I'm Really a Superstar

Online, a commotion was brewing!

The fans, netizens, and troll army were thundering!

"Who else is there?"

"I wanted to say that too! Who else is there?"

"How freakishly amazing!"

"Yeah, Zhang Ye is ridiculously amazing!"

"Who was saying that they don't know how to act in a skit? Is this what you call not knowing how to act? Are you kidding me?"

"These three amateurs really managed to act out the skit!"

"Yao Jiancai has always been typecast as the father-in-law, so this is the first time I'm seeing him act like this. Although his aura as a boss is really strong, he still manages to keep it humorous! And Dong Shanshan is also a surprise. I've seen her on Do You Remember where it's like she just guest stars as a host. Although she has plenty of airtime on that show, she didn't seem to me like she had any ability. She has a good figure, good looks, and is pleasing to the eye. I always felt that she was just eye candy. I never expected that she would open my eyes today! So Dong Shanshan can let herself go to that extent! Her acting is great! She manages to deliver her lines really well too! That expression, the details in her movements, she's fantastic! As for Zhang Ye, I guess I don't have to say anything about him. Everyone should know this guy's abilities already. Even if he claims that he can fly, I'll still fucking believe him!"

"Well said!"

"Hahahahaha!"

...

Liaoning Television.

The staff were mustering for the final stretch, preparing to wage a bloody battle at the end. All the provincial station's Spring Festival Galas were scheduled similarly and were all at their finale or penultimate acts. This was where the competition got the most intense and the difference between success and failure lay!

"Quick, adjust the lights into position!"

"We're down to the last few minutes!"

"Now that Beijing TV's Spring Festival Gala has been affected by their incident, we have the best hopes of coming first in this year's Spring Festival Gala viewership ratings!"

"Everyone, focus! Don't make any mistakes!"

"Everyone is looking at us now!"

Several of the directors of the production team busied themselves, personally taking command of the jobs!

Suddenly, one of the staff ran up to them in a fluster. "Directors! Directors!"

One of the assistant directors looked at him. "What's the matter?"

The staff member said while panting, "The popularity of our Spring Festival Gala has suddenly dropped by a lot!"

Everyone in the production team was stunned. "What?"

"Why did it drop again?"

"Didn't it rise to quite a good level just now?"

The staff member said bitterly, "All the viewers are tuning into Beijing TV's Spring Festival Gala!"

"Impossible!"

"What about that incident that took place at their station!"

"Qu Haiying has been hospitalized, so what skit are they using for their finale act?"

"Zhang Ye's performance is also over, so why is their Spring Festival Gala still getting so much attention?"

"With Zhang Ye's performance already over, what can they still use to fight with? Just what is going on right now?"

They did not want to believe it!

That staff said with a bitter smile, "Because Zhang Ye…has fucking reappeared! Zhang Ye is the replacement for the finale skit!"

Everyone fainted!

What?

Zhang Ye has reappeared onstage for another performance?!

...

Onstage.

The skit continued.

Director Yao, who was played by Yao Jiancai, waved his hand and changed the subject. He said, "Alright, we've gone off on a tangent. Eh, Manager Ma, didn't you tell me earlier on the phone that you had good news waiting for me? What's the good news (hǎo xiāoxī)?"

Dong Shanshan was surprised for a moment but immediately smiled and said, "Ah, ha, yes, about that, that…" She clutched the armrest of the sofa, unable to sit still. All at once, she turned to Zhang Ye, clenched her teeth, and said, "The director's asking you. What's the good news?"

Zhang Ye was dumbfounded. "Ah? He's asking me?"

The audience laughed!

Zhang Ye looked at Director Yao, his lips moving as he stalled for time. After holding it in for a long while, he finally said, "My surname is Hǎo, my name is Hǎo Xiāoxī (news)."

The audience was delighted. "Hahahahaha!"

Yao Jiancai also laughed and shook his head. "You're Hǎo Xiāoxī?"

