Headed by a Snake

The wooden lizard knocked its clawed fists against its chest and shouted to the heavens.

"bAKE WAY FOR DIO-bEDiS, PwINCE OF DA FO-wiST!!"

...Judging by the slack-jawed quality of its speech, Tycondrius assumed that the creature's intelligence was not high.

Less than a scalekin or tree-spirit... perhaps it was more similar to a *gorgon.*

⟬ Diomedes, Adamantine-Rank Wooden Chimera. ⟭

Diomedes...

It was a Tyrion name.

Or had the fellow misspoken?

Did he... truly mean to say... Dia... beedis?

Considering Diomedes' voice and mana contained in his voice, he was an opponent appropriate for a full-sized Gold-Rank guild, at least a century strong... or perhaps a Divine Armor of sufficient strength.

Tycon had four people, including himself.

Krysaos, Wroe, and the Thunder God were mired by enemies, their battles no less important for the group's overall survival.

And, of course, Tycon had no Divine Armor in his spatial ring-- not that that was an option available to him.

He did hope that one particular pilot would be present...

No matter.

Tycon decided to engage Prince Diomedes on his own.

As ⌈Crown of the Boundless Emperor⌋ remained active, he was confident enough to survive one or two exchanges while testing the extent of the enemy's abilities.

"DIIIII-UHHHHH-BEETEEEEEEES!!!!!" Roared the chimera.

...So it was Diabetes.

⟬ Diabetes, Adamantine-Rank Wooden Chimera. ⟭

With a swipe of its massive tree-arms, it flung a series of misshapen, black fruits-- each the size of a sweetwater melon.

And, of course, on impact with a surface, they exploded in violent bursts of organic shrapnel.

Tycon was safe, still leaping from trees and mana-footholds towards his foe. However, one such melon-bomb hurtled perilously towards Captain Krysaos.

The foolish Sea God was ignorant of the danger to his life.

As for the reason? His attention focused solely on a hostile were-boar-- or to be more particular, on her many exposed breasts.

"KRYSAOS!!" Tycon shouted, empowering his voice with mana, "The infidelity of ONE of my people is MORE THAN ENOUGH!!"

⟬ ⌈Jumping Knee Counter⌋ activated. ⟭

"What?" Tycon furrowed his brows... "Bah, do as you please, System."

⟬ ⌈Jumping Knee Counter.⌋ Reaction ability. Targeted ally's physical defenses are improved against a single attack. Target is compelled to make an instantaneous unarmed strike against an enemy with increased accuracy. ⟭

So affected by the magic, Krysaos leapt directly up... roughly flipping backwards. Cycling his legs, he... kicked Prince Diabetes' melon-bomb.

Surprisingly, it did not explode.

Then... the deflected projectile collided with a certain War Troll, whereupon it *did* explode.

Tycon had many questions.

How was what Krysaos did a ⌈Jumping Knee Counter⌋?

Why did the melon not explode upon initial impact?

And... why target the troll?

Finally reaching Diabetes, Tycon landed on his body. He scaled up his chest and onto his wooden shoulders, all while swinging his Sword of Venom to defeat a flying cadre of owl-faced humanoids.

"Who... are you?!" The strongest of them asked.

⟬ Winged Assaulter, Iron-Rank Tengu Ninja. ⟭

"I am Samurai," Tycon answered absentmindedly.

"IM-POSSI-BURU!!" It yelled back before a splash of acid melted their face and beak.

Questions continued to plague Tycon's mind as he sawed his acid-sword through the hardened bark of Prince Diabetes' neck.

Why did Diabetes take the form he chose?

Were there more like him?

...Did all of them have stupid names?

Once Tycon had succeeded in cutting the chimera's neck halfway, he activated another of the Thunder God's Spell scrolls.

⌈Hurricane Scythe Kick⌋, a Fourth-Circle lightning-enchanted strike, beheaded the disgusting creature completely-- guaranteeing an end to his inane blather.

...After the job was done, he found himself wondering as to how he was able to face Diabetes with relatively little resistance.

As Tycon held fast to the behemoth crashing to the forest floor, he found his answer.

Six-eyed Ravens... Over a dozen of their burnt and blackened corpses were falling alongside him.

Tycon turned to the most plausible source.

A certain Shirtless God was smiling at him, his arm outstretched, his thumb pointed up.

A flock of the toothbirds along with their armor-rending beaks could have swiftly overwhelmed Tycon in his distracted state.

Thus, Tycon returned the thumbs-up gesture-- if awkwardly.

Despite his initial judgment, the Thunder God was worth more than his Teleportation ability. He was a strong ally with a noble heart.

Tycon was proud to fight alongside him.

He would strongly consider telling him as such if the both of them were to survive.

...

⁆ So there I was, fighting for my life while moving in the direction opposite of what I'm pretty sure was an open portal to hell. ⁅

⁆ Which hell? Not a clue. ⁅

⁆ ...Whichever had flying roaches that fed on eyeballs, sentient crimson lightning, and blood rain that melted straight through your -- ⁅

"Sea God's SOCKS!!" Krysaos shouted.

There was a big boom? Diabetes, that son of a b*tch! He must have tripped and fell over something!

As a blanket of dust and debris was coming his way, Krysaos positioned his summoned ice-tail in front of him to block, as best he could.

⁆ The crash of the wave, three masts high, threatened to bury me. ⁅

⁆ Buried on land, of all places? ⁅

⁆ I wasn't about to let that happen, so I stood my ground! ⁅

Krysaos kept his arms crossed in front of his face... but he shifted his weight, concentrating on his nether regions.

He was afraid he'd shat himself... but thankfully, all he felt was ball sweat.

⁆ The Whitesaber Tuna was an apex predator that absolutely no one could look down on. ⁅

Krysaos sighed in relief... which was the first half of a mistake.

The second half was after. When he tried to breathe in, he sucked in more dirt than air.

⁆ After all, I am Krysaos. ⁅

⁆ Captain of the Neptune's Revenge. ⁅

⁆ Mighty Sea God. ⁅

Krysaos was on his knees and blinder than a mole in a tunnel. Though he was a choking, sputtering mess, he spat out more saliva than dirt.

⁆ I'm a real piece of f*cking work. ⁅

Last he checked, the Thunder God was close by. So, he did what any reasonable Sea God would do.

"Th-thunder God!!" He cried, "Lightning... the dust... away... or do somethin' heroic or some shite!!"

"Belay that order," Said a deep voice within the dust storm... "⌈Lesser Wind Column.⌋"

A compact tornado-pillar appeared in the midst of the dirt cloud, clearing the battlefield fog in an instant. At its center was a green-haired guy in a... suspiciously clean military coat.

He adjusted his cap and rendered a salute with his sword, "Your hero has arrived."