The Main Heroines are Trying to Kill Me-Novel
Chapter 161: - An Unfulfilled Miracle༺ A Unfulfilled Miracle ༻
“…..Sob.”
One morning, after the sun had both set and risen.
“Sob, sob…”
Even now, Roswyn continued to decipher the diary in her academy dorm room.
“Sob-sob-sob… sob-sob…”
Tears welled up in her eyes as she read the latter part of the diary that she had just decoded.
[xx Year xx Month xx Day]
[Today marks the day I will give the final flower to Roswyn.]
“T-This was it… it was at this time…”
Although she had already comprehended the entire content during her translation, Roswyn began reading from the beginning once more, her body trembling in sorrow.
[The flower I intend to give her today is a rose. Initially, I wanted to gift her an everlasting flower, but sadly, I never found one, even until the very end.]
The shocking revelations proved to be too overwhelming for her to process in a single reading.
[This might be my last attempt to offer it to her. Perhaps tomorrow, I will lose everything and be captured.
Can I succeed this time?
I hope I can succeed… Just once is enough…]
As Roswyn read the text again, new perspectives unfolded before her.
[I can’t recall how many flowers I’ve bestowed upon Roswyn thus far.
I gifted her every variety in the world, and once, I even offered her an entire garden.
But why? Why won’t she become my ally?]
The passage, penned in shaky handwriting, deviated from what she had previously understood.
As he wrote these words, it was evident that Frey’s hand had trembled in despair.
[According to the prophecy, Roswyn is supposed to be my only companion—my last vestige of conscience to alleviate the exceedingly wicked difficulty of this journey.
When the Helper System awakens, she will be the sole individual who won’t cause me to incur any penalty when she realizes my true identity.
Once she becomes an ally, she will become my greatest aide and sole partner, the only one who could truly understand me, regardless of how much the world despises me.]
“Aide… Partner…”
As she soullessly recited words of a relationship that now held no significance and would never materialize, Roswyn turned the page with trembling hands to the next entry.
[That was the reason why I always treated her well. Even when I had to harm everyone else, I still treated her warmly and always tried to please her. That way, she would accept my flower and fulfill the system conditions.]
“C-conditions…”
[However, it’s quite strange.
I’ve given her countless flowers over so many cycles of regressions, yet for some reason… She has never become my ally.
Turning her into my ally was the one goal I could never achieve, despite all the tricks I tried and the countless years I invested to search for a solution.]
“T-that’s…”
Upon reaching this portion, Roswyn suddenly recollected the moments when she reluctantly accepted Frey’s flowers, driven by annoyance.
[Well, that’s why I gave up on making her my ally for a while.
For quite a long time, even before this cycle occurred, I only offered her flowers to provoke her hatred.
Strangely, her hatred seemed to intensify with every flower I gave her.]
Roswyn continued reading, tears welling up in her eyes as a single one trickled down her cheeks and onto the diary.
[An immeasurable amount of time passed, and this regression finally arrived.
I used every trick in my book and armed myself with all the knowledge I had discovered over eons. Finally, I completed my growth with enough certainty to end everything,
This cycle was one where everything converged perfectly with a miraculous probability.]
[As such, while previously, I had merely given her flowers out of obligation and habit, at least during this regression, I genuinely wanted to gift them to her.
Of course, initially, the reason was somewhat selfish.
At first, I merely saw her as a tool. Thus, I aimed to make her my ally so that she could help increase the clearance rate for this cycle, a miracle that I had achieved through the efforts of countless regressions.
For that reason, I started giving her flowers with sincerity after a long time.]
As tears streamed down her cheeks, it splattered the pages, but the magic quickly restored the diary back to its original dry state.
[However, somewhere along the way, I came to a realization, and I had no choice but to admit it.
Despite growing weary of everything after countless cycles, in the end, I still wanted a companion with whom I could share my heart—someone who would acknowledge and appreciate everything I’ve done for this world. Our world.
Also…]
“A… Ahh… Ahhh…”
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇt[I guess I wanted to be loved by someone just one last time before the end of my final life.]
Roswyn’s tears flowed more profusely down her cheeks.
The once-dry diary now became utterly drenched with her tears.
[But even in this cycle, she never reciprocated my feelings or presents.
Though, thanks to my heightened intelligence, I managed to figure out the conditions needed to awaken her as an ally.
Nevertheless, despite all my desperate attempts to manipulate her emotions, she continued to converse cheerfully with Ruby, just as always.]
[As such, budding emotions that I had felt for the first time in a long while grew exceedingly faint once again.
Why does she hate me so much?
Are she and I destined to remain apart?]
“Just once… If only I had sincerely accepted his feelings once…”
She wanted to see Frey again, thinking maybe if she held the flower and considered him as a ‘precious existence,’ the system would activate once more.
