Cultivation Chat Group (Web Novel)

Song Shuhang: “…”

“Relax, Sage Monarch Winter Melon has already left,” Su Clan’s Sixteen said with a smile.

“So, was Senior Brother Song already beaten up by Sage Monarch Winter Melon?” Loli Shi blinked.

Song Shuhang sighed. “Do you have no confidence in me? Sage Monarch Winter Melon has just given up and left. Let’s eat and stop making wild guesses.”

…In order to prevent Shi from continuing to spout random things, Song Shuhang quickly changed the topic.

The monster bird little Cai excitedly said, “Teacher is mighty and tyrannical!”

Song Shuhang casually forced a ‘Saber Intent Condensing Lotus Seed’ into Little Cai’s mouth. “Stop with the flattery. How’s your practice of the ❮Steel Hands Technique❯ going?” These days, Little Cai had been taken around by Fairy Dongfang Six to ferry souls, so he didn’t really know how her practice had been progressing.

Her remaining lifespan wasn’t that long, and even lending her ‘Virtuous Golden Lotus seeds’ and ‘living spring’ would only increase it to 100 years. If she didn’t practice diligently and break through within 100 years, then she would be done for.

“Regarding your question, Teacher, I’ve already achieved some results. I’ve attained the beginner level proficiency when I was practicing the ❮Steel Hands Technique❯. Elder Dongfang has given me a lot of advice.” After little Cai swallowed the Saber Intent Condensing Lotus Seed, she felt that she had gained a deeper understanding of the ‘saber’.

“Let me show you, Teacher.” After she spoke, Little Cai jumped back and silently operated the ❮Steel Hands Technique❯. In the next moment, a dark hue condensed on the tip of her wings, with the wings seemingly having become like black iron.

Then, Little Cai flapped her wings and flew by a small tree nearby. The wings were like blades as they split the small tree into two.

“Not bad.” Song Shuhang nodded, and said, “The daoist name Virtuous Buddhist Sabersman really fits you. After a while, I will teach you the ❮Inverted Scale Saber Technique❯.”

…Song Shuhang hoped to have Little Cai learn the ❮Inverted Scale Saber Technique❯ before she condensed her ‘saber intent’. He wanted to see if his saber intent’s becoming ‘Saber Intent Armor’ was due to his practice of this technique.

“Thank you, Teacher,” Little Cai said excitedly.

Having had enough tea and food, Song Shuhang put away the picnic cloth. Then, he and Su Clan’s Sixteen rode their sabers towards Lady Onion’s birthplace.

Shi rode on Su Clan’s Sixteen’s flying saber, while Little Cai stood on Song Shuhang’s shoulder.

During the flight, Loli Shi bit her fingers, and said, “By the way, Senior Brother Song, has your duel with Sage Monarch Winter Melon tonight really been cancelled?”

Song Shuhang nodded.

Loli Shi curiously said, “That’s weird, then why did I have such a weird dream?”

Song Shuhang’s heart moved. “Is your dream perhaps… a prophetic ability?”

The practitioners in the world of cultivation had all kinds of talents and racial abilities. If Loli Shi really did have a talent of ‘precognitive dreams’, wouldn’t that mean that he would really be knocked down to the ground by Sage Monarch Winter Melon? And, the key point in her words was that… he was beaten up miserably.

“No.” Loli Shi shook her head.

Song Shuhang let out a sigh of relief.

However, for some reason, Shi’s words caused him to feel slightly disturbed.

As such, as they were flying, Song Shuhang took out his mobile phone, went to the ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’, and asked, Is any senior online?”

“Yo, Shuhang, you’re finally online. Everyone was talking about you,” True Monarch Northern River said. “It’s the Mid-Autumn Festival today, and there’s a full moon tonight. Calculating the time, that Sage Monarch Winter Melon should have come looking for you, right?”

“Yeah, he came to me.” Song Shuhang sighed.

