Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Eguchi Ren: Today’s chapter is a little long

Gumihou: Indeed, it is over 3000 words long…

“Hmm, I don’t like to admit it, but this steak thing is really good…”

The Ancient Dragon was gulping down top-grade, higher-level Dungeon Cow steaks drizzled with garlic-soy steak sauce.

“Humph, to think you actually became the temporary familiar of the human you called ‘tiny’.” Fer was nearly snarling as he ripped into a basic Garlic Steak seasoned with salt and pepper.

“Now, now, there’s no need to lose your temper. I’m only going to be his familiar for 300 years. Speaking of which, aren’t you the ones being unfair? You’ve been this fellow’s familiar for far longer than I, so you must have eaten more such delicious food, right?”

“”Ou, yeah! The Mizutaki thing we had last time was awesome!”” said Dora-chan.

“Umu, yes it was good on its own, but adding a spicy seasoning called yuzu pepper elevates its deliciousness even more.”

“”Everything Aruji make is yummy~~ But, but Sui likes fried things best~! Crunchy~~”” Sui chimed in, bouncing happily in place.

“”Yeah! Fried bird is yum! Crispy on the outside and juicyyy inside~~!!””

Dora-chan, you’re drooling.

You’ve already eaten how many steaks, but you’re still drooling over Karaage?

“Umu, umu, I agree. It’s best when you stuff a lot inside your mouth and crunch through all the meaty and crispy juiciness…”

Ugh, even I am drooling at Fer’s descriptions…

“Hoohh… looks like everyone agrees over this fried food thing. I must try it as well. Master, make fried food for our next meal, please.”

So, I have been promoted from ‘little human’ to ‘Master’ with a capital ‘M’?

“Kuh, I hate to agree with that guy, but yes, fried food.”

“”Us too~~!!””

“Yes, yes, I understand. I’ll make it once we’re out of the dungeon.”

Speaking of which…

“Hey, are you guys full now? I barely ate you know?”

[5a] There was a chorus of ‘yeah’ and shockingly ‘I’m full’.

Well, let’s hope that doesn’t change…

Anyway, since they all admitted to being full, it’s time to give myself something decent to eat.

By decent, I mean rice!

Specifically, Garlic Fried Rice!

Fufun, I picked up one of the pans of garlic-flavoured tallow and heat it up over a low heat, once the oil was hot enough, I added a handful of chopped garlic. When the scent of garlic filled the air, I added plain rice and began to toss it.

Once the rice had loosened and were coated in the fragrant tallow, I added a little sun-dried salt and milled black pepper.

Then, I pushed the rice to one side of the pan and splashed on a little soy sauce before tossing the rice one last time. Making some final seasoning adjustments with salt and pepper.

The trick to a good fried rice is knowing when to turn up the heat. The final tossing should be done on high heat, after the soy sauce had been added.

Finally, I plated the fried rice and topped it with slices of Garlic Steak.

“Woah, looks delicious~”

Check out my super luxurious Premium Garlic Fried Rice with Garlic Steak…

“Hey, I thought you guys are full?”

Indeed, before I could properly enjoy my meal, I found myself being stared at by four gluttons.

“What’s that?”

“It smells delicious.”

““We haven’t had that yet…””

““Master, unfair~””

“This? It’s just fried rice, there’s barely any meat in it. Didn’t you guys say you only want meat?”

The gluttons kept on staring at me.

“Fine, if you want it. I’ll make it for you.”

So much for meat, meat, meat only.

Anyway, I tossed a few wok full of Garlic Fried Rice and served them all with sliced steaks. Finally, while they chomp away at their rice, I was able to relax with my own portion of Garlic Fried Rice with Garlic Steak.

After our meal, I gave everyone some cider to wash down the meaty, garlicky flavour in their mouths.

The Ancient Dragon was surprised by the fizzy drink, but declared it delicious. As for me, I settled down with coffee.

“Oof, burp, the food was delicious, but the drinks are even better. This sweetness is light yet sharp, lovely sensation.”

“There are more drinks like this,” said Fer proudly, clearly lording his experience over the dragon. “Master, have you decided on a name for the old geezer?”

“A name? Oh, you mean as my familiar? But he’s a temporary familiar, right?”

“Even temporary familiars needed to be named.”

“A name? How odd, I have lived for 3000 years, but have been living with a title of ‘Ancient Dragon’ for so long. Hmm, not a bad thing, I supposed. Master, I request a solemn and dignified name as befits a noble being such as I.”

A solemn and dignified name? Ah, I don’t have a good naming sense, um, um…

I cast about for a good idea for a name and caught sight of Dora-chan, who was snoozing without care on his back, stuffed full of steaks and cider.

Dora-chan’s ‘dora’ is from ‘doragon’. Since Ancient Dragons are dragons too, uh, Dora-Gramps? Grandfather Gon?

Gon?

Grandad Gon?