She had now realized that the awakening condition of the Helper System was simply ‘receiving the flower with sincerity.’
Frey had been exceptionally kind, friendly, and warm towards Roswyn because he wanted to be loved at least once in his many miserable lifetimes. As such, he constantly showered her with confessions, desperately hoping for them to be reciprocated. To be accepted.
In his last lifetime, he truly desired for a companion with whom he could share everything; someone in whom he could confide and be acknowledged by. So, he made one last sincere effort.
“But I, I…”
However, Roswyn persisted in defying his expectations until the very end.
Whether in the past or present, Roswyn remained solely focused on being the aide of the Hero.
She only saw Frey as someone who had fallen for her beauty and charm, a naive and gullible admirer who was willing to shower her with money.
“…What the hell did I do?”
Suddenly, memories surged through Roswyn’s mind.
Once, when she was quite young, Frey had come to her and told her that he fell in love with her at first sight.
He had rambled on, promising to grant her every desire, whether it was wealth or fame, if she would just become his partner for life.
She had treated him warmly, secretly delighted by the prospect of a new source of wealth.
She recalled how she had accepted the various flowers he earnestly presented to her, only to dispose of them coldly when he left the guild—either tossing them away or storing them in the warehouse.
As time passed, Ruby emerged as the world’s Hero, and Roswyn ultimately pledged her allegiance to her.
“Roswyn, for today’s flower… Ah.”
“…Who is that person?”
“A stalker. Don’t mind him.”
With a sheepish expression, Frey arrived with a bouquet of flowers, but upon seeing Roswyn conversing with Ruby, he displayed a shocked expression.
Seeing Frey in that state, Roswyn showed an inexplicable smile, and without uttering a word, Ruby winked at her.
“Roswyn, please. Just once…”
“Can you just leave me alone? What will the Hero think if she sees this scene?”
Later, Frey even clung to her leg, sobbing and begging her to be in a relationship with him.
“Sob… Sob…”
The last time he visited her, Roswyn slammed the door in his face.
And during the final battle, she showed no mercy as she relentlessly thrusted a dagger into his side.
“Euaaa… Aaa…”
In excruciating pain within the confines of time, Frey, who had now disappeared forever, desperately wanted her to become his companion.
In the end, she had only made actions that left her with lasting regrets that would surely haunt her thoughts until the day she died.
“H-He treated me so well… I was the reason he clung to his last shred of emotions… But I only saw him as a source of money…”
As karma had it, she was now facing the consequences of turning down Frey’s desperate pleas for salvation, right to the very end of his existence.
[Still, I will make one last attempt. Although I may not have enough time for her to receive the unidentified flower that Alice personally recommended, the roses I prepared in advance are too beautiful to waste. And, of course, I still have some lingering attachments to her.]
“…Huh?”
Amidst the tremors of her body and her laments regarding the grave repercussions of her own actions, Roswyn’s eyes abruptly widened.
“This… This is.”
As she continued to read, her expression rapidly changed.
[Because after she genuinely accepts the flowers, the ‘small miracle’ will occur, and…]
She had missed the last part of the diary before because her tears had obstructed her vision.
[…once everything is over, I wonder what will happen if she approaches me with flowers as well.
Well, that will only ever occur if she accepts the flowers in the first place.]
“…Flowers.”
After seeing the last few lines, Roswyn leapt from her seat, quivering, as she muttered to herself.
“Flowers… I need to give him flowers.”
While uttering those words, she stared at her own hands.
“Flowers… Ah.”
As soon as it came, her eyes quickly lost their luster.
The solitary rose that Frey had left her was deteriorated to such an extent that it couldn’t endure the shock of the system’s awakening. Consequently, it had shattered into fragments.
“…N-No way. There must be something else left. There has to be.”
She snapped out of her daze and stared at the shattered roses in her hands in despair. Then, Roswyn urgently shook her head and reached out towards her desk.
“There has to be… at least one, at least one left.”
She frantically rummaged through the drawers on her desk, desperately searching for the flowers that Frey had once given her.
“At least one… Ugh.”
Soon, she found a flower.
– The first flower the Hero gave me ♡
However, it was not what she was looking for. It was a ruby-colored flower Ruby had given her several years ago. Roswyn had meticulously preserved it, ensuring that it wouldn’t wither in the least.
“…….Ah.”
She finally realized that the whole room was actually filled with gifts. Except, they were not the gifts that she wanted nor needed. Everywhere her gaze landed, there were gifts from Ruby, flowers from Ruby, photos of Ruby… Ruby. Ruby. Ruby. She was suffocating under the guilt and shame that each of these items represented.
“Sob ah…”
“Sob aaahhhh…”
Yet, the presents and flowers Frey had given her were absent, as she had either sold them, burned them, or discarded them.
“Sob waaaaaa!!”
Upon realizing this, Roswyn began to scream frantically.
