Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Eguchi Ren: Thank you to everyone who bought the all the books and manga, including the side stories!

Thank you for your continuous support of Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“Haahhh… I’m exhausted…” I sighed as I trudged into the house.

“What are you talking about? You did almost nothing,” Fer sneered.

“Mental exhaustion is a real thing!” I snapped. “I suffered the most mental attacks during this ‘fun hunting party’ you know?!”

““Let’s go there again later!””

“”This time, Sui wants to take down one alone~~””

“”Not if I did it first!””

“Dora-chan, Sui, this is why we are never going there ever again.”

“”Haahhh???””

“”Nuu~~??””

“Sui, don’t do that…”

“Master, if you’re worried about them going extinct, please rest assured. There are more of them now than when I saw them last.”

“Umu, as Grandpa Gon says, there are more than just cubs around. There are plenty of breeding adults too.”

“That’s not it… I mean, that’s not the only reason. It’s too miserable to see them being hunted down so one-sidedly like that. Too pitiful…”

““One sided? Hmm, I supposed it could be interpreted as that. We are certainly strong, aren’t we, Sui?””

“”Strong~! Sui is strong~!!””

These two little…

“Umu, it certainly can’t be helped if we are too strong,” Fer nodded smugly.

“Tis the fate of the strong. For Fer and myself, we have no enemies that could even be considered as rivals aside from each other.”

“… …”

Although I am well aware that my familiars are strong, like, super powerful etc etc, this kind of excessive boasting was still…

“Not to mention, haven’t our fights against other monsters always been one-sided anyway, Master?”

“You’re right. However, no Dragon Turtles for the time being. That’s final.”

“Why?”

“”Yeah! Yeah! Why??!!””

“Gunununu… those pitiful creatures… despite their huge sizes and seemingly powerful shells, the only thing they could do was shrink their limbs into their shells and wait for death. It’s just… too miserable!”

“”But that’s natural, right? It’s the law of the fittest after all,”” said Dora-chan matter-of-factly.

“Umu, it is as Dora said,”

“Indeed.”

For a moment, I did nothing but stand in place and stare at them. Then, I grabbed Dora-chan and proceeded to drill his cheeks with my fists.

““Uwaaahh–!!! Stop! Stop! Stop!””

Dora-chan is tiny but extremely powerful, I really ought to be afraid, but right now I’m too angry to be afraid

“”Fuhahahaha!! Stop it! Stop it!!””

While I was busy squeezing those cheeks, [1] someone appeared at the entrance to the living room. It was Guild Master Willem. He stood at the entrance with his arms crossed and a frightening expression on his face.

Um…

“Er, we’re back…” I said lamely.

“Well, well, well, it looks like you’ve had a lot of fun, eh?”

“Oh, well, just a little hunting…” I beamed. [2] “I did… tell you that’s what we’re doing, right?”

“So, you did,” his eye twitched.

“Yes, yes, I did.”

[2] I just know that he wanted to blame me for my familiars going out hunting, but luckily I had already nipped that issue in the bud. The last thing I need is someone telling me to control my familiars when they literally start shaking at the mere sight of a frown from Fer or Grandpa Gon.

Finally, he sighed and said, “Anyway, the Leviathan dismantling job would begin soon. Could you please do your absolute best to rest quietly while we prepare for the job?”

“Yes, well… there’s nothing I’d like more than to rest quietly, but…”

“How can you say such irresponsible words! This-”

On and on, he nagged for close to an hour. My faithful familiars, who had rushed forward eagerly to crush Dragon Turtles, had slunk off to various corners of the house to nap. Leaving me to take the brunt of Willem-san’s nagging.

Ugh, I’d like to leave, but I know from his bloodshot eyes that if I don’t take one for the team, this poor man would probably bust a vein in his head and probably die from an aneurysm. So, I stood in place and took it.

Finally, the nagging wound down and Willem-san sighed and said, “So, what have you been hunting?”

“Um, well, we bagged a few Dragon Turtles…” I said casually, hoping against hope that this was not a big deal…

Willem-san had gone completely silent.

“… …”

“… …”

“Say that again? I think I misheard you…”

“Uh, we, uh, hunted a few… Dragon Turtles.”

“… haaahhhh…..”

I looked at him with some trepidation. Is he going to start nagging again?

“Say, don’t tell me you’re planning to take those Dragon Turtle…s to the Royal Capital Adventurer’s Guild?”

“Well…”

“Don’t even think about it! The entire Royal Capital Adventurers Guild is now in the midst of scrambling for people to dismantle the Leviathan. We don’t have anyone to spare for other kinds of work, alright? Certainly not for something like a Dragon Turtle!!”

