Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Gumihou: Have Mukouda run away from reality more realistically.

The people from [Ark] were looking at me with pity in their eyes.

Why are you doing that?!

It’s not like we deal with S Class monsters all the time.

Well, we do encounter S Class monsters from time to time, but it’s still pretty rare, you know?? Also, the ones that dealt with those monsters were Fer & Co.

I merely spectate from the side…

…there is a reason why I wanted to be a merchant in the first place!

I want to be like Lambert-san and open a shop and do business, but no matter how much I wish for it, I somehow ended up becoming an Adventurer instead. Well, I do sell things from time to time, but my main job now is Adventuring!

Now that I think about it, haven’t we been doing a lot of dungeon challenges lately?

Fer and the rest like going into dungeons, but why am I being dragged into them as well?

Also, we always blow through the upper floors just to challenge monsters from the lower floors…

Wait, is this why the people from the [Ark] are giving me pitying looks?

That’s…

It’s not all danger and gruesome fights you know? We get loads of great stuff fighting monsters and I get to spend time with my familiars…

In fact, you could say that my current lifestyle is pretty fun with lots of interesting things happening.

Haha.

H-hey, look at the time.

It’s time to cook!

Wow, it’s pretty hot at the beach, right?

Let’s make something cool and refreshing.

Cool, refreshing and easy to make. Um, didn’t we collect loads of Giant Scallops the other day? A Cold Scallop Pasta sounds good.

Yes.

Ah, wait, the meat, meat, meat faction might start complaining and bug me about the lack of meat. Let’s not waste my scallops on them.

If that’s the case…

How about a cold Pork Shabu-shabu Pasta? Made with Dungeon Pork?

I think I still have some thinly sliced Dungeon Pork lying around… oh, there it is. Now that I have confirmed the meat and recipe, let’s gather the other ingredients.

…speaking of which, I can still make the Cold Scallop Pasta, right?

The meat, meat, meat team can eat more of the Cold Pork Shabu-shabu Pasta…

“When it comes to Pork Shabu-shabu, it has to be paired with a sesame seed sauce, right? As for the vegetable, let’s go with [1] mizuna~”

I’m missing the white sesame seeds paste and mizuna, which I had to buy while hidden behind my conveniently huge magic stove. Hohoho~

I’m definitely not hiding from their pitying eyes.

Anyway, look at my beautiful stove! Six pots of water simmering at once! Three with salted water to poach the (cut to bite-size pieces) scallops and the other three to scald the thinly sliced pork.

After the pork and scallops had been scalded/poached, I took them out and set them in colanders to drip dry for a bit before putting them into the magic cooler box to chill.

Next, boil the pasta. While the water for the pasta was boiling away, I finely chopped some onions for the cold pasta. To reduce the spiciness level, I soaked the chopped onions in cold water for a bit. I also diced some tomatoes to go with the Cold Scallop Pasta.

By the way, both onions and tomatoes are grown by Alban.

For the Pork Shabu-shabu Pasta, all I have to do was chop up the mizuna greens and mix it into a large bowl of sesame seed sauce.

[2] By the way, the type of pasta I use is vermicelli, a thinner type of pasta noodle which absorbs the cold sauce better and cooks a little faster without becoming mushy.

After draining the boiled pasta, I ran it through an ice bath to quickly cool it down. All I had to do next is mix in the sauce and ingredients, and it was done!

Voila! Cold Scallop Pasta and Cold Pork Shabu-shabu Pasta!

“It’s done!”

I would like to put some shredded perilla leaves on the Cold Scallop Pasta and maybe some radish sprouts on the Cold Pork Shabu-shabu pasta, but that would mean opening up [Next Super] again. Now that the food is done, I have too many eyes on me, it’s better to not make any suspicious movements.

“Time to eat!”

The words were barely out of my mouth when everyone rushed forward.

[3] Everyone received two plates of pasta from the get-go, they can ask for seconds according to their choices later.

[3] If this was a normal crowd, I’d ask which one they would like before serving, but since my familiars (and Feodora-san) are all big eaters and the other Adventurers have a healthy appetite from Adventuring, it felt like the right thing to do.

Pasta is incredibly filling, but I had a feeling that everyone could eat at least two plates. However, just in case my estimates were wrong, let’s just serve the men (and dwarf) slightly smaller plates of pasta.

“Woah, I never thought noodles could be eaten cold like this. It’s so refreshing and delicious!”

“Which one do you prefer?”

“Both are good!”

“Hmm, I like the one with meat better,”

“The one with scallops feels so refined.”

“…seconds…”

“Feodora, restrain yourself…”

“Hahaha…” it was still rather terrifying to see Feodora-san casually slurped down her food and, is she swallowing without chewing? Never mind, here are your seconds.

This time, I took the slightly more troublesome road by making my own sesame seed sauce with sesame seed paste. However, if you want a shortcut version of the Scallop Pasta, you can also use storebought Sesame Seed Dressing or even Japanese-style salad dressing straight from a bottle.

This super easy, super delicious pasta dish was something I used to make a lot during summer.

My familiars also ate very well, although there was an obvious preference for pork over scallops, as expected.