“Don’t look at me…!!!”
She went berserk, destroying everything in her sight. From Ruby’s photos and the meticulously preserved ruby-colored flowers to the notes of praise she had received from Ruby; they were all annihilated under her wrath and sorrow.
– Crashhhh!!
“…Ah, ugh!!”
Then, in an ironic twist, the protective spell that she had paid a hefty price for activated, injuring her hand.
“Ah… ah…”
As a result, Roswyn, who collapsed on the floor, began to tremble.
“Don’t… don’t look at me like that…”
She had come to realize that the expression on Ruby’s face in the photos, which she had considered cheerful just a few days ago, was actually infused with mocking laughter.
“Sob… Sob…”
Roswyn slowly lost her strength, as she sank to the ground, surrounded by fallen petals of ruby-colored flowers.
“…The warehouse.”
She muttered weakly, struggling to rise.
“There might be some artificial flowers stored in the guild’s warehouse.”
Shortly thereafter, a carriage departed from Sunrise Academy.
.
.
.
.
.
“………”
With her head lowered, Roswyn walked down the street, her eyes swollen from her sobs.
“L-Lady Roswyn, what brings you here…?”
“T-The flowers! All the artificial flowers that Frey gifted me… are they still stored in the warehouse?!”
“Oh no, we sold them all.”
“…..What?”
She turned pale from shock at the words of the Information Guild employee as she questioned whether her hearing was still functional.
“The artificial flowers were made of gold and precious gems, so we were told to take them apart and sell them individually.”
“When did you sell them…?”
“We disposed of them a few months ago. The last one was made into an accessory.”
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm“Ac-accessory…”
Since the artificial flowers that she sorely desired had already been repurposed into something as meaningless as accessories, Roswyn could only leave the guild empty-handed.
“There are no flowers left… Despite receiving so many from him, not a single one remains…”
Every one of the flowers Ruby had given to the guild had been carefully preserved.
However, not a single one of Frey’s was left.
“I-I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I made a mistake…”
Thus, despite the impossibility of recovering Frey, Roswyn made her way to Isolet’s house, where it was said that his remains lay.
However, she couldn’t muster the courage to enter the house as she only stood outside, weeping.
“If only I had just kept one… just one flower. Then, maybe the small miracle could have been fulfilled…”
She longed for a miracle, something that she had already recklessly forsaken herself, to possibly change this nightmare.
“Sob, sob, sob…”
Just like that, Roswyn knelt outside Isolet’s house and wept for a while.
“…Huh?”
Suddenly, she widened her eyes.
[Even if I can’t give the unidentified flower that Alice personally recommended…]
“…The flower I received back then, the everlasting flower.”
She began to recall the contents of the diary.
“Th-that flower was meant to be given to me.”
Though it was quite a forced assumption, Roswyn, still in a state of panic, shakily retrieved the everlasting flower.
“With this… I’ll go find him. Once I find Frey…!”
With newfound determination, she struggled to her feet and began knocking on the front door.
“P-please… Miss Isolet, open the door. Open it… Ugh.”
The front door opened. It seemed like it had been unlocked all along since no one was inside.
“I-I brought a flower. Frey… It’s too late, but… even so…”
Completely disregarding the fact that she was intruding, Roswyn entered Isolet’s house.
“…..Ugh.”
Inside, Roswyn discovered numerous bottles of alcohol strewn around Isolet, who was sitting at the dining table.
“Miss Isolet, I heard you have recovered Frey…”
“…Hm.”
Roswyn urgently posed a question to Isolet, who was drunk and unfocused. Hearing the question, Isolet opened her eyes and slouched in her chair.
“Fre… Frey is over there.”
“T-thank you…”
Isolet’s eyes were clouded by alcohol, as she pointed towards something. Following Isolet’s vague gesture, Roswyn swiftly moved towards the indicated spot.
“……..Ah.”
Eventually, she reached the location Isolet had mentioned, and stood right in front of Frey.
“……….”
With vacant eyes, she looked down.
[Frey Raon Starlight]
There lay a scabbard filled with gleaming soil, engraved with Frey’s name.
“…..What is this?”
“It’s Frey.”
As Roswyn asked in disbelief, Isolet, with her unfocused eyes, softly chuckled and replied.
“It’s definitely Frey. No doubt about it. If that’s not Frey, then what is?”
“……”
“Other kids will come soon too. I already informed them. Just exchange your greetings in advance…”
Ignoring Isolet’s rambling, Roswyn gently placed the flower on top of the scabbard filled with soil.
– Ssk…
“……..”
However, no miracle happened.
“I b-brought a flower… sob.”
It wasn’t Frey. It was only a lingering trace of him that was the sole remnant of his existence in this world.
“S-sorry… I’m sorry… uu uuu…”
From that moment on, Roswyn completely fell apart as her mind shattered into pieces.
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