Running Away From The Hero! (Remake)

< Evade the Hero and Flee! 194 #23. Policy Meant for My Dream! (1) >

It all began with Ria’s question.

“Sir, is it alright for you to be like this?”

“What do you mean?”

I was enjoying my time off with my daughter as usual, but Ria suddenly showed up and began interfering.

Just what could have dissatisfied her so much?

Not only was she staying in a highest-class residence and enjoying top-quality meals, she even received top-tier service, to boot! Best of all, no weird people were chasing after her, either!

-Master, your disciple is originally a daughter from a wealthy family, no? You dragged someone like that here, imprisoned her against her will and forced her to work like a slave, you know? Not being dissatisfied will be bizarre in that case.

-N-no, hang on a minute! That’s totally wrong! If it was No.1000, she’d be over the moon just to get some delicious meals!

It was unfortunate that I couldn’t spread the joy of eating rice while declaring, “Oh, you wheat-eating heathens, this is what rice tastes like!” in this world, since I mostly ate the OttXgi’s Ready-Washed Rice in my previous life. However, I still managed to usher in a new culture of fried foods.

Sure, you could say that oil was a bit of a luxury item in this world, but people wouldn’t think it’s a wasted expense if I say it’s a crucial ingredient in welcoming the… Lord ‘Chi-God’. [1]

Keuh~… Hey, are you watching? Dear God, that brought me to this world?

Just by spreading the goodness of fried chicken to this world, I’ve already fulfilled my quota, you know! Not only that, but I also taught the people of this people how to fry potatoes, so you better show me your appreciation by guaranteeing my comfortable retirement life!

However, Ria was not a god, and it seemed she was not interested in guaranteeing my comfortable retirement.

“Shouldn’t you be working, sir?”

“Working? Belegrea is in charge of that, though?”

“Yes, she and I are resolving the majority of the matters, but there certainly exists some matters that can only be resolved by the demon king himself.”

Ria handed over a thick pile of documents, and it was heavier than I’d like. After taking a quick look-see, all of them seemed rather annoying to deal with.

These matters had been already ‘mostly’ dealt with, but I still had to stamp my seal of approval as the top representative of the government. Even so, they could be sorted out simply by throwing around the name of the Demon God.

“These are some annoying things, aren’t they?”

“Please try to have some sympathy for people who need to deal with these annoying things, sir.”

Ria’s words were prickly, to say the least, but her voice didn’t have much energy. How should I describe this… She was complaining because she had already given up on everything?

I guess I could summarise it like so?

“Very well. I can certainly help you deal with these matters.”

When I took the document piles, Ria spat out a long sigh from the deepest part of her heart. “Thank you.”

She didn’t sound thankful at all, though…

“It’s fine.”

I’ve been dumping all the work on her shoulders until now, so it’s about time I graciously humour a few of her complaints, no?

“Mm… Nope, I was wrong.”

Aaaand I began regretting right away.

“Master, you’ve gotten a lot frailer, haven’t you?” The metal bat muttered from my side.

“Well, I’m not a spring chicken anymore, after all.”

My eyes poring over the documents were getting dim and tired. I only moved my hands a little to wield a pen, but that was enough to ache my joints.

And most importantly of all…

“…I can’t even be bothered.”

“Well, master hasn’t done work like this in a long while, after all.”

As soon as I spread out these documents on a desk, my daughter and the cat quickly escaped from here. I decided not to mind them and did my best to focus on the work at hand.

But it was getting hard for me. And it was getting too annoying for me to care.

“All I wanted was to retire as a paper-pusher back when I still worked for the organisation, but to think that I’ve become this useless at writing letters on some paper…”

“Well, back then, a desk job was much simpler for you compared to fieldwork, so that’s why. But, things are different now, right?”

“Keuh-euk! Demon king, what a scary job it is…”

I knew it, the demon king was a scary existence. Just one word from me was enough to command countless priests. And I didn’t even have to lift a finger to do that. On top of that, a scarcely-believable amount of wealth automatically entered my coffers every month. Let’s not forget the vault filled with wealth saved up for hundreds of years, too!

