Memoirs of the Returnee

…Perhaps my response was too quick. Maybe I should have pretended to agonize over it a bit more.

I was slightly worried, but fortunately, the other party didn’t seem to find it odd.

On the contrary, this might be better.

For now, I must become a man who loves Johanna.

I must appear as a man who is deeply worried about Johanna, a man who is extremely angry at the kidnappers, and a man who is clouded by emotions, acting without any rational thought.

“…lnteresting.”

The man said. I clenched my teeth and gripped the sword at my waist.

“There’s no time.”

“Hmm, understood.”

The man who had taken the briefcase handed me a card. The coordinates were written on it.

I glared at him, my mind racing.

“lf this is a lie”

“l’m not that fearless. Everything is true. I’ll disappear as if I never existed.”

“…You’re confident you’ll survive?”

I asked him. He laughed in response.

“Do you have time to tussle with me?”

True to his words, my immediate goal was clear.

“Where is Miss Zia?”

“You’ll find out naturally. I promise.”

“…”

I stood up from my seat. Right after, the man’s body turned pitch black and he sank into the ground.

Johanna must have hired someone with real skill.

“…Sigh.”

I left the abandoned factory, checking the coordinates. They were much farther than I expected. It would take at least half a day of nonstop travel.

My head throbbed, but I couldn’t show any sign of weakness.

…Johanna was lost in thought, quietly. Her body was tightly bound, unable to move, and the filth around her made her reluctant to even open her eyes.

It wasn’t as if she had never experienced such humiliation before. Her twenties were full of conflicts, after all.

Back when she was full of youthful vigor, kidnappings, confinements, and battles were almost annual events, but now, all those who were once enemies of Johanna are dead.

In other words, this is the first time she’s encountered something like this in nearly five years.

That’s why it’s so absurd, why she occasionally feels a sense of doubt about why she's in this situation, and why she’s confused.

All of this is because it’s a play she has orchestrated herself.

“…”

Johanna quietly opened her eyes.

Hssssss—

It’s real poison gas rising, not a fake. In 24 hours, it will fill the space and kill Johanna.

Of course, she has no intention of just sitting still until then.

“…Sigh.”

Johanna let out a sigh.

At this point, even she no longer understood herself.

Why is she doing this? Why is she committing such idiotic acts?

This is not like Johanna of Libra.

Far from being noble, it’s rather pathetic and ugly.

It has nothing to do with the tangible values of money, honor, and power that she has always pursued.

Rather, it’s an act that damages those very things.

Therefore, Johanna begins to doubt. She starts to ponder and think.

Is love supposed to be like this?

Is love something that makes you give up a part of yourself?

Johanna doesn’t know yet.

So, she will simply wait.

To see the end of this torment today, to wait for him—who may or may not come for her…. She will wait.

I am running through the desert. At a speed that kicks up sandstorms, I am moving quite swiftly.

But my mind is a bit hazy.

I feel worried, confused, and somewhat relieved.

Shion Ascal.

As Shion Ascal, before and after my regression, what I have always desired is the downfall of Libra.

They led my father to his death and ruined my life. Even the cancer… all the diseases I suffered from were largely because of them.

—Libra’s elixir 'Perion' wasn’t a project that just happened overnight. It was secretly developed over decades.

The truth Theia Esil revealed to me in the past.

The precursor of Perion recorded in my [Notepad] .

—Initially, it was a drug developed by Libra for standardization purposes. It was more efficient to create a drug that would strengthen the weak majority rather than one for the strong.

Libra offered it to my father.

My father was a low-ranking knight but wished to be of help to Libra. Libra exploited my father’s pure heart.

—If there exists an elixir that could make you much stronger, and thus be of help to the family, would you be willing to take it?

Of course, I didn’t know about that day. I didn’t know what my father had struggled with, what kind of resolve he had made.

I only caught a glimpse of the fragments with the help of Theia Esil.

—Libra injected the elixir into low-ranking knights to observe their growth.

At that time, Libra used knights as samples, who were not only under Libra’s command but also fathers of families, someone’s sons, brothers, friends, siblings.

Some became stronger, some died, some remained the same, but a rare few suffered fatal side effects.

Their body’s mana became corrupted, spreading a resonant hum in their daily lives, infecting those around them with bizarre effects.

—Your father… that's what happened to him.

Unfortunately, my father was one of those 'rare’ cases.

Because of that, I contracted a disease unknowingly, and Libra disposed of my father under the pretense of 'duty’.

—Without even allowing an autopsy.

My father left no trace behind.

His body was torn apart, and his soul was trapped in the spiral of mana.

Yet, I almost resented my father.

“Don’t resent him, dear. If you resent your father instead of Libra, then they get what they want.”

A cancer patient who withered away in a hospital room day by day, waiting only for death.

Thanks to Theia, I regained my senses and set a new goal in life.

That goal was revenge.

Of course, not all my illnesses were due to them.

The first disease, a brain tumor, was certainly Libra’s fault, but I couldn’t be 100% sure about the subsequent leukemia and Cancer of the Magic’s Core.

However, my life was derailed because of them.

The direct descendants of Libra must surely know about those experiments that day. Derek, Johanna, Jade, Zia.

They must have heard about it somewhere.

But they probably just brushed it off, considering it merely as a case of experimental failure, one of the many trials and errors on the path to Libra’s greatness.

“Don’t fall apart. You must seek revenge.”

Theia Esil lifted me up, and from that day on, I changed.

Those times were rewound with my regression.

Theia Esil was no longer my ally, but I would have my own form of revenge.

I would change Johanna of Libra. She was bound to change. Thinking about my illness, she would try to dig deeper into the truth.

