My Pick Up Artist System

*Author's Note: Whenever there's a song parody, I include the title before or after. If I believe it's a popular enough song, I do it after, so if you don't recognize the song within the first few lines, before reading all the lyrics, you can scroll down to the end first to identify it.

———

Although Tina didn't give Ben a new flag because she was American, she did give him a chest, and this one was a bit of a pleasant surprise. In truth, he expected her chest would be only fine quality and for good reasons: she wasn't a virgin and she had the slut status. In the past, both of these conditions led to lower evaluations. So the belief was sensible.

Yet, to his surprise, when he picked up this chest from Paul's floor when they were cleaning up, the tier gave him pause, because it was a rare!

As Ben took out the silver chest from his pocket, he stared at it with a pleased smile. Although it wasn't his first time receiving one of these, getting anything beyond one's expectations was always a cause for celebration, and this was such an event. However, the rarity did drive him to consider the factors that resulted in it.

After a few seconds though, he understood the reasons. Although Tina wasn't the most innocent maiden, she possessed her own unique strengths. First, she was beautiful. This was without doubt, and even more so for a woman of her age, having maintained herself to perfection.

In fact, her milf status may have proved a bonus in and of itself, the system perhaps judging it to provide extra difficulty. After all, Ben did receive a monthly challenge to hunt a milf. However, Ben believed the major factor for her dropping a rare was also the most obvious one—she was married!

How much more difficult was it to seduce a married woman than a single one? It wasn't comparable. Encouraging a married woman to cheat meant getting her to risk years of a relationship and the stability of her life. This was no easy task. Of course, many married women cheated anyway because they didn't always weigh some of these things in a logical manner, but that wasn't Ben's issue at the moment. His only current concern, was the reward from this chest!

Nevertheless, before opening it, he believed it was appropriate to do a certain ceremony. It would be his sacrifice and his tribute, a serenade to both Tina and whatever divine beings were watching him up in the sky or down in the gutters...

*Cough* Cleared his throat in preparation, Ben's eyes became as sharp as the tip of a paper airplane...

He was ready... As for what was this homage? What else could it be? A song! No, an anthem! No--a ballad of the balls!

As his face overflowed with emotion, Ben began his version of "When You Were Young" by The Killers.

"You sit there in your…heartache~

Waiting on some cubicle-boy to~

To save you from Paul the gay~

There was a witness! Watch it now, here he comes!

He does act a bit like Beavis~

But he, talks like a hentai-man,

Like fans imagined, and he…is hung~

...

Can we slime these mountains? I don't know~

Bigger now than any before~

I know we can make it cause she is a ho~

Let's do it sleazy! Sleazy now, watch it grow!

She's jerking on the high-spray meat-vine~

On the…top of a chair paid…with Paul's earnings,

So use…your tongue~

…

So use…your tongue~

..

And sometimes you close your eyes,

Cause that's the place where you got the jizz…

Cause you…used tongue.

…

They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet~

You don't have to drink right now~

But you can come and cheat~

Every once in a…little while~

…

You sit there in your…heartache~

Waiting on some cubicle-boy to~

To save you from Paul the gay~

There was a witness!

Watch it now, here he comes!

He does act a bit like Beavis~

But he, talks like a hentai-man,

Like fans imagined, and he…is hung~

(Talks like a hentai-man, like fans imagined)

When you…got stung~

I said he does act a bit like Beavis~

…

He does act a bit like Beavis~

…

But more than you'll ever know…"

…

When he finished, Ben sighed, feeling like his soul gained some vicissitudes, and his OST...another track…

However, he hoped his prayer would get answered, and he did pray for something, for a specific item to come out of Tina's booty chest.

Holding the silver chest in his hand, Ben knew there was a very high chance it would drop a potion. Yet, of the three options he'd seen so far, there was one he hoped to get before others...the agility potion, and the reason was simple: he'd only taken one so far.

Although the side-effects were terrible, he knew what to expect when taking a second potion, but if it was a third one…

Ben shuddered at the thought. However, if they accepted the song as tribute and everything went well, it would be a non-concern today. So, without further adieu, Ben touched the chest, and opened it.

Everything didn't go well…

...

A short while later, in Ben's hand, was another strength potion…

He face-palmed as he held the damned thing. Yes, it meant increasing his strength even further, but according to the prior pattern, the pain and side-effects from this one would be even worse, maybe even...threatening his life.

'Is it safe to take it?' Full of doubts, he decided to ask the system, but she returned this:

[???]

Ben restrained himself from cursing only by reminding himself that it could always be worse. 'It could've been a poop emoji…'

There was always a bright side.

Now though, he needed to decide whether he'd take this potion at all. Yes, it would improve his strength, but at what risk?

However...it didn't take very long for Ben to deliberate. Whether it was right or wrong, he made a choice--he'd take it!

It would be risky for sure, but which part of his life these days wasn't? The system wouldn't let him rest on his ass, and at this point, Ben didn't want to either! By now, he understood that even with a system, life only gave a man so many opportunities! If one didn't take them, they might not come again!

If he stayed comfortable, then in some time, he might find others ahead of him, and himself back in a struggle. This was the kind of place the world was. This thing called living...it wasn't for the weak!

Once Ben understood this, he began to see things in a different light. There was only one choice—move forward! Evolve or die!

That's why, even knowing the risks, he planned to go down a one-way road, and for that, he prepared himself for a head-on collision...placing anything he might need within reach: water, towels, a porn mag…

He even dialed 911 on his phone and left it nearby in case he would need to call them during an emergency. Thus, with the stage set, Ben was ready. Sitting against the wall on his bed, he took the glass tube full of red liquid, pulled off the stopper, and drank it!

As the liquid passed his throat and the sharp aftertaste filled his mouth, Ben waited with patience. Yet, it didn't take long for the effects to kick in this time! And they were powerful! Much more intense than ever before!

"AHHHH!" Shaking, he howled in pain! It was like he was inside a desolate fire! A bitter burning! As if every part of his body, for the first time, was watching netorare!