In one fell swoop, I acquired a job title as good as the emperor of the Karuan Empire and also became the wealthiest man alive on the continent at the same time.

“I joined the organisation after realising how much money I could make, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, that’s right. And you made quite a bit of coin, master.”

The salaries and the incentives I received from the organisation was considerable, but what I skimmed off the top or while cooking the books was even more astronomical.

For instance, I made sure to pocket about half of the repair budget allocated to the trainees’ barracks that got destroyed once or twice every year.

While saying stuff like, “I need funds to train the prospects,” or “Funds are necessary to attempt this task,” I kept siphoning off an astronomical amount of money from the organisation’s coffers and used them for my own gains.

A hefty chunk of that moolah went into the metal bat, though!

“I knew it. Master, you’re so evil!”

“That evil streak of mine led to your birth, so you better keep your flippant piehole shut.”

“Okay!”

I briefly glared at the metal bat after she quickly clamped her mouth shut. But she looked up at me with a face that said, ‘What’s the problem?’

This metal bat of mine was getting stronger with every passing day. Since day one, she was already strong enough to be called deus ex machina, but I always had a way to take her down a notch through a mental attack. But these days? It was her that found a way to take me down a notch, instead!

-It’s all thanks to a great master teaching me! As expected of a pro instructor!

-Weren’t you going to keep your mouth shut?

-My mouth is shut, you know.

It’d never end if I kept humouring her like this.

I was the busy one here, after all. Left without a choice, I stopped engaging the metal bat and picked up the documents again. And then, I swore to myself. “Yup, as I thought, not working is for the best.”

“But master, you have to do this, no?”

“That’s unfortunately true. I wish I could just quit being the demon king, but the demon race as a whole is just too weak.”

These demons were so weak that if I put up the subject of conquering the demon continent as the graduation test for Yugrasia, I had a feeling that the conquest would be a resounding success.

Although, if I think about it more seriously, then something like the conquest of the demon continent seemed very unrealistic. However, if the incentive was the immediate discontinuation of the night studies, then well… I got this sneaking suspicion that the Yugrasia students could really pull the conquest off.

“Master… Your suspicion is usually on the money.”

“Indeed. Especially when it’s a bad one.”

“And if that scenario also happens to contain a situation very unfavourable to you, master…!”

“It’ll happen with almost 100% certainty!”

This theory was amply proven by the fact that I was acting as the demon king right now. When I learned that my daughter was a half Succubus, I had a gut feeling that one day, events would force me to enter the demon continent… And it really happened!

“The demon race simply has to become stronger.”

Even though these demons were so lacking, they fooled themselves into believing that they were stronger than humans. Sure, a single demon could easily slay dozens of humans… if those humans happen to be powerless civilians.

Move up the power ladder, though, and humans were clearly stronger than demons.

Thanks to the great war, the number of experts on the human side had increased by quite a lot. On the other hand, the demons had been enjoying a period of peace that gradually whittled down their number of experts. As a result, the number of new experts rising to prominence was certifiably low.

“Hang on, master? Aren’t you basing that opinion on the people you know?”

“Don’t forget that it’s those people chasing after me right now.”

“Ahhh. You’re right.”

Even the metal bat nodded in acceptance without any retort at that undeniable fact.

Humans might be weak, but those humans trying to capture me were incredibly strong. Worse still, they were also crafty, to boot.

“First of all, I’ll have some peace of mind by building sturdy walls by the borders…”

“Master, if you’re thinking about that now, it’s already too late, you know? I think spies sent by the scary big sisters are already hiding in the demon continent.”

“Come on, now. This is the demon continent. Which crazy underling would want to sneak in here as a spy?”

There was a chance of a frontal assault, sure, but spies? That sounded far-fetched to me. Other than me, how many people out there could’ve come up with a revolutionary item like a wearable demon horn headband?

