The Beautiful Monster

"Boom," he replied, prompting her to laugh.

"Thanks for being so patient with me. I'm trying to learn as fast as I can," she told him sincerely. She wanted sex to be great for both of them, so she was trying to pick up as many tips as she could from each of their sessions.

Elias gave her a pointed look.

"You don't have to rush learning anything. You do amazing every single time. As long as you feel good, I feel good," Elias pointed out.

"Really?" Alyssa asked shyly. She hoped that was true because that would put so much pressure off of her. At times, she wasn't sure if she was doing all that great or not.

"Of course," Elias replied before bumping his hip against hers.

Alyssa laughed as they walked to the bathroom together.

"Want to take a shower?" she asked. She wanted to cuddle up against him as they stood under the hot stream.

She hardly even liked taking showers by herself now because she enjoyed the ones that she took with him so much.

"Good idea," Elias replied before switching on the hot water. He pecked her on the cheek before pulling back the shower curtain so that she could step inside.

He followed her and ducked his head under the hot spray. "I know you like it scalding hot."

"I like to boil, like a lobster," Alyssa replied as she got under the spray with him. Something about hot showers was so comforting to her. It melted her stress away.

Not that she felt any stress now, though. She felt perfectly at peace.

Elias laughed at that.

"I know you've been avoiding bringing it up, but we need to figure out what to do for your birthday next week," he told her.

Alyssa grimaced at that. Some people loved their birthdays. She was not one of those people.

Unfortunately, she had too many birthdays ruined by her parents to want to celebrate any other ones.

It just left a bad taste in her mouth. Of course, Zoe blabbered to Elias, so they wanted to plan something for her. She couldn't exactly stop them.

"I don't even want to know," she murmured. She didn't want any part in planning. She would just get upset and shut everything down.

It was hard celebrating herself because of the bad memories she had, whether it was awful fights, her cake being thrown in the trash, or her parents embarrassing her in front of her friends. She couldn't bear it.

"We'll surprise you then," Elias replied warmly. He then placed a hand on the back of her head gently. "We're going to make up for all of those bad birthdays. I promise."

Alyssa couldn't help but smile. That meant a lot to her, and she believed him. She knew that him and Zoe were going to plan something great for her, and she really appreciated that. It was more effort than anyone else had ever put in.

"Thank you," she told him sincerely. She was a little excited, but she had to get over the bad taste first. That would take time.

"As long as you're with me, we're celebrating anything. I've found that you should always look for excuses to celebrate. Things are so much more fun," Elias pointed out.

Even if she didn't have that same mindset with birthdays, Alyssa liked his optimism and positivity. She needed to think like that more. She let her past and trauma get in the way of too much.

She was ready to move forward and focus on her goals. They've been with her through everything, and she wasn't about to abandon them.

"I can get with that," she told him. She was willing to change some of her ways, especially if they were a bit negative.

Her attitude toward birthdays was cold, and she wanted to change that for the both of them. She planned to work on it.

Elias pulled her against his chest, holding her as they let the water pound down on them. He leaned his head against hers with a smile.

"I like when you're here," he told her.

Alyssa smiled as she lightly dragged her nails along his lower back. She liked being here too. It honestly felt more like home than anywhere else.

She wanted to tell him that, but she didn't want to overstep and make him feel like she was trying to invade his space. She just liked being anywhere with him.

However, at his apartment, she felt like they could act more like themselves. They could do anything they wanted without anyone seeing or forcing them to abide by certain rules.

It was like they were in their own little world here, and it was one that she didn't want to leave anytime soon. If she did have to, she hoped that Elias would come with her.

So much emotion suddenly struck Alyssa. She felt so safe in his arms, and there was no one else that she wanted to be with.

If she wanted things, she had to take risks, right? He was worth any risk, and she had words in her mind that she needed to say to him.

"I love you," she blurted out before looking up at him. Anxiety gripped her, but she kept her eyes on his as they widened. "It's okay if you don't."

Elias shook his head, which made her heart drop at first.

"Of course I love you," he said before breaking out into a smile. "I have for a while now."

Alyssa let out a relieved breath. That was good to hear. At least she wasn't alone in her feelings.

She hugged him tightly, not ever wanting to let him go. She had never loved someone like this before. She held tightly to the feeling.

"I should've told you sooner, but I was scared," she admitted. She wished she stopped listening to her fear so much. All it did was hold her back from doing the things that she wanted to do.

Elias rested his chin on the top of her head.

"I know. Me too," he said. "But at least she finally said it now."

Alyssa laughed softly and nodded. Better late than never. She continued to hold on to him as they stood under the warm spray of water. No moment felt more peaceful than this one.

If she could stay in it forever, she would, but reality lurked just outside, and it refused to be ignored.