His Rui

'Because I don't have any reason to trust you.'

The words buzzed in Xi Ying's ears making him feel as if there was something stuck in his throat.

He went to find her father and brothers on the borders, he brought them back safely, he also fought for Li Clan in the Imperial Court…in front of the Emperor itself …

…and she says that she doesn't have any reason to trust him.

What more could he do to prove to her that he…he really was trying to protect her and her people?

Regardless of what kind of expression the young Prime Minister's face had, Li Rui continued with her same blank eyes.

"Four years ago, on Rui's first night in Xi Manor, Prime Minister Xi had called Rui 'a disgusting woman who drugged Prime Minister Xi'. That night Rui had seen the true disgust and hatred in Prime Minister Xi's eyes for herself. "

Xi Ying gulped as he heard Li Rui's words and his eyes lowered subconsciously unable to look in those clean black eyes.

He actually didn't have anything to say in his defense.

What could he say when he himself couldn't comprehend the change of his heart?

If today, someone tells Xi Ying that Li Rui really drugged him and if this was really the truth then …Xi Ying thought that he would not mind this fact.

He would not even mind if she wants to use him to save her people… as long as she trust him, gives a small space inside her heart, and stays by his side.

He wouldn't mind anything.

In fact, it would give his bitter heart a little satisfaction if Rui used him for herself.

He could do anything …he could forgive her for anything because she was the woman who owned his heart.

Then why did he behave like that four years ago?

Xi Ying himself could not understand his past self.

He remembered how many times how he would step forward to go to Plum Courtyard then suddenly would step just after taking one step. His heart would start to fill with a feeling of repulsion whenever he thought about Li Rui and he found his escape in his son.

Because Xi Ling, in the end, was born by Li Rui and he would always feel closer to her whenever he wished to see Li Rui.

Although his mind and heart didn't allow him to meet Li Rui, he never felt repulsed by his son.

Amidst his ongoing thoughts, Xi Ying heard Li Rui continuing.

"Four years later, Prime Minister Xi suddenly steps inside Rui's courtyard after Rui raised the request to get separation. Even Xiao Ling was returned to Rui. Then Prime Minister Xi goes to the border and saves Rui's father and brothers.

After coming back, Prime Minister Xi asks Rui to trust him. But how can Prime Minister Xi expect Rui to trust him when Rui doesn't have any reason to do such a thing."

Li Rui went silent for a moment giving Xi Ying enough time to process her words before she continued

"How can Rui accept the sudden change Prime Minister Xi went through in the past few months without any reasons?"

And the knot in Xi Ying's heart where he blamed Li Rui for not trusting him, loosened suddenly after hearing these words.

Realization dawned on him.

Li Rui was right.

An intelligent woman like her …how could she accept his sudden change without any reason? If there was any other woman in place of L Rui then perhaps she could but he knew Li Rui after staying by her side for three months.

She would never trust anyone without any reason.

But how could he give her the reason? He possibly could not tell her that for some period of time and stayed by his side without his body and got to know about some truths that he had not known previously.

She would not believe him.

Even if he had been in her place he would not have believed such a thing.

And he didn't have any ways to prove himself.

By telling her the things he had found out to prove himself …she would only become warier of him thinking that he had left some hidden guards in the Plum Courtyard to keep an eye on her.

Xi Ying suddenly found himself very helpless.

"Then what can I do? "

He let out what was going inside his heart.

"What can I do to make you believe me?"

He looked at Li Rui helplessly. The Prime Minister of Xin had never shown himself in such a state to anyone.

"Can't you give me a chance? Rui, I will not disappoint me. Try to trust me just once."

He begged putting aside all of his anger, coldness, and arrogance. He begged in front of the woman he loved … to trust him.

Even Li Rui was startled by what she was seeing.

Her eyes flickered for a moment as she remembered the words said by her father in the Imperial Palace.

'Trusting people is hard but not giving a chance to trust when they are trying hard it's not good.'

(The credit of this nice line goes to a lovely reader 'Beginnersmind'.)

She also found the words reasonable but…

Li Rui smiled coldly

"Unfortunately, circumstances don't allow Rui to do such a thing. Rui can't afford to trust Prime Minister Xi by putting Li Clan in such a danger."

What if she gave him a chance and trusted him …only to see Li Clan vanish because of her folly.

The matter that involved her Clan…Li Rui can't afford to take a chance in such matters.

Xi Ying understood her unsaid words very wisely and he couldn't refute them.

He was again left with nothing but his helplessness as he heard Li Rui's next words.

"A man who had schemed against Li Clan for four years with the Emperor himself …how can Li Rui trust him without any reason?....especially after hearing what Princess Wenling said with her own ears? …or seeing how Prime Minister Xi tried to lessen the power of Li Clan with her own eyes…"