Gon Gramps?

No, Grandpa Gon has a more dignified and solemn ring to it-

“Pfffft… kuhahahahahaha. You have a good name in mind, don’t you? Kukukukuku.”

“Eh? Wait, surely not…”

I hastily chanted [Appraisal] and indeed:

[Name] Grandpa Gon

[Age] 3024

[Race] Ancient Dragon

[Level] 1334

[Physical Strength] 10096 (14423)

[Magic Power] 14897 (21281)

[Attack Power] 9987 (14267)

[Defensive Power] 10364 (14806)

[Agility] 5459 (3895)

[Skills] Wind Magic Fire Magic Water Magic Earth Magic Ice Magic Lightning Magic

Divine Magic Barrier Magic Extreme Dragon Breath Breath of the Ancient Dragon

Physical Strengthening Physical Attack Resistance Magic Attack Resistance Magic Consumption Reduction Appraisal

[Ultimate Magic] Soul of the Ancient Dragon

“Uh, oops…”

Looks like my stats board recognised the Ancient Dragon as ‘Grandpa Gon’.

“If I remember correctly, so long as he is my familiar, his name will be…”

“Umu, it cannot be changed. Grandpa Gon, nice to meet you once again. Kukukuku, Grandpa Gon is a perfect name for an old geezer like you, eh?”

Fer, stop laughing…

I mean, isn’t that a nice and friendly name?

The Ancient Dragon aka Grandpa Gon, had frozen in place.

“Oi!! Master, isn’t this too ugly? I specifically asked for a solemn and dignified name. There’s not a single shred of either in this name! I demand a change!”

“That’s impossible, Grandpa Gon, pfft… cough, your name will remain so long as you’re this fellow’s familiar. Grandpa Gon.”

“Aarrgghhh!!!”

“Um, is it really that bad?”

“It’s hideous!”

“”Fellow dragon, I understand your feelings. This guy’s naming sense is out of this world.””

Dora-chan had woken up, and flew over to add in his two cents.

“”I, a dignified Pixie Dragon, had asked for a cool name. Not only was I given the name ‘Dora’ from ‘doragon’, but the indignity of ‘-chan’ was also added due to my small size…””

“A ‘-chan’? Even though you are a fully grown adult male dragon?”

[5b] “”Indeed.””

“How unnecessary, as a sign of respect for my fellow dragon, I shall address you as Dora without the ‘chan’.”

““Welp, I’ve pretty much given up on the cool name thing. All I have to do is think about fried chicken, steaks, soft-boiled eggs…””

“Umu, exactly. On my side, the Master suggested ‘Pochi’ or ‘Koro’…”

“…aren’t those… common names for dogs that serve humans?” the Ancient Dragon shuddered.

“Indeed, each time I thought of those names, a murderous sensation ran through my body…”

“So, your name ‘Fer’ is…”

“Indeed, it is just Fenrir.”

[5c]

“… …” for some reason, there was a strange sense of harmony among those three as they sighed in unison…

W-well, this is a good thing, right? Just a short while ago, Grandpa Gon and Fer were on the verge of tearing each other’s throats now.

Suddenly, Dora-chan perked up, “”Well, can’t do anything about that fellow’s bad naming sense, but the meals more than made up for it!””

“Umu, since you have been named, we shall be comrades now. Grandpa Gon.”

“You’re going to use that name at every opportunity, I just know it. Regardless, I look forward to working with you two from now on.”

“”Sui too~~!!””

“Oho, with little Sui too, of course.”

“”Happy to meet you~~ Grandpa Gon~~””

Somehow, I felt a bit left out by my familiars…

“Ou, Master!” the Ancient Dragon suddenly turned to me.

“Eh, what?”

“Make us more delicious food. That’s right, make that fried food everyone is talking about. I want to eat it.”

““Salt and soy sauce version!”” was Dora-chan’s input.

“Excellent idea, Dora.”

“Eh? There’s a difference?”

“Indeed, I prefer one over the other, but both are delicious.”

“”Fried food~~ fried food~~””

“Didn’t I say I’ll make it when we return to the surface?” I was being ganged up against. Moreover, the number of gluttons had just increased.

“Umu, perhaps in a little while,” Grandpa Gon said slowly, looking towards the wall where he had swatted the-

“Black Dragon!”

Indeed, the Black Dragon which had been twitching in pain all this while had suddenly revived. It breathed in deeply, clearly preparing to launch his Dragon Breath attack.

“Humph, do you think you have a better winning chance just because I’m smaller now? Although my overall stats have reduced by 30%, I would never be inferior to idiots like you.”

Then, Grandpa Gon breathed in and unleashed his own Dragon Breath.

The flash of light that came from the collision between two Dragon Breath attacks nearly blinded my eyes. When I could finally see, the Black Dragon was gone.

““Woohoo! You destroy that fellow with a single Dragon Breath!”” Dora-chan crowed admiringly as he flapped his wings.