“I guess it’s safe to assume that there aren’t any hidden enemies in our own ranks for the time being. Aggreahrt’s faction has already been disbanded and taken care of, so I don’t have to worry about rebellions, either.”

As such, there was only one thing remaining to do!

“Once we hold the coronation ceremony, the demon continent will have its normal demon king!”

“Ng? I thought you didn’t want to become the demon king, master?” The metal bat tilted her head after hearing my grand plan.

“Of course. There’s no need for me to become the demon king. Why did we come to the demon continent in the first place?”

“Well, the Imperial Princess is chasing us down, that’s why.”

“Yes, that is certainly a reason. Make that the biggest reason, too. But coming to the demon continent wasn’t just because of me. No, it’s also related to my daughter.”

“…Uh?” It seemed that the metal bat had finally caught onto what I was saying. “C-could it be?”

“That’s right, my daughter holds the right to choose the next demon king!”

The sacred authority of the chieftains…

As the sole remaining descendent of the Succubus race in this world, my daughter held that authority.

The current split in the votes was 50:50. This vote was still ongoing even though one of the candidates, Aggreahrt, was already dead.

“Like this, dad?”

“That’s right, my child.”

As such, we cast our vote the next day while I held my daughter’s hand. In my previous life, I often heard the tagline “Your precious vote can change our country!” and here I was, actually witnessing that scenario becoming reality!

“Oh, ohh…!”

Once that last vote entered the ballot box, the voting venue became awash with all sorts of magic circles.

Letters rose up while emitting brilliant white light, and in the middle of them were 101 ballot papers floating up in the air. And then, even brighter rays of white light exploded to blind us.

-According to the Demon God’s laws, Belegrea is now declared as the new demon king.

“Oh, ohhh…”

“So cool, dad!”

My daughter and I were suitably impressed by the gorgeously-flashing letters floating up in the air.

And the very next day…

“Congratulations! Oh, the demon king chosen by the demon race!”

I personally delivered this wonderful bit of news to Belegrea.

Belegrea gasped out. “I’m sorry?!”

“You’re the demon king from this moment onward!”

She looked utterly gobsmacked, but I didn’t criticise her for that. I mean, she became the demon king practically overnight, so her shock was completely understandable!

“Well, then! Let’s prepare the official coronation ceremony, shall we! Since you’ll be the new king of all demon races, the ceremony should be as grand as possible…”

“W-wait a minute!” [2]

Since she looked out of it, I planned to quickly finish this up and go home, but too bad, it didn’t work in the end.

“Tch!”

“S-since you clicked your tongue just now, does that indicate my suspicion is correct, sir?!”

“Ng? What do you mean by that? I’m merely following the great and noble Demon God’s will, that’s all. Yes, all of this is the Demon God’s will.”

This kid was quite a lot sharper than she looked. Too bad for her, though, I was in possession of the solve-everything magic term – the Demon God’s will!

“Is that true, sir?”

“It’s impossible to fool a god. If I am lying, then there’s no way that our great and noble Demon God would allow me to live!”

-Uhm, master? Demon God must be trying to rip you apart right about now, you know?

-But she can’t, right?

-Well, yeah.

-Then it’s all good.

-You and your rotten humanity, master!

Even if you say that, gods already had a prior of doing character assassination via bad manners on me before. Or, should I say, character assassination via godly manners? [3]

I mean, they sent a hero and a saint to annoy the heck out of me just because they couldn’t see what I was doing! Stalking was treated as a punishable offence back in my previous life… and in this life, too!

If only it wasn’t for their meddling, I would’ve been living my life quietly in a forgotten corner somewhere, you know! That’s right, everything is the fault of the gods!

“Behold, Belegrea! Lying to the great, noble Demon God in her temple, yet there’s no divine punishment? That simply can’t be it, now can it! Our Demon God is a great being, a noble creature that watches over all demon folk in existence. There’s simply no way that she doesn’t know what’s going on in her own temple. And that proves that my words are sincere.”

