Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Gumihou: Hmm, comedic scenes galore. The execution was a bit awkward, but that’s ok! Gumi is here to save the humour!

The next morning.

After a hearty breakfast (for my familiars), I allowed myself a little time to chill with a cup of coffee in the living room.

Fer, Grandpa Gon, Dora-chan and Sui were having cola.

[1] There a no way my stomach could tolerate having sweet carbonated drinks so early in the morning, so I got my caffeine fix from a more generic source.

[1] Anyway, there’s something I really wanted to speak to my familiars about, hence the cola during breakfast.

“Hey, there’s something I want everyone’s help with. Are you guys alright with it?”

“Mu, I want to go hunting, but I supposed,” was Fer’s typical tsundere answer.

“Since it’s the Master’s request, of course.”

“”I want to go hunting too, but Master is the provider of delicious food, so I guess I have no choice but to help you,””

Just where did Dora-chan pick up this tsundere way of speaking? Oh, wait…

“”Sui will help Aruji~~””

“Ah, my Sui-tan is the best~~”

“Oi, are the rest of us invisible?!”

“What is it that Master wants our help with?”

“Right, you know those trees behind the servant’s houses? We need to clear it so that we can build more buildings there.”

[2a]

“Trees? A single Wind Cutter from me could destroy an entire forest,” Fer said proudly.

[3a] “Fer is banned from joining.”

[3a] “Nanu??!!”

[3b] “Hmm, am I correct to assume that Master wishes for more finesse assistance?”

[3b] “Hey! I can do finesse too!”

[3a] Ignoring the quarrel that was happening behind me, I made my way towards the servant’s quarters with Sui and Dora-chan.

[4]

“Hey Alban, ah, could you call the others over here?”

I had my servants (slaves) gathered before the servant’s quarters and inform them about my plans to bring in more people, hence the need to add more living space.

“Costi, as the person in charge of communicating with Lamberts, I’m sure you of all people would know the numbers?”

With a troubled look on his little face, Costi-kun said, “Y-yes, we have done our best to keep up with the orders. Even the gatekeepers would come and help during their break, but I feel bad because it’s supposed to be their break…”

“I see, well, that’s what happens when a business grows. Costi, I’ll trust you to continue managing the business. We’ll be getting more workers soon, so things should settle down a bit. Ah, if Lambert-san is giving you a hard time, do let me know, alright?”

“Yes!”

[4]

“Right, shall we get to it?”

“Excuse me…”

“Hmm? Yes, Theresa?”

It was rare for the female servants (except for Lotte) to speak up, so I’m curious to hear why Theresa called me out.

“May I know what would happen to the trees once they have been felled?”

“I guess we’ll clear them away?” I haven’t thought about it, maybe I could just put them in my [Item Box] and throw them out in the forest later?

“Would it be alright for me to have them?”

“You want the felled trees?”

“Yes, well, to be precise, I would like to collect it as firewood.”

“Oh? Oh! Oh, I see, for the oven?”

“Indeed, we bake fresh bread every day and have used up most of the fallen branches around the garden. We’ve actually been purchasing firewood from outside. So…”

“Ah, no, no, no, I mean, yes. It’s fine for you to have it. Um, do you want us to cut it to a certain length or trim the bark?”

“No, no, it’s fine to stack the trees to one side,” [1] said Alban. “We can cut it down to size later. The leaves and branches could be composted. If there’s enough wood, we can even build a shed for the firewood from the felled trees.”

“Ah, yes, very good.” As expected of frugal and resourceful farmers. Here I was, planning to just throw the trees away… Speaking of wasteful people, “What are you two doing here?”

“It’s our day off today,” said Luke.

“We heard that Fer-sama and the others would be cutting down trees? We want to see it,” said Irvine.

“Sounds fun,”

“Yeah, very fun~”

“… …”

Yeah, let’s just ignore those two.