"His mother gave him that name," Dong Shanshan said as she forced a hollow laugh. "Haha, isn't it a terrible name?"

The audience laughed again!

Yao Jiancai looked at him and said, "Then Hǎo Xiāoxī was waiting for me. So why are you looking for me?"

Zhang Ye was stupefied. "Ah."

Yao Jiancai nodded and asked him, "So why are you looking for me?"

"Ah?" said Zhang Ye, wooden.

Dong Shanshan hissed, "The director is asking you! Answer! Him!"

Zhang Ye equivocated, "Yes, wh-why am I looking for you? Oh, that's right…." He pointed outside the room and stammered, "During work hours, yes, those people were always playing table tennis."

Dong Shanshan who was in the role of Ma Jingjing breathed a sigh of relief and walked back to the sofa with a smile.

Zhang Ye continued, "They're constantly pinging and ponging when playing. The noise disturbs Manager Ma's sleep."

Crash! Dong Shanshan was just about to sit down on the sofa but was so shocked she fell to the floor on her butt!

Zhang Ye hurriedly corrected himself. "—Writing of reports!"

The audience laughed, "Pfft, hahahaha!"

Dong Shanshan laughed dryly as she got back up, "Ha, hur hur."

Yao Jiancai grinned and tapped the sofa's armrest, saying, "Oh, so you're lodging a complaint with me? This young comrade has responded to the problem in a very timely manner, right after I've fully understood the entire situation."

Dong Shanshan glanced at Zhang Ye. "Wasn't it unnecessary?"

The audience reacted, "Pfft!"

Yao Jiancai suddenly put his hand out and asked, "By the way, Manager Ma, I heard that there's someone called Hao Jian in your department?"

"Ah? Ah?" stuttered Dong Shanshan as she looked over to Zhang Ye.

Zhang Ye slowly raised his hand to cover half his face, taking a few steps backwards.

Yao Jiancai said, "As far as I know, that young man is very capable at his job and is a good candidate for promotion. The organization has decided to push him into management!"

Hearing that, Zhang Ye cried out in excitement, "Dah!"

Dong Shanshan jumped from the sound.

Yao Jiancai gave a strange look to Zhang Ye.

Zhang Ye hastily explained, "Oh, I was just really happy for him!"

The audience stifled their laughter.

Yao Jiancai gave a slight smile and used the sofa as support to stand. Then he slowly strolled over to Zhang Ye, stating as he walked, "Hǎo Xiāoxī, you should really learn from Comrade Hao Jian." After he finished speaking, he was standing in front of Zhang Ye. He helped Zhang Ye remove the "scarf" from his neck as he said, "If you want to accomplish something at work, you can't take any shortcuts. All you can do is work hard and be down to earth."

Zhang Ye was stunned.

Dong Shanshan was sweating profusely.

Yao Jiancai turned and walked to the table tennis table, placing one end of the "scarf" into the table. "Also, when you have nothing better to do, don't go giving yourself a stage name." Then he walked to the other side of the table and slotted in the other end as well. After that, he pointed at Zhang Ye and said, "Otherwise, when the actual good news (hǎo xiāoxī) arrives, you can't even accept it. Wouldn't that be sad."

A round of applause echoed!

Zhang Ye lowered his head and finally spoke with honesty, "Director, my name is Hao Jian. I'm sorry, I was wrong!"

"Enough!" Dong Shanshan stood up, walked over, and pulled him behind her. "Is this your fault? Director Yao, it's my fault. If you have to blame anyone, blame me! It was through my lax management that I slipped up and let him to take on a stage name!" She then looked at the table tennis table with an expression of shock. She bent down to touch it and said with a jolt, "Aiyo, oh my god! Is this a table tennis table? What's it doing in my office? Why didn't I know about it!"

The audience went crazy!

"Hahahaha!"

"She's really too good at playing dumb!"

