The Abandoned Empress

“Please hang in there a little longer. The High Priest will be here shortly. Please…”

“Your Majesty, please calm down!”

“If you get up safely, I will do whatever you want. I’ll let you succeed your family as you wish. I’ll make sure you are not entangled with the imperial family. If you don’t want to see me, I will never appear again before you! So please hang in there a little more…’

His desperate voice was hoarse with tears now. I felt heartbroken so much as if my heart was exploding. He loved me so much.

“Don’t give up so easily. You are not the one who gives up so easily. ”

“Your Majesty, please…”

“You are my breath. You are the blood flowing in my body as well as the only one left in this lonely and harsh world who is so precious to me. How can I live without you? Don’t be so cruel to me.”

His hot tears fell on my neck. I was also crying deep down.

Why didn’t I admit that I loved him here and now? The moment I realized that I loved him as he was now, I already knew the answer. Why didn’t I trust him when I was so greatly and so desperately loved by him?

I found it harder to breathe now. I was losing consciousness gradually. My heart ached because I felt the same thing sometime in the past. Was this the end of my life? Was this the last moment of my life when I didn’t achieve anything?

“No! Aristia!” I heard someone’s screaming, calling my name.

I was a fool because I pretended not to know when I already knew the answer. I wanted to tell him and confide my love to him, which I had hidden from him until now, but my frozen tongue would not move. The shadow of death was coming closer to me.

Leaving my cold body to him, I murmured something to him.

‘Sorry. I always said sorry instead of thanking you who was always considerate of me. I know you hated my apologies, but I would like to ask for your forgiveness for the last time.

I’m sorry for hurting you, and I’m sorry for not trusting you. Although I know I can’t keep the promise, I still want to promise. If I were born again, I would certainly…’

***

I opened my eyes to a strange scene. Where am I now?

I tilted my head a bit when I noticed a white insignia embroidered with the roaring golden lion’s crest. Why am I here in the Imperial Palace now, and that in a place that looked like a bedroom?

I slowly raised my body, then stopped because several things came to my mind suddenly. Sir Sia, who laughed at me like crazy, and my father who got angry at him, and the emperor who screamed desperately, holding me in his arms, and his promise to me with a sigh.

Suddenly, I felt goosebumps.

How am I alive now? The sensation I felt the moment I lost my consciousness was clearly the same as that when I faced death.

‘No way…?”

I trembled when something suddenly came to my mind.

Probably not. Oh, no. God can’t be so cruel to me.

When I opened the curtain after taking a deep breath, my eyes met with my father’s navy blue eyes. When I was startled, he walked to me fast and hugged me tightly. Then he said with a trembling voice, “You’re awake, Tia. Thank God, I’m so glad.”

I felt like a noodle as all the tension was gone from my body.

What a relief! The past six years was neither a dream nor an illusion to me.

I was very relieved that my father, my friends and colleagues would be the same.

Now that I got used to being loved, it was dreadful for me to even imagine them turning away from me.

“I was afraid I would lose you. I hated myself, watching your body getting cold when you didn’t leave any word for me.”

“… Daddy.”

“How incompetent I am! I couldn’t do anything when your mother lost her life, so I felt you might lose your life without being able to help you out at all.”

“Oh, don’t say that, Daddy…”

“I shouldn’t have placed you in the same group as him. I didn’t catch his wicked intention in advance, and even let him stay with you. I was too complacent to care about your safety at all. It’s all my fault, Tia.”

My heart ached when my father blamed himself so harshly.

Although he held me in his arms so tightly that I could hardly breathe, I took my arm out cautiously and put it around his shoulder.

Feeling guilty on my end, I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“…”

“I should have been more careful, but I was narrow-minded. I’m so sorry, Daddy.”

“No, it’s because I was stupid. I didn’t play my role as your father properly.”

“Don’t blame yourself, Daddy. You have always been my strong supporter. If you hadn’t supported me whenever I felt distressed and weary, I wouldn’t have held out like now. So, don’t say that. Got it?”

In fact, that was what I wanted to tell him, but couldn’t because I didn’t have the heart to do so. Although I spoke out in a little voice, obviously my message got through to him because I felt his body getting stiff the moment I said that.

“…Tia.”

“So…please show me your face, Daddy. I really missed you a lot. ”

“… Okay,” he said with a very subdued voice. I looked up at him, who was releasing me from his arms slowly.

His eyebrows were trembling and his eyes were wet with tears.

My heart ached when I saw him haggard, but I said with a smile, pretending not to have noticed it, “Oh my god, ladies in social circles won’t like you as you look so haggard, Daddy. Let me ask the butler to prepare a special menu for you, so you have to eat it all, okay? If you don’t, you might lose favor with them.”

“… Sure, got it.”

Even though he noticed that I was trying to change the topic, he nodded silently.

I smiled when he kept stroking my hair.

How much time passed? While I was leaning on my father’s broad chest, feeling his warmth, I suddenly noticed the crest of the imperial family embroidered on the carpet.

Why am I here? I would not have trembled with fear if not for it.

“By the way, Daddy…”

“Yes, honey.”

“Why am I in the Imperial Palace now?”

“Oh, the emperor took the measure to bring you here. He said he would protect you inside the palace until he unveils all the masterminds of this treason plot.”

“Ah…”

I suddenly recalled his desperate screaming the moment he held me in his arms when I passed out. I also remembered his earnest begging and hot tears falling on my body as I was growing cold.

I put my hand on my heart because I was choked up with emotions.

It was the first time that I saw him begging me so desperately in the presence of others. He stayed calm on the surface even when the emperor passed away.

Suddenly, I came near crying. I blinked my tearful eyes little by little when my eyes met my father’s navy blue eyes. Watching me stiffen instantly, he said with a long sigh, with a determined expression, “Tia, are you still intending to succeed the family?”

“Pardon? Why are you suddenly bringing it up…?”

“Well, it’s rude to say this, but I didn’t like the emperor. I recognize his competence as the ruler, but I didn’t like him as your spouse. As you know, he is a cold-hearted man, right?”

“Daddy?”

Only

My eyes were wide with his remarks. I wondered if the man standing before me was my real father. How could my father who was so loyal to the imperial family say so?

“When he refused to accept your oath, I knew he deeply loved you, but that’s all. I hated him deep down because he pushed you to the point that you made such a decision. And he made your mind greatly troubled.”

“…”

“I didn’t ask you, but I was curious all the time about what made you feel so nervous about him. At first, I thought it was just because you hated your destiny, then the nightmare that tormented you so much.”

“… ”

“On the festival day, I looked for you because I was bothered by the fact that you were not happy even with such good news… I saw you crying, winding up the spring of that Orgel all night. So, I went to see the emperor the next day.”

After catching his breath for a moment, he continued.