Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 236 – Florida Man Found His Wife Unconscious at Home, Calls Fisherman for Advice Instead of Calling an Ambulance.

"Hmm."

Overlord Milo and his troops remained at the Cauliflower City. Their leader silently observed the battle from afar. On the other hand, the troops panicked as they lost contact with their operators.

"Your Excellency! We can't communicate with our mothership anymore!"

"My lord. Our colony might have been destroyed. What should we do?"

Overlord Milo was silent. He narrowed his eyes and kept his eyes on Leo, but he didn't know that he was the Florida Man he had been looking for.

"Avoid that place. We'll go kidnap and kill other Nu'Earthe of this planet!"

"But the colony…"

"Screw the colony. I can drag you useless idiots home whenever I want to! Follow me and shut up!"

"Y-Yes, my lord."

The vanguard team departed from the city and flew northeast.

While flying, Overlord Milo thought of a certain Ohio man, who gave him the wrong coordinate of Florida Man. He grumbled and inwardly cursed him.

'What a waste of time! I could have spent my precious time searching for Florida Man! Because of that stupid elf, I lost my colony star, and my team is stranded here. Well, I'm gonna pretend that we're busy fighting on this planet and retreat after I get my war trophies. The elves can't blame me if I bring home a bunch of Nu'Earthes.'

The group ignored the scenery and made their way toward a mountain range, where a certain dual-cultivation sect was located.

30 minutes later, Overlord Milo found the hidden sect and a large city. He laughed and ordered his men.

"Capture everybody! We need war trophies to show those idiot elves that we WORKED. When we return, we will get our remuneration and reimbursement for our destroyed colony!"

The werewolves stopped thinking about their destroyed base. They eyed the panicking mortals and sneered.

The group of immortals and deities launched their attacks, while the mortals did their best to resist and retaliate. Situ Nantian, Murong Qi, and the people of Ouyang Clan united to fight back.

Although the city of Tappaya City and the Joyous Yin-Yang Sect housed many experts, they all failed to resist. Within 10 minutes, they were either captured or killed.

Situ Clan, Ouyang Clan, Murong Qi, and half of the cultivators from the city were taken away. As for the city and the sect, they were left in ruins.

Overlord Milo didn't waste time. He gathered his subordinates and summoned a magic shopping system. He purchased a mass-teleportation scroll by spending 100,000 years of lifespan. Then, he brought his people away from this planet.

.

.

After losing contact with Overlord Milo and Overlord Max, Captain Ingof Jack made a decisive decision. He relayed his order with a heavy heart.

"… Retreat. Recall the battleships and detonate all unmanned drones."

The crewmates were silent. They lowered their heads in regret that they shouldn't have followed the order of Overlord Mao, who abandoned them during a critical time. Everybody gnashed their teeth in frustration.

The cube mothership gently traveled forward, retrieving the surviving battleships. Several drones also flew back from the planet. As for the jets and the drones in the atmosphere, they rearranged their formation and charged toward Leo's domain.

The jets performed a kamikaze attack on Leo's buildings!

Ingof Jack didn't bother waiting for the result of the suicide attack. He counted the number of surviving battleships and operated the navigation console in front of him. He pressed a few buttons and put his palm on the flat glass to confirm his identity.

DING

The cube mothership slowly faded to nothingness as it teleported back to the Swastika Galaxy.

.

.

BOOM

BOOM

Jets and drones crashed into Leo's farms, pylon tower, apartments, houses, warehouses, granaries, and the recycling center. The west slum was annihilated while the Tang Clan's manor was leveled because of the suicide jets.

The pony team ignored every building, but they surrounded Leo's shopping mall. They used everything necessary to shoot down oncoming jets, which targeted their main base.

Lightning bolts, lasers, and various Qi techniques shot down jets and drones nearby. Taxi and Ricardo got sweaty as they worked the hardest.

While the two horse monsters fought, they gained an insight. Both Ricardo and Taxi transformed and ascended. Their lower bodies retained the horse part, but their neck and head were replaced by a humanoid upper torso, arms, and human heads.

A nightmare centaur and a unicorn centaur emerged for the first time!

Both Taxi and Ricardo took the first step into the immortal realm. They were no longer regular monsters but mythical monsters.

The black and white centaurs panted as their Qi was almost depleted after they had shot down ten thousand drones and jets. They were on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion.

As they were about to give up, the onslaught was over. The last suicide bombers were shot down by Gao Yan and Jin Yong.

All horses fell to the ground as they were dying to take a long rest. Some of them neighed and begged for water.

"…Smash." (Anybody, I need water.)

"Smash." (I wish I had an apple.)

"…S-Smash?" (Am I dreaming? Why am I seeing a sexy zebra twerking her butt at me? Hey, come here. Let me smash that!)

Everybody was out of commission. Had their enemies pressed the attack, they would have lied there and waited for their demise as their minds already gave up fighting.

While the ponies got their precious rest, a commotion took place on top of the parking lot. Ivy, who had let her troops combat the intruders, returned to her master's side and discovered something shocking.

Esen collapsed. Her heart also stopped beating!

"YOUR MAJESTY!! WHY?! WHAT HAPPENED?! MEDIC!!"

