? I’m glad to say that things are under control right now.”

[1]

“Under control?”

“Really?”

Both of them looked sceptical, and I can’t blame them. However, I did manage to persuade them to sit down for tea. I served them one of my pricier black teas from [Net Super].

“This tea is wonderfully fragrant,” said Moira-sama. “I don’t believe I had any tea as good as this in my life.”

“Same here, it’s really good,”

Well, at least the two of them seemed to like the tea, enough to calm down considerably from the previous tenseness. Once the tea was drunk, both stood up.

[1]

“Now, where is that idiot?” Ugor-san smacked a fist into his palm.

“Ahh, Elland-san is not in this house, he’s being kept under surveillance in one of the houses in the back.”

“Well then, let’s head over there,” said Moira-san grimly.

[3] “Hold on,” I said, hurrying to stop them before they could move away. “I have something to say.”

The two of them stopped. Both looked a little dismayed and shame-faced, but I had no intention of scolding them. Sure, Elland-san escaped their charge, but he’s an actual S Ranker former Adventurer with the determination of that hideous Black Thing. So I cannot fully blame them.

“Ahem, that is, uh, what I would like to say is that I’m sure it must have been difficult to keep an eye on Elland-san, right?”

They both nodded.

“What I would like to say next is this. Elland-san arrived a few days ago, but my people managed to restrain him. Thanks to them, my dragon familiars were able to live a relatively peaceful life without having to face him.”

“Hoh~? For real?” Ugor-san sounded amazed.

“Goodness, I would like to meet these people and find out how they manage to keep that person under control,” said Moira-sama. She sounded so cheerful that I almost felt sorry for Elland-san.

I had already decided earlier that I would tell them about the High Elves staying at my place, especially Jorgen. In the first place, since Willem-san already knew about them, it was not a stretch to imagine that the higher-ups within the Guild should know too. More importantly, I really don’t want to have so many couples tramping around my property being all unnecessarily lovey-dovey [4].

Thus, I spent the next five minutes talking up Jorgen-san and his friends about how they had, ahem, looked after Elland-san…

“Goodness, what I would give to have them come with me to Doran and monitor that idiot’s every move!”

“Indeed, to think that the High Elves have the ability to control that person’s behaviour to the point of not causing trouble for so many days… that’s so incredible!”

[4] Nice! My secret plan to have them take some of the High Elves off my hands worked!

“Ahem, although they are technically under my employ, I only hire them on a piecemeal basis. In that, I only pay them when I have large prey to be dismantled. Not to mention, there are six of them staying with me now. Naturally, it would be quite troublesome if all of them went with you, but I believe I could spare Jorgen and his wife, seeing as he is Elland-san’s uncle. I’m sure he would be glad to have his relatives nearby.”

“Ah, indeed, Mukouda-san… you are a very thoughtful person,” said Ugor-san with a smirk.

“Very thoughtful indeed. It makes perfect sense for people to desire their family nearby, fufufu~” Moira-sama’s laugh sounded a bit sinister…

“Please, do introduce us to this Jorgen person. I’m sure we will get along really~ well~”

Well, well, looks like Moira-sama and Ugor-san are both in high spirits. I get it though. Therefore, even though I felt a teensy bit bad for Elland-san, I still happily led these two to where Jorgen was now staying.

Eguchi Ren: This is the final upload for year 2022!

Gumihou: You’ve worked hard, Eguchi-san!

[1] Add details

[2] Instead of having Fer vomiting out his agreement, make him be an asshole

[3] The dialogue for the segue was a bit too stiff and unnatural, reworked it. Also, ‘Black Thing’ is Mukouda’s euphemism for roach, lol

[4] Add more reason for why he would want the High Elves to leave.