[1a] Putting thought into action, I made my way to the area behind the servants’ quarters and surveyed the trees again. For some reason, the trees here were fairly huge. It was as though someone had decided to build this mansion in the middle of a forest, but had left this patch of trees alone when clearing the area.

[1a] Some of the trees were positively massive, although the majority of them were tall and rather thin for their height.

“Umu, I shall cut this one.”

“What? I thought you were not participating, Fer?”

“Of course I am. I shall be cutting this tree. I can do finesse magic.”

The tree in question was one of the thickest.

“Then, I shall cut this one,” said Grandpa Gon.

““Tch, all the big ones are taken. Guess I’ll have this one,”” grumbled Dora-chan.

““Sui will pick this one~~””

[3c]

“Are we seriously doing it this way?” I asked.

There was a chorus of ‘yes’, to which I posed this next question, “Can you control where the tree falls?”

“U-umu, I can use Wind Magic to make it fall where I want…”

“Away from the fence, the building and the field?”

“O-of course! I can control it all!!”

“Right, I’ve seen enough, we are aborting the plan. Everyone, step away from your tree.”

There was a series of ‘awwws’ from them, but I really can’t trust my destructive familiars to properly do the job without causing damage. Do I have to get professionals in? I mean, Japan’s demolition teams are good enough to break down a building without touching the ones on the sides… I expect they could also fell trees safely, but these guys…

“Pukukuku, looks like this mission is too challenging, eh?”

“Pffft, it would be a great nuisance if they damage the house.”

I turned to the idiot twins. Hmm…

[2]

“Luke, Irvine, come over here.”

“Eh?”

“What?”

[1c]

“As for you guys, you can sit on the side and watch these guys work. Sui, if it looks like something is about to fall on the roof or the fence, grab it with your tentacles and stop it; Dora-chan, you help spot if a tree is falling wrong; Grandpa Gon, if you could cast barrier against falling trees around the house it would be great; Fer, cast one for the fence. Everyone knows what to do?”

“Umu, it sounds kind of boring…”

“I have cast a strong barrier around the house.”

“”Sui is ready~~!!””

“”I’m ready too!””

“U-umu, the barrier around the fence has been cast.”

[1c]

“Good job everyone,” I said. “As for you two…”

[3d]

I rummaged through my [Item Box]. I had debated with myself whether to reveal these but, since they’re my slaves (I said it!!) and are bound by magic to never reveal my secrets, I can probably reveal some things.

The first item I brought out was a large axe taken from Brixt’s dungeon.

“!!!!!”

“Th-that axe…”

“Woah…”

“Well?” I said a little impatiently, “Take it and chop that tree down.”

“!!!!!”

“If you do a good job, I’ll reward you.”

“Ou!”

“Let’s go!!”

While the twins ran off with the battle axe, Fer grumbled, “Hey, that’s our reward.”

“You’ll be rewarded too if you protect my houses and fence properly.”

“Kuh…”

Not long after that, the kon kon kon, of an axe hitting wood was heard. As I had half expected, the twins had chosen the largest tree to start with. [2c]

Hmm, the twins were doing a rather slow job-

[3e]

Craaashhh!!!

“Oi!! You idiots! You nearly crush the fence!”

Indeed, the overly enthusiastic twins with the huge battle axe had chopped the tree down fairly quickly, but the tree had not fallen to the area we expected. It bounced off another tree, crushed a few others and caused some thinner trees to smash against Fer’s barrier.

“Good job, Fer,” I called as I continued to look through the [Item Box] for something suitable to use for felling trees.

Sui’s Mithril Sword? Hmm, it’s sharp but trees have to be chopped rather than cut. The spear was definitely out, so…

Hold on, I still have these:

– Magic Sword Caladbolg

– Magic Sword Hrunting

– Magic Sword Gram

– Magic Sword Eckesachs

[5] I got the first sword defeating the Behemoth at Doran’s Dungeon. As for the rest, they were from Grandpa Gon’s stash.

