"Xiaoyi, what are you, exactly?" Li Chunhua muttered under her breath before leaving the place once she heard the sound of a cry coming from the inside.
She walked absent-mindedly to her room before reaching out for her phone on top of the study desk. Her goal was, of course, to contact Shao Jingfei. Recently, she had been contacting him more and more often. If she didn't receive his advice, she would feel lost sometimes.
However, unlike previously, she didn't text him this time but called him directly. This was probably her first time calling him on her own initiative.
Li Chunhua bit her nails nervously as she anxiously waited for the call line to be connected. When there was no response from the other side, she couldn't take it and almost screamed in frustration.
"What to do? What to do?" Li Chunhua repeated that question over and over. She was so anxious she didn't notice that her finger bled because she bit it too hard.
Li Chunhua was on her edge and couldn't calm down. She paced back and forth in her room while occasionally looking at her phone. Her rational mind was aware that she was probably relying too much on Shao Jingfei, to the point where not hearing his advice made her unsettled and frightened.
"I promised Xiaoyi I would change. But I can't bear this, I don't like this. I'm scared…." Li Chunhua mumbled to no one. Her eyes darkened, and her tone dropped to several degrees. Even if she told herself there was nothing to fear, the uncontrollable tremble on her body told her otherwise.
Li Chunhua hated it when this happened to her. She didn't know since when this happened, but whenever she was shocked or pressured, this immeasurable amount of uneasiness would hit her like a tidal wave. Her head would hurt like crazy, and there was nothing she could do but eat her medicine again and wait for it to calm down.
No one in the family knew about this condition of hers. She didn't want them to become more worried and self-conscious about her weak constitution. After years of experience, she found out that these 'episodes' couldn't be stopped once it started, but she could prevent it by reducing her stress as much as possible.
"I'm fine. Everything is fine. There is nothing wrong. I'm not wrong." Li Chunhua deliriously whispered to herself until she couldn't take it anymore.
A painful sting hit her head, and it felt like a sharp needle had pierced her scalp. She groaned while holding her head, but the vision in front of her got warped.
Li Chunhua went towards her bedside drawer with staggering steps. "I have to drink… the medicine. I'll feel better after I take it."
Li Chunhua reached for the bottom drawer with a trembling hand and took out a bottle from the inside. She was about to put the pill inside her mouth when her phone beside her rang.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtLi Chunhua jolted in shock, and she slowly turned her head towards the noisy object. Her pupils dilated when she saw Shao Jingfei's ID on the screen.
"Jingfei…" Li Chunhua completely forgot about her medicine as it fell off her hand. She quickly took her phone and answered the call.
"Chunhua? Did you call me just now? Sorry, I just came out of the shower. What happened to you?"
Hearing his familiar bright and cheerful tone eased her a lot. Her bleeding finger left traces of blood on her phone screen, and it felt hurt, but she didn't care. Knowing that she had someone she could confide to comfort her more than any medicine could do.
"Jingfei.." Li Chunhua called out to him in a cracked voice.
"What happened? Did you cry?" Shao Jingfei asked, with a stiffer tone than before, showing his alertness. "Tell me what happened to you."
"I-I'm so scared. This is scary, Jingfei. I know what I said doesn't make sense, but please don't hate me for this." Li Chunhua broke out in sobs as the fear she had been holding all these times gushed out of her in the form of tears.
"Hey, hey. You need to calm down first. Why would I hate you just for that reason?" Shao Jingfei said in a fluster before speaking in a cajoling tone. "Don't cry. I'm sorry for not picking up your call immediately. I'm here, and you can tell me everything, so don't be afraid anymore."
His words only made Li Chunhua feel more like crying. Her shoulders shook as she let out all of her feelings. Throughout her soft cries, Shao Jingfei only silently listened to her.
"Jingfei, are you still there?"
"Yes, I'm here."
"Ugh, sob sob…."
"...."
"Jingfei?"
"En, I'm still here."
Occasionally, Li Chunhua would call out to him to make sure he was still there with her, and he would answer her immediately. It calmed her down a lot, and her cries slowly subsided.
"Have you calmed down now?" Shao Jingfei asked gently after she stopped sobbing.
"En, I feel better now." Li Chunhua didn't just say that as a form of politeness, but she truly felt better after letting everything out of her system. Her head still ached, but it was much more tolerable than before.
Li Chunhua slowly climbed up to her bed and lay down on it, with her phone still pressed to her ear. She had completely forgotten about the medicine pills scattered on the floor.
"Jingfei, I feel so lost, and I don't know what to do right now. I need you." She said softly, almost like pleading.
Shao Jingfei chuckled. "Is that so? I'm your advisor, so you can tell me everything that troubles you."
Li Chunhua smiled faintly. "Actually, can you just keep talking to me like that?"
"Ah? Like that, you mean, like what?"
"Like this. I feel safe now after hearing your voice. Thank you."
Shao Jingfei: "...."
"Jingfei, are you still there?"
"...Yes, I'm here. I'm just a bit surprised. It's rare to hear you speak so honestly."
"Is it really that surprising? Well, I guess I don't do this to just anyone. Perhaps because it's you who is talking with me right now. I feel like I can truly be myself with you."
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmThere was a silence from the other side before Shao Jingfei said in a serious tone. "Do you want me to come to you now? We can keep talking on the phone like this, and I will get there in a few minutes."
Li Chunhua was tempted to accept his suggestion, but she stopped herself at the last minute. "Thank you, but no need. For now, I'm content just hearing your voice."
"Alright, if that's what you want. Do you want to talk about what happened?"
Li Chunhua closed her tired eyes and thought back to the conversation she had accidentally overheard.
"It's okay now. Rather than you, there is someone else I ought to talk to regarding that."
"I see. I'm glad you are a lot calmer now. You sound tired; how about taking a rest first?"
He was right. Li Chunhua did feel exhausted after crying for so long. Even now, her eyelids refused to open, with Shao Jingfei's voice being the only thing that kept her awake.
"I want to sleep, but I'm afraid to."
"How about if I sing you a lullaby, then?"
"A lullaby?"
"Yeah. It just happened that I have the right song for that." Shao Jingfei said brightly, and Li Chunhua could vividly imagine his usual grin from behind her closed eyelids. She wondered how a lullaby sung by him would sound?
"Can you do that for me?"
"Okay. Now close your eyes and listen."
The song that Shao Jingfei sang for her was soft and mellow, very different from the sunny personality he usually showed. Li Chunhua felt like she was drowned in the deep sea, hearing his voice so close to her ear.
Her mind was exhausted, so it didn't take a long time for her to fall asleep.