“I-is that so…”

Well, there goes my plan to have someone quickly dismantle one of the Dragon Turtles for my familiars.

“Yes, goodness. A Dragon Turtle… haahhh, the last time a Dragon Turtle was hunted down was about 15 years ago. It was thanks to that achievement that I became a guild master. The money we redeemed from that creature enabled all four of us to retire as Adventurers.”

“O-oh?”

“Indeed, the shells are especially valuable since they could be made into swords, spears, shields and, of course, armour.”

“I see, so the shells are very valuable? I wonder… would damaging the shells lower their value? I mean, it can’t lower it too much, right? Since the shells had to be broken down to be made into various things…”

Willem-san was looking at me as though I was an idiot. “What are you talking about? Broken shell? The shell of a Dragon Turtle can’t be so easily damaged. Do you know just how much effort it takes to even make a scratch? The only way to attack a Dragon Turtle was to harass it endlessly at the opening points with magic. Fire magic!”

“Uh…”

“…it took us two days of non-stop attacking to eventually weaken and defeat the Dragon Turtle, even so, we had to continuously replenish our mage’s magic with potions and took turns harassing it to make sure it didn’t leave. Our main saving grace is the creature’s slow movement and…”

Woah, sounds like a lot of work. In fact, his party’s strategy was not much different than my familiars’. The only difference is the time taken to ‘take down’ the poor Dragon Turtle. Either a slow, prolonged suffering or a quick one…

“… I supposed all of this had nothing to do with your party, huh?” Willem-san had covered his face with his hands. “Don’t tell me, your familiars took it down with one attack?”

“Um…”

“Fine, whatever. Don’t say anything, Carelina’s Guild will buy the Dragon Turtle from you later so, please, please, please, don’t say anything to anyone here.”

“Uh, sure? But I should tell you that we have three Dragon Turtles that need to be processed-”

“Hold it. Three?!”

“Yes? Also, one has a cracked shell and the other… well, that one’s shell is shattered. I collected the shell pieces since it looked valuable…”

“Sh-shattered… shattered…”

Guild Master Willem-san looked pretty shattered at the moment. Not that I blame him. I feel you, sir.

“A-anyway, just show me once we get back to Carelina and we’ll discuss it!”

“Yes, alright,” I said soothingly.

“Also, make sure not to say anything about this! In fact, don’t say anything to anyone at all! I’m begging you!”

The Guild Master was shaking me by the shoulders, but really, I had no intention of making a fuss. I, Mukouda, am more than happy to live a lowkey life, sir.

With the Guild Master’s instructions, we have no choice (hehe) but to live a lowkey life for the rest of our 10-day wait. Fer and the others grumbled a lot, but I had a lot of fun browsing the shops of the Royal Capital.

It was pretty fun to live the life of a filthy rich man who could buy whatever thing caught my eye. I just pay cash for everything and load them up in my [Item Box], hehe.

It soon got a little expensive, but I think I earned it. Retail therapy is a thing after all, and I needed it after the trauma of seeing how my familiars mistreated those poor Dragon Turtles.

One of the things I bought was tea, all kinds of high-end teas that were not available at Carelina. [3] I had a fine time tasting and sampling all kinds of fine tea and talking about the various aspects of tea with the proprietor.

Naturally, I left the store with plenty of different teas.

The store proprietor even recommended some Opatrny honey. The same honey that was gifted to me in fact! Naturally, I had to buy some. It was an impulse buy, but not one that I regretted at all.

That evening, I made hotcakes for everyone and poured Optarny honey in place of maple syrup. Woah, it was amazing~

The entire bottle of honey was gone in no time at all.

Sui especially loved it.

I must buy more tomorrow~~

For the rest of the week, I ran around the shops, spreading wealth and happiness, purchasing souvenirs for my workers and looking at all sorts of things that a large city has to offer.

Finally, it was the day before the scheduled Dismantling Day.

We went to bed with excitement and trepidation.

Excitement, because Leviathan!

Trepidation, because… of a certain troublesome elf…

Oh well, that’s for the Mukouda of tomorrow to handle. For now, let’s go to bed.

[Gumihou: Deleted a merry-go-round dialogue of ‘so’, ‘it’s here’, ‘yes’ etc etc and summarised everything into a 10 word sentence.]

[1] It was supposed to be Mukouda ‘walk into the living room while drilling Dora-chan’s cheeks’, but it was logistically unsound, so make it happen in some other way instead.

[2] Change from ‘leave a note’ to ‘already informed’ because Gumi changed this detail in the s. The scene where Willem scolded Mukouda for ‘not controlling his familiars’ was not funny at all.

[3] Elaborated on the tea habit since tea nerds could really talk about tea all day, every day (Gumi is a tea snob)