The Beautiful Monster

Elias gave her a strange look.

"Are you sure? I can drop you off after breakfast," he offered.

"I'm fine. I'll talk to you later," Alyssa replied before kissing him on the cheek. It was a bit faint, but it would do for now.

She loved him, but there was something weird going on between them that she didn't like. She hoped that it was resolved eventually.

She walked out of his apartment, feeling grateful that campus was a short five-minute walk away.

She walked down the sidewalk that led toward campus, reflecting back on his shift in attitude when she mentioned the New York apartment.

He almost looked uncomfortable, like she put him in a weird position.

She didn't want to keep dropping hints and bringing New York up, but she felt like she had to so that he would give her an answer. It wasn't something that she could just drop.

Alyssa ran her fingers through her hair, feeling her eyes burn slightly. She was feeling completely overwhelmed at this point with no idea what to do.

She felt like bringing it up would start some sort of argument or make him go silent. She didn't want either, so she was trying to be patient and wait for him to start the conversation. But he wasn't doing that!

She considered calling Zoe, but she decided to just drop the issue for today. She had things to do, and she suspected that she wasn't going to talk to Elias much today.

Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe they needed some space. She never thought that would be a good thing, but she found out new things all the time. She just wished more of those things were actually good things.

**********

Alyssa walked through the halls of the science building, dragging her feet slightly. It was two days later, and things were still weird between her and Elias.

They barely talked, but she figured a little more space would be fine. She was so busy with work, volunteering, and school anyway. She wished that she could catch her breath soon.

She told Zoe that she wanted to talk soon. She always broke down so easily when it came to talking to her best friend.

Zoe always made her feel better because she talked sense into her. Alyssa had a habit of blowing things up in her head. She couldn't help it, but Zoe always made her see the true picture. 

New York was going to be hard to venture without her compass, but Alyssa would have to figure things out on her own. It would be tough, but everything would be hard.

It wouldn't be anything that Alyssa already wasn't used to. For some reason, that was slightly comforting to her. If things were too easy, they wouldn't even feel real.

She didn't know what she was going to do for the rest of the day. She mostly caught up on her work, but there were some future assignments that she could get a jump on.

She also had to purchase a cord for her graduation attire. She would have to go dress shopping with Zoe soon.

Her parents didn't even go to her high school graduation, so this one would be no different. At least she was already used to it and prepared for it.

Her real family, Elias and Zoe, would be there, and that was all that mattered. They would make the day special for her because it was a great day. It was her step closer to her dream.

Alyssa was so deep in her head that she almost didn't hear her name being called. She turned around to see Dr. Hahn waving at her from the door of his office.

She immediately smiled and walked over to him, feeling glad to see him since it had been a minute.

She had been Dr. Hahn's research assistant for a little while and had learned so much under him. She worked on various research projects that involved stem cell research, which she included in her capstone project with an emphasis on child development.

He really exposed the world of science to her, and he wrote her a recommendation letter for medical school too.

"Hi, Dr. Hahn. It's good to see you," she greeted him politely. She chatted with him every once in a while, even after she stopped being his research assistant.

She wanted to continue to do research with him, but she had to make time for actual medical work. He was understanding.

"It's good to see you. Congrats on NYU. I had no doubt they would take you," he said with a warm smile.

"Thank you. I'm really excited," Alyssa replied with a nod. "And a bit nervous."

"Good. That means you care," Dr. Hahn pointed out. "That's the most important thing."

Alyssa wondered if she cared too much sometimes. When she felt comfortable enough to, she put her heart out.

Maybe that still wasn't safe enough. She could still get hurt, even if the people she trusted didn't mean to hurt her. Elias was hurting her right now.

"I have big plans," she told him, but she knew that he already knew that.

"Are you preparing for your big move?" Dr. Hahn asked her with a curious look.

Alyssa shrugged as she looked down at her feet. She needed to be doing more than what she was doing, but she was a bit stuck at the moment.

She hated feeling stuck. She had felt stuck for so long. Then, she met Zoe and Elias, and her life started moving again. She didn't want it to come to a stop again.

"A little," she murmured. That wasn't a complete lie. She had started going through her things and tossing what she didn't care to keep. That was a start, and that was better than doing nothing.

"That doesn't seem so certain," Dr. Hahn laughed softly. "You don't have much time left."

Alyssa didn't need to be reminded of that. She was well aware that she was running out of time, but Elias didn't seem to care about that.

Did he even care at all that he was causing her stress? It didn't seem that way since he was basically ignoring her. It irritated her.

"Just dealing with some personal stuff right now," she admitted.