The Loner Who Conquers the Other World

Day 57 – Afternoon, Dungeon.

Well, I’ve already given up on this, but as expected, the idiots keep using boomerangs for clubbing monsters with all their strength. Throw them, damn it!

After all the trouble I went to make giant 2-meter boomerangs they are reduced to blunt weapons. Well, even if they do throw them, they end up chasing after it? Should I make a frisbee next? At this point, they look like they might chase after a bone if one was thrown to them, so maybe a giant bone? That’s not even a weapon anymore. While the idiots running around with giant bones seem very fitting and natural, how would that be different from primitive men? Well, considering that the primitive men made their weapons by themselves, they were definitely smarter. This much is unmistakably clear.

Grouping up with everyone we head to the middle floors. As expected, the difference in movement speed began to show up. Numerous issues emerge when it comes to mobile warfare, but Pres-sama will resolve that somehow, I mean, there is no one who can disobey Pres-sama when she wields 『Chain Whip of Savage Lightning』. After all, the name Pres-sama has stuck by now, although she herself is on the verge of crying, it can’t be helped since it fits so well. Her reign is so firm that we might as well go ahead and destroy the kingdom to replace it with Presidencipality? Pres-sama is definitely greater than a douche king.

Everyone is close to level 99, calling them strong would be an understatement. It seems that appropriate enemies for a level 99 human party would be monsters of around level 50. But with 29 people working together with proper coordination, the middle floors are nothing. It’s an overwhelming massacre. That person with the whip is especially crazy.

「Things are going pretty well. Remind yourself that overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer?」

「Well, we ought to have an easy time until reaching bosses or it wouldn’t be funny, but they are dropping like flies merely from Pres-sama’s spanking alone?」

「Where does that spanking come from! And why are you calling me with 『sama』now? I’m going to cry? I really will? I can’t take this?」

She is beginning to master Chain Whip of Savage Lightning. Right now she is capable of taking down even formidable opponents in one attack, and on top of that, she can use the whip with 『Bind』, truly making her Pres-sama. Next time, let’s make enamel boots for her. Naturally, with high heels. Wearing high heels in a dungeon might be an issue, but since it suits her it’s fine. However, when I let my imagination run wild, teary-eyed Pres-sama would turn my way, staring at me with a flat gaze, brandishing a whip. Pipe down? Aye, Miss, so I shall do. No, don’t even think of using『Chain Whip of Savage Lightning』for this? Weren’t you blasting monsters with it some moments ago? Yup, I’m sorry. I won’t do this anymore, so please lower the whip? Seriously.

Teary-eyes, glare, and flat gaze, the trio united in a marvelous harmony was truly lovely, but the whip was too scary.

But this proves that powerful equipment for which they have high aptitude is capable of drastically improving their combat capabilities. We need dungeon items. As expected, raiding dungeons might be a shortcut to increasing our strength. On the other hand, I feel like my brain will rot if I spare any more thought to the idiots who are for some reason fighting with giant boomerangs, despite having no aptitude for it whatsoever, so let’s ignore them. Yup, I saw nothing. That scene of someone surrounding monsters and beating them up with boomerangs is a hallucination. So I decided.

Meanwhile, the guardian geek changed his weapon to a halberd, which proved to have immense destructive power as well, so I tried asking where he bought it and turns out that this is the result of their attempt to craft a giant ballista… Am I already too corrupted by them if my first thought was that this is their most decent failure? Well, let’s infuse it with magic stones and mithrilify it when we get back. It’s quite strong. And what pisses me off the most is that the geeks’ failures are always better than what I make. It really gets me.

We keep advancing while continuously repeating what would be more accurate to call an onslaught and carnage rather than combat. Encountering no hidden rooms on the way, we reached the 34th floor, then, suddenly, it came!

Afternoon tea time.

I mean, I’m bored out of my mind? Like, really unreally bored? And even if we were to hurry, we likely will be done for the day after this dungeon. The Sun will probably set by the time we get outside. That being the case, there should be no issue with taking a break. And since there were quite a lot of magic stones, everyone has a small fortune! Hyaaha~?

「Let’s take a break? Even NASA perhaps said that rest is important unrest? Pretty sure they didn’t. That’s why it’s definitely about time for us to take a break and rest? Even though I might think about ripping everyone off with the sweets, you can’t blame me since no one caught up on that? It’s jelly by the way? Wouldn’t you be jelly not to jelly? Kind of?」

For starters, I gave some to Slime-san, and it’s eating while jiggling together with jelly. How cute.

(Jiggly~Jiggle)

Looks like Slime-san liked it. Slime-san spent a long time starving in a dungeon, therefore, it only makes sense that eating sweets in a dungeon would make for the best revenge! In other words, sweets are justice! And money! I mean, if I don’t earn anything here, they’ll find out that I spent the lodging money as well? I’ll do whatever it takes for the sake of my peace (sermon evasion).

「「「I want jelly! I’ll pay with magic stones! But you aren’t getting out of the sermon. You spent all of your money again, didn’t you!」」」

They knew! It’s probably the quote『If you have no lodging money, then let them eat cake? And rip them off. By Marie-san who desired to remain anonymous.』from the last time that exposed me. It’s all Marie-san’s fault. Impressive, Marie-san, to think her problematic statements can get me in trouble with completely false accusations even in the other world? But it looks like they are going to eat jelly anyway.

Wrapping the whip around her waist and equipping sword and shield, Pres-sama went back to the usual pres. That thing steals the chance to do anything from the other girls, ruining the opportunity for practice, and even other committee members can’t coordinate their attacks with her whip yet. There are a lot of issues to resolve, but it undoubtedly carries a massive combat potential.