[5] Anyway, I laid out the swords in front of me to study them.

Magic Sword Caladbolg – rejected for being too heavy

Magic Sword Hrunting – hmm, looks too thin for chopping wood. It looks more like a piercing weapon

Magic Sword Gram – the blade is kind of long, but not bad I guess?

Magic Sword Eckesachs – hmm…

I picked up Eckesachs and swung it around experimentally when-

[2d]

“Hiiiii!!!!”

“I-is that… that…”

“A-are those… those…”

“Oh,” I said in my this-is-all-perfectly-normal voice, “they are Magic Swords. I picked them up from one of my dungeon dives.”

“…hahaha, Irvine, our Master is certainly extraordinary.”

“…ahahaha, Luke, our Master is anything but ordinary.”

Ignoring the two crazily laughing Beastmen, I picked up Gram and swung it experimentally at a tree trunk. Not the other massively large tree, but a reasonably sized one.

The blade passed through the trunk like a chef’s knife through tofu.

“Chuoooohhhhh!!!”

“What heckkkkkkk!!!”

“Hmm,” I looked at the sword with a more appreciative eye. Goodness, this blade is certainly something.

“Right, I choose you, Gram! Now, let’s go take down the trees.”

“W-with a Magic Sword? S-someone… tell me this is a dream, a dream!!”

“M-more like a nightmare, please let it be a nightmare…”

“Get it together you two, time to work,” I said.

[Gumihou: A lot of potentially comedic parts were a bit forced. So adjusted it]

[1] Added details

[1a] Give the ‘tree-filled area’ a little more details

[1b] Bonus Japanese demolition team info.

https://www.viatechnik.com/the-japanese-way-of-demolishing-structures/

[1c] Increased Mukouda’s competency levels. As the saying goes, we do not have to eat pork to know what a running pig looks like. Mukouda should be surrounded by various levels of construction work done in Japan, so he should have some ideas about safety, security etc.

Incorporate practical magic here.

[2] Deleted:

[2a] Deleted why the trees needed to be cleared because, believe it or not, we did learn why just a couple of chapters ago.

[2b] Deleted ridiculous questions from Mukouda:

– Can you (the familiars) cut the tree? (like, seriously?)

[2c] Deleted ‘this is boring, I’m gonna nap’ scene because [1c]. Competent!Mukouda had put them to work.

[2d] Summarised the twin’s reaction from 200 words to hiiii!!

[3] Comedic Scenes:

[3a] Insert Mukouda’s sassy personality here. Cut off the ‘I can cut trees too x 3’ dialogue because it’s draggy.

[3b] Insert Grandpa Gon’s sassy ‘one up’ personality that we haven’t seen for quite some time now.

[3c] There’s a forced comedic scene here where Mukouda ‘suddenly realised’ that cutting the trees would cause damage to the nearby buildings and ‘panicked’.

Redid it with a blasé Mukouda and increasingly self-doubting familiars in place of panic!Mukouda and dishwater personality!familiars.

[3d] Redid the comedic scene with the twins. It was kind of generic at first, with a lot of Yeah! Go! Let’s do it!

Adjust for a slightly less cliché situation with competent!Mukouda

[3e] Add tree crashing scene, because it was not there. Make it comedic too.

[4] Create a reasonable ‘inform the servants what’s happening’ scene

[5] Magic Sword details could be found in Chapter 445~

Also, for some strange reason, Mukouda was narrating the whole process. Switch it to silent mental deliberations.

Hrunting – Sword given to Beowulf by Unferth the ancient

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hrunting

Gram – Gram or Gramr (meaning wrath) is the sword that Sigurd used to kill the dragon Fafnir

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gram_(mythology)

Eckesachs – Is a divine sword that appears in Fire Emblem: The Binding Blade

https://fireemblem.fandom.com/wiki/Eckesachs