MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

A man spawned back in the training camp in a flash of purple light. As usual, there were plenty of players whacking dummies as they got used to the game controls.

A few seconds later gasps already resounded as players noticed Jack. As he headed to the plain, they all got out of his way hurriedly. They looked like terrified little piggies having seen the big bad wolf. How silly they were! He could only shake his head.

At the plains, many were shouting recruitment messages:

“Party of 5, need one more for hunting chickens!”

“Looking for one big stick chicken warrior!”

“Looking for a carry! Paying with Vinemo!”

“Recruiting four more, sexy babes only!”

“Selling coins for IRL credi—”

“Wait…did that gold seller just get insta-banned?!”

“Haha, this is great! Those guys are so goddamn annoying!”

Indeed, Infinite had a zero-tolerance policy for such conduct. Why? Simply because they would soon release a similar feature: the Credits to Gold exchange. It would allow players to trade using Credits safely without fear of getting scammed.

The players sure were lively! They ran around in small groups, struggling to tag the newly respawned chickens (MMO equivalent of calling dibs). Then, they would struggle to defeat their target, sometimes suffering casualties or even wiping.

It went a bit like this:

“Guys, I’ve managed to tag a chicken….wait, guys? Where are you?” — Pecked to death.

“This chicken is ours! …Wait, it’s a level 4 chicken?! Fuck!” — Stomped to death.

“I’m so fucking good at dodging their charge now! Wait, what’s that?” — Eaten by a plant.

“Hell yeah, 3 Fucking Damage Baby! Chicken Warrior FTW!” — Eviscerated while gloating.

“Goddammit, the Mighty Guilds are monopolizing too many spawns, leave some for us guildess peeps!” — Devoured while complaining.

Jack couldn’t help but give a wry smile. The level 3-4 chicken areas were completely deserted. The creatures were strutting around like kings, even taunting the nearby players.

— Cluck, cluck, cluck! —

Meanwhile, the players were pressed like sardines in the level 2 chicken areas. This made for a ridiculous picture. But that’s when many waiting for their target to respawn cried out loud.

“Wait, is there someone going to challenge the higher-level chickens?”

“Oh shit, he’s back. That’s the Demon King!”

“Ah! A wolf! Oh wait, that’s his pet.”

“Arrrgggg!” — Died while distracted.

Amidst the players’ excited shouts, Jack reached his target, a level 4 chicken. Would he fight others for the level 2 chickens? Hell naw! Ain’t nobody got time for that! (Not him anyway)

The creature stared at the foolish human with its tiny yellow eyes. How many had perished under its beak and talons? Countless! These weak featherless humans were just food for it! It even posed majestically while looking down on Jack.

What was up with this chicken? Why was it so arrogant? Oh well, without waiting he attacked it. The chicken didn’t even bother to dodge. Was 1-3 damage frightening? Nope, it got ready to counterattack instead!

As the Cluckinator connected with the monster, many jumped in shock.

– 9

What the fuck?! How could his damage be so high?! This guy had the power of 3 chicken warriors combined. The chicken felt a sense of doom looming over it as it charged with all its might.

But, all that Jack did was side-step it with perfect timing. Hell, one side of the creature’s beak even slid on his ear. While it was in the air, he kept the assault going.

-8

-9

The chicken landed, turned around, and pecked at the ankles of the man. It would destroy his goddamn legs, and then the fight would be his. Sadly for it, his victim had already jumped.

To the bystanders, it appeared as if Jack just nonchalantly raised his foot with the chicken throwing itself under his boot. Wait…just the fact that he had shoes was impressive enough!

Jack slashed the chicken some more as he literally walked all over it.

-7

-9

The poor chicken rolled on itself and prepared to fight to its last breath. It wouldn’t let itself get hunted so easily. It gave the most ferocious cluck of its entire life and—

-8

Well, it sadly ran out of HP before it could enact vengeance.

+16 XP

Oh? It seemed the system had added XP prompts. It would keep the players motivated in their quest for world genocide.

As the chicken began to disappear in red particles, the surroundings players couldn’t help but stare with bulging eyes. This had been a level 4 chicken, right?! They had trouble hunting the level 2 ones!

Jack quickly got to work. It was time to collect the loot! As the other saw him grab his butcher knife, they instantly became nauseous and began shaking.

Now, how far was he from level 3? Level 2 (204/ 270) Oh well, this would go pretty quickly, wouldn’t it?

Jack kept happily hunting. He somehow turned his brain off, going into grinding mode and letting his instinct take the wheel. He was absent-minded while thinking about how to capitalize on his newfound reputation.

He began unconsciously humming, then straight up singing, louder and louder. His singing was so off-key and discordant that it gave a headache to the listeners. But, that sentiment soon turned to fear as they listened to the lyrics…

?