After the refreshing meal, everyone settled down with cold 100% apple juice since I refused to serve alcohol during dungeon challenges. There ought to be a rule somewhere in this world equivalent to ‘Don’t drink and dungeon dive!’

While we were relaxing with our apple juice, Gideon-san suddenly said, “Say, Mukouda-san received some Drop items from the Charybdis, right? What did you get?”

“Umu, a monster that huge and terrifying…” Siegwald-san suddenly sat up, “I’d like to know too. For reference, of course.”

“Me too!”

I was in the middle of pouring Feodora-san’s third glass of apple juice and was contemplating just giving her one of the gallon bottles when this question was asked.

Ah.

Well, I guess it’s only natural for everyone to be curious, especially serious dungeon challengers like the [Ark].

“I think, there’s a magic stone, a fang and a… treasure chest.”

As expected, everyone immediately perked up at the mention of the ‘treasure chest’.

“Hoho~~ I wonder what’s inside~~?”

“It would certainly be interesting to know…”

“Could you tell us?”

Feodora-san was drinking directly from a 2-litre bottle and not paying attention to us. In the end, I could not bring myself to give her the gallon bottle, what if I gave her diabetes?

“Well,” I said. “I haven’t opened it yet…”

Bright eyes continued to stare at me.

“…I guess I could open it now…”

I pull the Treasure Chest of Charybdis out from my [Item Box] under everyone’s stare. When I put this thing away, I was half-delirious with fear and nausea, so I was equally curious about its contents now.

The chest itself was a deep indigo blue with a finely wrought wave design, very appropriate for a sea quest treasure chest. It was also inlaid with diamonds, pearls and other gems.

Gaudino-san stared at it for a moment and muttered, “The chest itself is already worth a fortune.”

Gideon-san and Siegwald-san nodded.

It was certainly the most luxurious-looking treasure chest I had ever seen thus far.

Gulping, I stretched out my hand and… oops, let’s [Appraise] it for traps first… no traps, so let’s open it…

I pushed open the lid of the Treasure Chest of Charybdis and peered in with the rest.

“… …”

Inside was a tiara. [4] A tiara dripping, nay, practically choking with sapphires, diamonds and pearls. It was… something, alright. After getting over the shock of its possible value, I realised that the actual tiara looks… kind of tacky…

“Well, that’s something, huh,” was Gideon-san’s comment.

“Would the Adventurer’s Guild take it…” I wondered out loud. My party have zero interest in jewels after all.

“Impossible. More like, very, very unlikely, since a treasure of such value could cause a war,” said Siegwald-san.

“Eh? What? Eh??” my nerves immediately went taut at the words ‘cause a war’.

“Mukouda-san, what do you know about pearls?”

“Um, they are pearls? Made by oysters?” I said, a little confused.

“I guess you don’t, huh,” Siegwald-san made a solemn ‘hmmmm’ sound before saying seriously, “Listen here, pearls are some of the rarest, most valuable stones out there.”

“What? Why? Aren’t things like sapphires and diamonds more valuable?” I was really confused now.

“As you say, pearls are made by oysters. Specifically, Giant Pearl Oyster monsters. A long time ago, they were overhunted for their pearls and are very rare now. Moreover, not all Giant Pearl Oysters could produce pearls. Only oysters of a certain age could produce pearls.”

“Woah,” I guess no one thought of farming these Giant Pearl Oysters?

“Very few are found each year. Pearls may look simple but they are very elegant and are statements of great wealth and taste. Upperclass women especially favoured them.”

“Ah, so it’s a demand thing,” I said, nodding.

“A great demand,” he agreed. “When I was a youngling, I once caught a glimpse of a pearl brought to our village for setting. It was sent in by some royal family. I remember that it was guarded all the way in. That single pearl was smaller than the ones on this tiara and the chest… To think that I am now looking at pearls of near-perfect spheres, no distortion and the size… I can’t believe there are pearls this large, and so many too… it’s unthinkable…”

Gaudino-san and Gideon-san switched their gazes to me, as though asking ‘What are you going to do about this?’

“…please pretend you never saw anything…” was all I could say.

From Siegwald-san’s explanation, I cannot bring myself to believe that ‘would cause a war’ was an exaggeration. If pearls represent more than just monetary value…

I can only let this tacky-looking tiara and the chest it came in sleep forever in my [Item Box].

[Gumihou: Why don’t they just farm those monster oysters I wonder… or, they could rope off an area where these monsters live? Similar to the Eastern Pearls. Eastern pearls are river pearls and are only used by the royal family. The pearls are prized because it is rare to find river pearls that are as round and lustrous. So, again, it was a ‘rarity’ thing that made it valuable. Regular sea pearls are actually more beautiful and lustrous, but Eastern Pearls are prized for their rarity]

[1] Mizuna – a variation of the ‘brassica’, genus plants in the cabbage and mustard family.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mizuna

This bit of info reminds me of the ‘Wild Broccoli’ from Divine Cuisine Broadcaster…

Hahaha…

[2] Add some cooking details

[3] Adjust serving details, and reduce fiddly and unnecessary details.

[4] Added some more details to the tiara