The Guardian Geek should be fine, the Geeks can handle anything in their own clumsy way. During the practice they are unimpressive, but when things come to the actual combat they are fighting masterfully utilizing skills. In other words, they suck at basics but are insane with skills. The unshaken resolution of relying purely on Cheat skills, and not their own ability, and their utter lack of faith in their own physical capabilities is what makes them amazing. Which reminds me, they were doing all sorts of preparations for another world, but they didn’t try martial arts or any type of physical training at all. An amazing dependence on cheats.

In terms of overall combat ability, the committee is the strongest but if viewed as a party, then the Bitches, who have no weak points, are considerably strong. They are so well-rounded that they have no field in which they are particularly good, but as a magic swordsmen unit they are capable of fighting in vanguard and middle guard, proficient with several weapons, possess a wide array of magic at their disposal, and are way better than everyone else when it comes to teamwork, skillfully supporting their allies.

Idiots have the highest offensive ability, Athletic Girls the defense, and cultural clubs girls are middle and rear guard specialists. Making it all work together is a headache, and the fact that they are all halfway all-rounders makes it even more annoying. Commanding is absolutely impossible for me, but what’s even more important, Pres-sama is the most suitable for disciplining the Idiots. The sharpness of their movement was extraordinary when she had the whip. Did they get conditioned already?

And finally, on the 39th floor, a hidden room appeared, but the fight is taking a while. It’s a live practice for composite bows. They first shower the enemy with a rain of arrows, without using enchanted arrows, and after the enemy crumbles, charge in. The coordination here is even more complicated. I, however, can’t join the alliance, there is no way I can remember such a complicated strategy. And at the same time, I don’t want to be disciplined along with the Idiots.

Crawling『Salamanders Lv39』are stopped dead in their tracks with the rain of arrows, halting their charge, then rushed at and rent into pieces, by now, their proficiency is enough to call them a military unit. At this rate, were they to have a mock battle with the frontier army they’ll end up winning. Well, not like the other party will do anything aside from charging? How come that is considered 『God of War』? Did they mix it up with 『God of Silly』? Or maybe War Addict? If it’s actually Silly Addict then there is no hope for them, is there?

「Then, I’ll check on the hidden room, there are three salamanders still left, but you are taking too long so I’ll be taking them? Armored Pres-san and Slime-san began playing cat’s cradle out of boredom, you know? But why would 『Tokyo Tower』pop up in another world? If anything, I would’ve expected to see Skytree here? Or rather, doesn’t an actual Sky Tree sound super cool? For real?」

「「「Sure. Also,『Tokyo Tower』figure is called『Eiffel Tower』too, so the names are all over the place.」」」

『Eiffel Tower』? In Cat’s cradle? Do french people even know the game? Then, if I claim that it’s 『Sky Tree』strong enough, it might work out? No, no chance, that can show up only in some Elven Village at best? Speaking of which, a beautiful female elf-san playing Cat’s cradle sounds nice. I mean, most things are nice if 『beautiful』is involved. But more importantly, isn’t it dangerous to play Cat’s cradle with Wire Cutter?

(Jiggle Jiggle~!)

It’s overjoyed. Were they that tasty? It seemed like it wanted to eat them this whole time, so I got us 3 mobs, but it looks like it liked them. Maybe it wanted 『Body of Fire』? But it already got or more like, ate 『Grand Flame』from the phoenix, which I feel is a higher tier skill? Well, maybe it was simply bored, or the salamanders looked tasty, anyway, it seems to be happy about this, so no problem. It’s jiggling energetically after all.

「A hidden room discovered! Well, I noticed it several floors earlier, but it is a discovery? And inside was 『King Salamander Lv39』…was it good? Okay, if it was tasty then it’s all fine. It is, getting no part in the action is not a big deal. Lately, I kind of got used to this? I guess?」

It seems that by striking a cool pose I end up missing my timing. It’s such a rare thing for me to get anything to do, so I’d like to make it count, but as a result, I miss out even on that. But thinking in highschool boy terms, isn’t it sad that my highlight scene is just beating an enemy with a stick? As expected, I have to start off with a cool pose? Well, the king salamander is no more, so it’s too late to start? And lately, I just end up left standing like that every single time? Since everything is over while I’m striking the pose, I miss my chance to break it? This time, I tried to go for something the Three Kingdoms style, how is it? Isn’t it pretty good? Seriously? It wasn’t! Doesn’t swinging a long stick overhead look cool? I might be swinging it more than usual?

(Bounce Bounce) (Shake Shake)

Nope, huh. Was this Koumei Trap? A dungeon trap? What if it’s a relapse of the eighth-grader syndrome? [1]

「I’m ba~ck. It had 『Wall Boots – ViT SpE 30% Up, Wall Walk』, an undoubtedly highly desired item for any mobile fighter, or a bow user, but it will also lead to arguments with loot sharing, so it’s a highly profitable item that will definitely skyrocket in price. Yup, we might expect some good loot from this dungeon? A subtle attempt to raise a flag? Sort of? 」

「「「I want it~. I want to walk on the walls!」」」

Well, the Idiots are running on the walls through momentum and spirit alone, without any skills though, but that can’t be imitated. I think if anyone could do it, they’d have 『Human』erased from their status page. Quite seriously?

[TL Notes:

[1] Zhuge Liang, or Kongming (courtesy name), known to Japanese as Koumei, the meme came from an old three kingdom manga, where his enemies were so afraid of him, that every time they see a suspicious thing, they always think: ‘Wait, is this Koumei’s trap?’ and then ‘No wait, Koumei must be waiting for me to think that way.’ Sending them into an endless loop of guessing. A similar troupe to Kaizo Trap.

]