I lived my life poverty-stricken

But today, a new fate I’ll carve

From now on, never will I starve

Every day I’ll eat so much chicken

?

Someone call animal protection

Soon, no more chicken population

Cause I’m about to murder them all

The entire damn ecosystem will fall

?

Even then, I am unrepentant

I won’t even bother to look back

All for that XP, so resplendent!

We players are homicidal maniacs!

?

Let it be known, let it resound

Soon it won’t be just chickens

Infinite will be my playground

Until all are terror-stricken!

?

They call me the Demon King

That’s such an insane fallacy

Not only the demons under my wings

Nope, one day it will be all of humanity

?

They all stared at him shaking. Did this guy really plan to enslave them all?! Logically there was no way that such a thing was possible, and yet they somehow still felt threatened.

Some, on the contrary, shook in excitement. It seemed like they had underestimated him. He was even crazier than they had thought! Was the wolf attack just a taste of what was to come?

But what the hell would soon happen? There was no way that the big guilds would tolerate a lone player with such wild ambition! It would quickly turn into a bloodbath, wouldn’t it? They could already picture the Demon King being hunted by all.

At that moment, many couldn’t help but feel regret. Why the heck had they been so unlucky to spawn here?! Why couldn’t they spawn in a typical village free of drama?!

While singing, Jack massacred chickens at a pace that would have prompted a slaughterhouse to consider him a menace!

On the side, the Mighty Wolves were grinning to their ears. They had an alliance with that guy!

As for the Mighty Dragons, they felt a knot in their stomach as a sense of urgency rose in them. This guy was probably leveling about ten times faster than them right now! This was all because he wasn’t sharing the XP with a party.

They had planned to lay a trap for him slowly. But he had already found some gear, and now he was even leveling faster than all of them! At this rate, they would soon be unable to kill him!

They began whispering to one another:

“Boss, do you think we should make peace with him?”

“Do you think peace ever was an option? In our first encounter, we killed him, and don’t forget the deep-rooted enmity we have with the Mighty Wolves. They’re really close to one another and even have an alliance going.” The leader sighed.

“But, Boss, what will it even accomplish if we kill him? He won’t even lose XP, and there’s no way he’ll lose all his gear, right? He’ll be able to keep farming chickens in the peace zone either way….”

“All we can do is prove that he isn’t invincible. Having the unbeatable Demon King as our enemy will affect our recruitment negatively. We can also use his death to gain fame, no matter how unfair the fight is.” The leader explained.

They all nodded in understanding.

Once more, they realized how troublesome it was to manage a guild. What appeared as needless arrogance to others was backed by very logical concerns. To a guild, reputation was money AND power!

They were stuck between a rock and a fucking Demon King. They all turned to the man that was still hunting chickens. Seeing him suddenly laugh happily.

Jack regained his senses as he heard a level-up chime. Nice, he had finally leveled up! Level 4 (14/1250)…Oh, twice actually, wow! This meant he had killed 40ish chickens already. Time sure goes fast when you’re having fun!

As he turned around, he could sense so many gazes on him, with players loudly gulping whenever he looked their way. What was wrong with them?

Could he have shown something weird while farming? No, it couldn’t be. There wasn’t any secret to hunting chickens, even for a ranker. So why were they all reacting like that?

Oh well, whatever. ˉ▁(-_-)▁/ˉ

He just spent his hard-earned (?) attribute points very carefully…or not. He just added it all into STR! He’d branch out soon, just not now. He had to collect more magical skills before heavily investing in INT!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

STR: 13 + 1

AGI: 1 + 3

INT: 1

SPI: 1 + 1

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Just as he was smiling at his newfound strength, a familiar man ran toward him at full speed: CPR dude. He seemed excited yet wary as his brows kept quivering.

He stopped right next to him and opened his mouth.

“I won’t help you guys hunt chickens if that’s what you want. You have to gain experience.” Jack preemptively denied.

“That’s not it! Some random player told us about a rare plant in the forest. If the information turns out to be accurate, we’ll reward him. I thought you’d be interested, but I’m just not sure if the guy is reliable.”

“I see. What color is the plant?”

“Eh, he said orange with blue—”

“There’s a 99% chance that it’s fake then.”

“It has to be a trap then! Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it and—”

“You will do no such thing. I’ll be going, alone.” Jack instructed.

“What?! But why?! At least let us protect you and—”

“Nope, later!” He decisively left, lazily waving goodbye.

Jack was heading toward what could only be an ambush without hesitation. After all, butchering humans was good XP….

Creator’s Thought

Grinding mobs can be so peaceful. The feeling of your weapon penetrating the flesh, the cries of pain and anger, the movement of your body as you dodge, the feeling of becoming stronger on strike at a time. Once you find the proper rhythm, it all becomes so relaxing.