"Pfft, hahahahaha!"

Director Yao's expression suddenly changed as he raised his voice and said, "Enough! Mǎ Jīngjīng! Mǎ pì jīng (bootlicker)! You black sheep! The relevant departments already know of you and your behavior. I came here today to find out for myself just how bad it has gotten." He laughed coldly. "You have really widened my horizon! Getting paid by the country without working, taking shortcuts by pandering to your superiors! Await your just desserts!"

He turned around and left!

Dong Shanshan was panicking. She hurriedly chased after him and shouted, "Director Yao! Director Yao, I was wrong! Director Yao, please give me another chance!" She left the office as well.

Only Zhang Ye was left onstage.

Some of the audience members were nodding and wagging their fingers at the act.

"This change was unexpected, but good!"

"Yeah, the entire act was complete with that part!"

"Satirizing bootlicking was a very good concept! This is the subject matter of the moment!"

"How exciting to watch!"

"How'll they conclude it?"

"I don't know!"

"It's ending soon. Let's see Zhang Ye perform the final part!"

"Yeah, the key lies in the conclusion!'

The audience all sat up in focus.

The home audience watching on their televisions were also waiting to see how Zhang Ye would end it!

On the stage.

Zhang Ye turned back to face the audience and soliloquized, "Something big has happened. Our Manager Ma has also been swatted down." He sighed, then condemned, "It's not right to bootlick. Don't always think of what the leaders want to hear, but of what the citizens need!"

"Yeah!"

"Right!"

"Well said!"

A wave of enthusiastic applause sounded from the audience!

When the live audience thought that that was it, Zhang Ye unexpectedly stayed onstage with something more to say!

Everyone was also stunned by this. It wasn't over yet? Wasn't that the concluding statement the end?

Zhang Ye looked at the live audience and suddenly said with eloquence, "I understand at last. I need to take this as a lesson. If I want to be a competent employee, I must…" His voice rose as he said loudly, "Reject prostitution! Gambling! And table tennis!"

After he said that, Zhang Ye turned around and walked off stage!

Not far from the stage, Hou Ge was just drinking a sip of water but had to spit it back out. "Pfft!"

No one had expected Zhang Ye to end it like that!

No one could have thought that Zhang Ye would still remember to insult others at the very end of the skit!

Chang Xiaoliang: "…"

Hu Fei: "…"

Beijing Television's deputy station head: "…"

The entire audience burst out into laughter. Their laughter was like an explosion, reverberating throughout the entire venue along with their applause!

"Hahahahaha!"

"How sarcastic!"

"That was such a low blow!"

"Aiyo, what the heck!"

"This is the result of offending this guy!"

"Aiyo, I'm dying of laughter!"

"Zhang Ye is so damn funny!"

"That hot temper is what I like about him, hahaha!"

"I suspect that he did this entire skit just to deliver that last line!"

"Awesome! How awesome!"

This was the true nature of Face-smacking Zhang! This skit today completely adhered to Zhang Ye's proud heritage—using his works to deliver a message, using his life to scold people! And he even scolded them frankly and openly, in a fresh and refined manner! In the entire country, in the whole world, there wasn't another person like him!

He was very bold!

He was too much of a hooligan!

He was indeed worthy of being known as the most notorious fucking hooligan in the entertainment industry!

...

Overseas.

In the hotel where the national table tennis team was lodged.

Han Li bellowed, "Zhaaaaaaang!"

His teammate, Li Qi, smashed a cup onto the floor. "I'll be at odds with him forever!"

"At odds with him forever!"

"Zhang Ye! Your grandma!"

"You're too goddamn wicked!"

"Holy shit!"

"You don't have to go so far!"

The team members were all banging on the tables!

The head coach, Liu Yifeng, and those from the coaching staff were trembling in anger. They gnashed their teeth and shouted, "Zhang! Starting today! The sporting world will fight to the bitter end against you!"