At the end of it, she would face the ugliest side of Libra.

“……”

I stopped. In the place corresponding to the coordinates on the card, there was a desolate abandoned building.

There were no obstacles, so I simply opened the door.

Johanna was troubled.

What would she do if he chose Zia over her? How should she act, how should she respond?

The mere thought was infuriating.

If that had happened, she might have actually killed Zia.

She had two more siblings, but only one bastard.

“……”

It was just needless worry, after all.

Johanna saw Shion Ascal push the door open. His figure, rushing towards her as soon as he spotted her, seemed to move in slow motion.

Like a scene from a movie.

He cut through the toxic gas to reach her, breaking her bondage, and then lifting her onto his back…

Thud-

He laid her down on the soft sand of the desert.

“Lady Johanna.”

Johanna looked up at him calling her name. Today, of all days, his face seemed particularly handsome.

“……”

“Lady Johanna. Are you alright?”

“……Ha.”

A smile she didn’t know she had in her spilled out. A strange emotion welled up from within. It was different from love, different from affection.

A feeling of overwhelming happiness that filled her from her chest to her limbs, as if brimming over.

This too was a first experience.

This man has given her quite a few of her firsts.

“Lady Johanna!”

Shion Ascal, misunderstanding her condition, looked frantic. Johanna shook her head.

“Don’t worry. I’m fine.”

Johanna grabbed Shion’s shoulder, pulling herself up to a sitting position and leaning her head against his chest.

“……Are you really okay?”

“l’m better now.”

Shion exhaled a sigh of relief. Even the light sound of his breath was pleasant to hear.

He then reached for his radio.

“ITI contact Balancer Vitro.”

“lt’s fine. Stay here with me.”

Johanna grabbed his radio.

“There’s no need to go to Zia.”

“……huh?”

“She will be rescued soon. I know the location.”

Shion looked puzzled, but even that was oddly endearing.

Johanna smiled faintly and placed her hand on his cheek.

“As expected, you came to me first. Not to your lord Zia.”

“……”

Shion’s expression hardened. Johanna shook her head as if to reassure him.

“I know everything. I know what feelings you harbor for me.”

It felt strange to say such things, and she felt a blush of embarrassment that made her hands and feet tremble, but it was bound to come to this.

“Shion Ascal. Come to me. I can give you what you desire.”

Johanna already knew what Shion Ascal desired.

“……”

But Shion remained silent. He just looked at her quietly. Johanna leaned her face against his shoulder.

“Do you know why you came to me?”

“……Lady Johan na.”

“Because you love me.”

Johanna continued in a low voice.

“Shion. You are like me.”

Shion’s body trembled. That tremor reached Johanna. It was a gentle gesture.

Johanna looked up at him from his embrace.

“So… come to me before it’s too late. Time is too short to be apart.”

Suddenly, the wind swirled around them. Thin streams of sand danced beside them.

“……”

Shion was silent, and Johanna waited.

Whooooosh-

The hot wind of the desert stretched out long. Even as time passed, his silence was too persistent. Johanna would have normally stayed quiet, but she was an impatient person.

She furrowed her brow in frustration.

“Answer me.”

Then, Shion bit his lip. He then quietly shook his head. At that series of actions, Johanna felt a sharp pain in her heart.

“l’m sorry.”

“……”

Johanna’s complexion turned pale.

It was as if a window had exploded beneath her ribs. It felt like all the shattered fragments were tearing through her skin and guts.

“……l’m sorry.”

Shion stood up, leaving her behind. Johanna quickly grabbed him as he started to trudge away.

“Stop.”

“……”

Shion did not stop. His strides crushed the sand dunes. Grains of sand, stirred by the gale, obscured her vision.

“lf you don't stop, Zia will die.”

Johanna eventually took Zia hostage. Finally, Shion’s steps halted, and she glared at him, breathing heavily.

“What's the reason?”

“……”

Shion did not answer.

“You love me, and you came to save me before Zia. Even so, you can’t give up on Zia? You're lying to yourself right now.”

“……”

Shion did not answer.

“I made it clear. I always get what I want. If you don’t come to me, Zia will die today.”

“……”

Shion did not answer.

Johanna’s face sharpened like a bird of prey. She even raised her magical power as she shouted.

“Answer me!”

Shion quietly closed his eyes.

Now, this was the moment.

All emotions were reaching their climax, the perfect time for Libra to confess to him. The perfect situation to carry out his revenge.

“……l'm sorry. I cannot go to Lady Johanna.”

Shion murmured softly.

Suddenly, Johanna’s entire being turned cold. Her frigid magical power made even the desert feel chilly.

“Why?”

Shion opened his eyes. With a face that seemed sorrowful, as if he was too guilty, he bit his lip.

And then…

“Because I love you, Lady Johan na.”

It shook Johanna’s heart once more.

It was an incomprehensible statement to Johanna.

“Because you love me, you can’t stay by my side?”

She let out a hollow laugh. It was a rage she had rarely felt in her life. If it had been anyone other than this man, she might have already killed them countless times.

Meanwhile, Shion counted the years in his heart.

Perhaps there were 9 years left.

“Don’t talk bullshit. If you love me, just stay by my side. I won’t say it twice. If you don’t come to me, Zia will die”

“lt’s not because of that.”

Shion’s tone settled calmly. There was no need to delay any longer, as everything was set.

“I am going to die soon.”

Shion spoke plainly. At last, he confessed his secret to her.

“……?”

Johanna’s fingertips trembled slightly. One eyebrow arched oddly.

To her, who still couldn’t fully accept his words, he added one last sentence.

“I have cancer.”