That’s why I didn’t feel a single pang of guilt even when selling the Demon God’s name down the river!

-Master, even if the Demon God was a friend to you, you’d still sell her down the river, you know? And still not feel any guilt whatsoever. I swear on my name as the Goddess Aru that I’m 100% sure about this.

A surprisingly sharp tackle tried to knock me down just now, but fortunately enough, only I could hear her. A tackle that no one else in this world would ever find out as long as my unyielding mentality, forged through so many trials and tribulations, endured!

“I-is that so?”

As a result, Belegrea was left with no choice but to accept that she was now the new demon king. As expected of a devout believer of the Demon God, then.

-I feel sorry for her, master…

-She’s the new demon king, so why feel sorry for her?

I was planning to make her the greatest demon king in the history of the demon race. The demon king that inherited the traditions and conventions of the demon race… the one with the legitimacy, approved by the Demon God herself!

You see, my plan was to make her the first-ever demon king to possess both of those qualifications.

-Master, I don’t recall anyone enjoying a nice end after receiving your considerate support…

-Huh?! How dare you lie like that! Who are you even talking about! Who was it!

-That good-looking Oppa that became your substitute, Yugrasia that became the greatest academy in the land, and then…

-Hey, you! You actually want to remind me of them?!

I ended up getting flustered a little when the metal bat unhesitantly began naming the individuals in question.

She must’ve gotten excited by it too, because she even began pummelling my mind with horrible fact bombs like, “Being next to you causes even a perfectly-normal hero to turn into a demon king’s lackey, master!”

N-no, this won’t do!

I still have a ton of important things to do! Don’t you know how hard I have been preparing in that brief time for the sake of not working in the future?!

I can’t afford to let them all go to waste!

I even had to send my daughter away for this occasion, you know! The sight of her being so sad and saying, ‘Dad’s too busy to play with me…’ really hurt me in the feelings, too!

Don’t give up, me! I mustn’t lose to a fake living organism made out of some metal!

“The Demon God has declared thus. You possess the qualifications to be called the demon king. Just like your predecessors have done, devote yourself for the sake of all demon race.”

“Thank you.”

Belegrea deeply bowed her head at me… Oops, I mean, at the Demon God she thought was standing behind me.

However, this is merely the beginning.

“We must spread the will of our great, noble Demon God using the opportunity afforded by the coronation ceremony.”

While saying that, I handed over a document to Belegrea. It contained some things I wrote after diligently combing through my memories.

“This is…?”

“This is the will of the Demon God. The proof that she wishes to change the demon world.”

Belegrea’s eyes darted around as she quickly read the document. “A spectre is wandering on the demon continent. A spectre called Communism…”

The words coming out of her mouth was none other than a certain great speech from my previous life that ushered in a significant change to the world. Since ancient times, a demon king was supposed to have a stirring speech ready to declare at any given moment!

Of course, my memories being what they were, I only knew the foreword and the general gist of the contents. But the crux of this document, what I really wanted to convey, wasn’t the Socialist ideal that Engels or Marx wanted!

No, what I was going for was the lip-service Socialism often mentioned by the Missile-firing pig… Oops, I meant the great leader of the North, Kim X-un! Yes, my goal was to create a pseudo-socialist society where only I get to live a good life!

“From this moment on, the demon world will follow the Demon God’s will to become the People’s Republic of Ko… No, I mean, People’s Republic of Demons!”

And so… a social revolution meant only for me and me alone began to take shape step by step.

[1]: The Korean slang used here was ‘치느님’, which is a portmanteau of the English word ‘chicken’ and Korean word ‘하느님’ (God) Basically, it’s fried chicken…

[2]: Maaaan, I almost went with “chotto matte!” here.

[3]: There was a reference to Hearthstone’s ‘BM/bad manners’ here, but the joke itself was impossible to translate to English. I did what I could, so no complaints, please…