The Abandoned Empress

There was another envelope inside it. There was also another envelope in the second one.

When I opened it with a quick sigh, I finally saw something other than an envelope.

A sheet of paper folded in half.

‘ Why did he seal it like this?’

I opened it with a puzzled expression and read the first line.

What the heck? Marquis Mirwa?

When I recalled the man with honey-colored hair, who used to speak to me with a smile on his face, I tightened my hand holding the envelope.

I let out a sigh, flattening the edge of the crumpled paper.

Who else is Duke Jena going to shift his responsibility on this time? Last time his victim was Earl Lanier. This time is Earl Mirwa?

But I could not understand why Duke Jena was trying to cut off Marquis Mirwa, ranked No. 2 in the noble faction.

It is said that the marquis’s power has grown recently. Does Duke Jena want to keep him at bay? Or is the marquis really involved in this incident?

I felt I knew why the emperor handed this document to me one year after the incident.

‘He must have been confused, too.’

He must have been very embarrassed when an unexpected man was involved while focusing the investigation on Duke Jena, and he must have been confused when there was no direct evidence about Marquis Miwa’s involvement. He would have felt uncomfortable about punishing the marquis, but at the same time he must have found it difficult to attack Duke Jena as there was no clear evidence.

But now the situation has changed. I wasn’t the only one who had been poisoned.

I discovered some very plausible evidence about Ian Belot, who had an affair with the maid, but whose connection with the noble faction or the poison in question I didn’t yet find out properly.

I could have a clearer picture of the true culprit if I obtained the test results of the poison sooner or later…

Wait a minute.

Then, why did the emperor give it to me? It could be very useful in the past. Now it was not, and he must have also noticed it. Did he give it to me, so I could use it to find the true culprit? Or did he want to show me that he didn’t forget my case?

When I looked at him with a doubtful expression, he turned his navy blue eyes toward me.

The moment I was avoiding his intense and tenacious gaze, which I felt uncomfortable, I heard a knock on the door. A servant came in and said, “Your Majesty, former princess of the Lua kingdom, Frincia de Lars, wants to see you. What shall I do? ”

“Madam Lars? …Please let her in.”

‘Why has she come here?’

When I was tilting my head, he turned around and said, “Can you excuse us for a minute?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

I was a little puzzled, but I stood up silently, with my head down.

But when I stepped into the small room in his office, I suddenly thought of the document he handed me a moment ago.

‘Oh my God. How can I leave that confidential document behind?’

When I turned around, clicking my tongue, I saw the blonde woman coming into the office, holding her baby in her arms.

I stopped unconsciously. I turned my eyes at the baby wiggling her lips with her eyes closed, Frincia greeting him politely and the emperor asking her to have a seat with a smile.

“… ”

Putting my hand on my chest lonely, I looked at the two chatting.

Why do I feel so heartbroken? Why do I feel so bitter?

I was biting my lips because I couldn’t understand it, but something crossed my mind suddenly.

Oh, I see. I could not make him smile at me warmly because I might be infertile. That’s why I was so heartbroken. Yes, that’s the reason.

In the past, I wanted him to smile at me warmly. When I learned that I was pregnant, I prayed earnestly that he could come back to me. I just thought of my baby as a means to get back his love. So, even when I lost my baby, I felt heartbroken about the fact that I could not get back his love.

My heart ached so much when I saw Frincia looking down at her baby with a satisfied smile as if she had everything in the world. If I had delivered a baby safely and held in my arms, how would I have felt? Would I smile happily like her?

I lifted my arms and hugged the air as if I hugged a baby.

I didn’t even cry even though my baby vanished like that.

Ah, yes, I was such a cruel woman. Even when I knew that I might be an infertile woman, I was ashamed rather than sad, which I realized only after I saw her and the emperor chatting friendly.

Suddenly, my eyes began to blur with tears. My heart ached because of sorrow, regret and guilt. torn. I recalled my lost baby and abandoned love, the High Priest’s words that I might not get pregnant in my second life, and the emperor’s reassurances that he would protect me in return for my staying with him.

If I had been in good condition…

What would I have felt if I really had accepted his heart?

I conjured up a beautiful scene in my tearful eyes, with him looking at me warmly and me smiling at him brightly, and my baby held in my arms. I was imagining such a warm, happy and beautiful scene like that.

A tear rolled down from my blurred eyes. In no time a stream of tears flowed down my cheek.

I covered my mouth with both hands to stop my weeping from coming out. Without thinking of wiping my tears, I wept silently like that.

How much time passed?

I suddenly came to my senses when Frincia told him she was leaving. When I was about to turn after wiping my tears, my eyes met his. Rising from his seat quickly, he came to me in a hurry.

“What…”

“… Your Majesty.”

“What happened to you? I asked you to excuse us for a minute…”

“Sorry, Your Majesty. I think I showed you my ugly ….”

I hastily lowered my head, swallowing my uncontrollable sobbing. He already saw my eyes wet with tears, but I didn’t want to show him.

“Please raise your head.”

“… ”

“Aristia.”

He gently lifted my face after calling me with a sigh. Tears came out again when he looked at me with a worried expression, so I covered my mouth with both hands to stop the sobbing. Watching the tears rolling down my hands, he said, looking angry, “Take off your hands.”

Only

“… ”

“…Just cry as you wish. Don’t care about manners.”

When I sobbed, shrugging my shoulder, he looked at me and pulled me close with a deep sigh.

Then he whispered into my ears, holding me tightly in his arms, “I won’t hear anything if I do like this. So, just cry out instead of holding back your tears.”

Did his words do it? My sobbing now turned into something like a scream. Sorrowful tears fell from my eyes when I felt his warmth in his close physical contact with me. I felt heartbroken when he was so different from the old him because he was now so kind and so warm.

I couldn’t escape from the illusion lingering in front of my eyes. The heartbreaking images of me, him and our baby smiling happily between us kept hovering in my mind.

How good it would have been if he had been like this back then! If he had, I would not have suffered or endlessly refused to hurt him because of this kind of image that occasionally came to my mind. If he had been like this, I could have loved him freely and showed affection for my lost baby. Then, everyone could have been happy.

I was sad because I could not accept the fact that I could not accept his concern and attention to me now, which I would have been so happy and grateful for. My sorrowful tears kept coming out because I felt so warm in his arms as he pat me gently and hugging me tightly