“”Wow, wow, incredible~~ Grandpa Gon is incredible~~””

“Fumu, as expected of an Ancient Dragon.”

Wow, a positive comment from Fer.

“”Ah, it’s here~~”” Sui bounced over to collect the Drop items. ““Here, Master~~””

“Oh yes, humans like the Drops from monsters. Since that is the case, Master, do please take them.”

“Ah, yes…”

The Drops from a Black Dragon included: super large magic stone, a glossy jet-black skin, a jet-black claw and…

“Um, what is that ominous looking… bone?”

I stared at the large intact bone which looked like a femur bone from some huge animal. The bone itself was as long as my waist was high.

“It’s the Cursed Bones of the Black Dragon,” said Grandpa Gon knowingly.

“I’ve heard of it before, I think humans fight over these to make powerful magic tools for some kind of sorcery.”

“Yeah, I get that kind of feeling…”

I stared at the bone and thought of the increased number of ‘things that should sleep forever in my [Item Box]’ and sighed. Well, let’s just pick it up and store it away first.

While I was having an internal crisis all by myself, Fer was speaking with the Ancient Dragon.

“That’s right, Grandpa Gon, if you have been here for a long time, surely you must have collected some good Drop items? If you have any in your possession, hand it over to this fellow now. Drops valued by humans could be turned into money, and money could buy even more delicious food.”

“Hoo~ is that so? Well, well, come over here, please.”

Grandpa Gon herded us towards a relatively small hole in the wall. Inside was a cave about 8 tatami mats wide.

“Woah, this place is pretty small considering how the dungeon likes huge rooms.”

“Nah, I made this cave myself. That Black Dragon is too annoying, it kept reappearing every time I swatted it away and the things it dropped on the floor would disappear soon after. I made this cave to store things that caught my eye. Especially the shiny things.”

I stared at the roomful of ‘shiny things’.

There were gold and silver items of all kinds. As well as various magic tools and weapons. Among them were: Magic Sword Hrunting [8a], Magic Sword Gram [8b] and Magic Sword Eckesachs [8c]…

“… …” Whatever, I saw nothing. Anyway, I gave everyone a magic bag and proceeded to just blindly sweep everything into my [Item Box].

Anyway, once the cave was empty, I said, “Right, I guess it’s time to head back to the surface.”

“Now that the Black Dragon is gone, there should be a magic circle in the middle of the cave,” said Grandpa Gon. He did not look at all upset that we had just basically looted his cave of ‘shiny things’.

[8]

Fer was being unusually quiet, so I sent a telepathic message to him, “”Hey, what’s going on?””

“”Umu, that cave just now…””

“”What about it?””

“”Remember what I said about dungeon walls being close to indestructible?””

“”Oh? Oh!!”” I cast a nervous glance at the old dragon. “”Um, wait, his power is 30% lower than usual, but it’s still kind of a lot, right?””

“”Umu, indeed, that old geezer has superior HP, MP as well as Attack and Defensive power. Even so, I can beat him when it comes to Agility.””

“”Right…”” except now that he was in his smaller form, Grandpa Gon’s Agility had gone up, which made sense since a smaller body should be able to move much faster.

[8]

“”Oi. What are you two doing?”” Dora-chan flapped his wings impatiently.

“”Aruji~~!””

“Master? Are we not moving?”

“Yes, yes, coming,” I rushed over to the magic circle, Fer at my side. “Right, let’s head for the surface.”

“Hm, I wonder what human cities look like now? I’m looking forward to it.”

Ah, that’s right. I’ll have to bring Grandpa Gon to the city and… register him as my familiar.

The potential ruckus of that scene made a vein in my head throb…

Gumihou: Long 3140 words chapter went down to 2286.

Fer: ….

Gumihou: …

Fer: …did you eat them-

Gumihou: NOO!!

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information… starting to delete pointless scenes now

[a] Delete repetitive chorus of ‘I’m full’ x 4

[b] Trimmed off a lot of stuff from the dialogue. For example:

From:

“Is Grandpa Gon really that terrible of a name?”

As soon as I muttered that, Grandpa Gon replied with ‘It is goddamn terrible’, ‘I can’t even feel a bit of your sense!’, angrily.

To:

“Um, is it really that bad?”

“It’s hideous!”

Deducted 24 words from this change alone.

[c] Deleted the rest of the [5b] dialogues

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative License – Redid dialogue for small cave. It came out of nowhere, so, gave it a little transition

[9] Magic Swords

[a] Hrunting – Sword given to Beowulf by Unferth the ancient

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hrunting

[b] Gram – Gram or Gramr (meaning wrath) is the sword that Sigurd used to kill the dragon Fafnir

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gram_(mythology)

[c] Eckesachs – Is a divine sword that appears in Fire Emblem: The Binding Blade

https://fireemblem.fandom.com/wiki/Eckesachs