Ivy injected her Qi into Esen's chest, but the latter's dantian didn't react to her energy. Instead, Ivy's Qi leaked out of Esen's pores and orifices.

Beatrice rushed in. She fed Esen the "Hope and Dream" pill, which she had kept for emergencies. This was Leo's strongest healing medicine.

After feeding Esen the pill, the latter's complexion looked better. Her heart woke up and resumed its duty. Her lungs reacted and began pumping air.

However, Esen didn't wake up.

Beatrice and Ivy frowned. They looked at each other.

"Let's ask His Majesty for help," Ivy suggested.

Beatrice nodded. She looked up to find Leo in the void.

Coincidentally, Leo also rushed back to his domain as he had a hunch. He flew toward the parking lot building and found the group.

Leo flinched when he found Esen sleeping on the hard floor. He instinctively touched his chest as he couldn't feel their connection.

Something was cut. Leo was sure that Mao Miaomiao did something to him and Esen before he escaped.

'That bastard! What did he do?!'

Leo sat next to Esen's body. He pried open her mouth to tease her.

"Wake up, princess. If you don't wake up, I'll finger your throat and play with your uvula."

"…"

Esen didn't react. Only her subordinates stared at Leo's face, questioning his joke and timing with their expressions.

As Leo didn't get any answer, he stopped playing. He carried Esen in his arms and brought her to his bus. After reaching his room, Leo rested her on his bed.

Ivy and others followed Leo into his room. They looked at him.

"What happened to her, Your Majesty? Do you know anything?" Asked Ivy.

Leo couldn't answer. He had a feeling that he knew the answer. But at the same time, he was clueless. Thus, he pondered out loud.

"Sleeping beauty curse? Do I need to kiss you to wake you up?"

Leo put his theory into action. He leaned over and kissed Esen in front of her subordinates, hoping to end this farce as soon as possible.

When their lips touched, Leo recalled the hot night they had. He remembered that Esen tried to bite his lips, but her fangs couldn't do anything to his flesh.

Thinking of the pleasant past hurt Leo's feelings in this situation. He wished Esen would wake up soon.

Leo parted his lips with hers. He gazed at her peaceful sleeping face.

"Hey, brat. Stop playing. Wake up."

"…"

Esen remained asleep.

"Dammit. WAKE UP!"

"…"

"I SAID. WAKE! UP!"

Leo screamed at Esen's face, but she was still out.

The crowd silently waited for Leo to show them another miracle. Unfortunately, it didn't happen.

One of the liches whispered to his friends.

"Hey, should we try to resurrect her as an undead? Then, we let His Majesty cure her again."

Leo overheard that. He widened his eyes as he was enlightened. Thus, he brought out the staff of singularity to enhance his necromancy power.

But as Leo was about to use the power of necromancy on Esen, Ivy, and Beatrice grabbed his arms. Although they didn't have enough strength to stop him, they reminded Leo.

"Your Majesty! Her Majesty is still alive! You can't turn her into an undead while she's alive! If you do, she will be in a lot of pain!" Ivy warned Leo.

"She is alive. Necromancy is unnecessary!" Beatrice also didn't like what Leo was about to do.

Leo listened to the women and snorted. He glanced at them.

"Then, any better idea? Why is she in comatose?"

"…That's."

Ivy and Beatrice couldn't explain either. They lowered their heads.

Everybody also avoided eye contact with Leo. None of the undead legions understood why Esen was in this condition.

"Calm down, master. I can explain."

"!!!"

While everybody was in confusion, one of Leo's guardian statues entered the bus. He was none other than Kitten, aka Aslan.

The fisherman statue shrank his body to match Leo's size. He walked into the room.

The crowd of elves and Molg tribesmen parted ways for the fisherman statue to enter. Aslan stood at the foot of the bed and lowered his head to greet Leo.

"Kitten?" Leo was surprised. "Oh, right. I forgot about you. Did you come back from the mystic realm to help us fight? You're quite considerate."

Aslan snickered. "Let's save the pleasantry for another occasion. Let's look at the patient first."

"…"

Leo raised his eyebrows. For some reason, this fisherman didn't act or talk like a fisherman. Instead, he sounded like a mature doctor from a hospital.

Aslan approached Esen and used his fingers to open her eyelids. Light came out of Aslan's fingertips as if they were flashlights.

The fisherman checked the response of Esen's iris, but she didn't react. He closed her eyes and deeply sighed.

"Master, have you ever heard about the term Karma Severance?"

"Karma Severance?"

"It's going to be a long story. Also, please excuse us."

Aslan glanced at Ivy, Beatrice, and their companions. He gestured that he wanted to be with Leo alone.

Ivy pouted, "Can some of us stay?"

Aslan shook his head. "Your cultivation base is too low. Learning about advanced terms and techniques of the higher realms will disrupt your growth and dao heart. I don't want to traumatize you."

"…"

Beatrice firmly nodded in understanding and turned around. She waved her hands, asking her colleagues to leave.

Ivy was unwilling to leave. But as there was nothing she could do, she grudgingly left the room and left Aslan and Leo alone.

The door was closed. Aslan waved his finger to create a sound-protected domain to isolate their voices.

"So," Leo crossed his arms. "What do you know that I don't know?"

"Alright. I'll explain."