Fairy Lychee asked, “So, did you get beat up?”

I’m that little white crane at the edge of the Earth’s End happily asked, “Have you been knocked down to the ground? Do the fists of an Eighth Stage Profound Sage hurt?”

Song Shuhang grinned. “Seniors, all of you really lack confidence in me. Sage Monarch Winter Melon has given up and left, and the battle tonight has been canceled. In other words, I’ve won this round.”

When Song Shuhang finished speaking, the entire ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’ suddenly went silent.

It was an especially strange silence.

After a long while.

Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: “Impossible, how could this happen?”

Fairy Lychee: “This isn’t scientific.”

True Monarch Northern River: “Am I still sleeping? Or is it that I woke up in the wrong posture today?”

True Monarch Ancient Lake Temple: “Are we traveling through time and space and chatting with a Fellow Daoist Song from the future?”

Frice Reckless Mad Saber: “The script is wrong, this is too strange.”

Song Shuhang: “…”

Seniors, what are you trying to say…? Are you all really that unconfident in my abilities? Well, I guess it should be pretty normal that you don’t believe in me, but you guys seem to have been hoping that I would get badly beaten up by Sage Monarch Winter Melon!

Whose side are you on?!

Song Shuhang sighed, and replied, “I used the nuclear deterrence, so Sage Monarch Winter Melon could only choose to retreat.”

Frice Reckless Mad Saber continued, “So that’s the case, but it still feels wrong.”

Song Shuhang: “Seniors, you’re going too far. Do you really want me to get beat up by Sage Monarch Winter Melon so badly?”

“Of course not, we are on your side,” True Monarch Northern River replied immediately. “But the problem is that before this, the shady fortune teller finally found a place with signal and went online, and we chatted for a while.”

Frice Reckless Mad Saber: “Then, Fairy Lychee mentioned the Mid-Autumn Festival, so she asked Copper Trigram to conduct a divination for you on whether or not you would win or lose in the battle between the Sages tonight.”

Fairy Lychee: “Immortal Master Copper Trigram’s divination ended up showing great fortune, and he concluded that you would have a great victory tonight, such that you would even beat up Sage Monarch Winter Melon until he surrendered. The battle tonight would then be spread all over the world of cultivation and raise your image as the ‘first Sage in a thousand years’.”

Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: “So, do you understand now?”

Song Shuhang: “F*ck!”

Senior Copper Trigram’s divinations had to be viewed in reverse. In fact, in a sense, Senior Copper Trigram’s divinations were very accurate… as long as they were viewed in reverse.

As such, when considering the opposite of great fortune… wasn’t it a horrible omen?

According to the divination, he was supposed to crush Sage Monarch Winter Melon, making him surrender. If this was interpreted the other way around, wouldn’t he be the one crushed by Sage Monarch Winter Melon?

In the divination, he would become famous all over the world of cultivation tonight, which would bring him great renown as the ‘first Sage in a thousand years’. If this was interpreted the other way around, then tonight, he was supposed to become the biggest joke in the world of cultivation, and his opponent, the fifth Sage in a thousand years Sage Monarch Winter Melon, would become famous for eons to come.

Thinking back to what Loli Shi had said just now, she had a nightmare of Song Shuhang getting miserably beaten up.

Song Shuhang’s heart suddenly became cold.

He thought of a possibility.

…Perhaps Sage Monarch Winter Melon would come back as he had already figured out a way to deal with the ‘nuclear weapons’? Either that or he had figured out that the ‘nuclear weapons’ couldn’t explode in the main world.

Then, tonight, on the night of the full moon, Sage Monarch Winter Melon would make a comeback, bringing reporters from media such as the Daily Cultivator, Secret Information Center, Shengang Broadcasting Station, Temple Channel, Magician Hub, and so on to live broadcast the drama [Winter Melon beating up Song Shuhang].

The more Song Shuhang thought about it, the worse his feelings became.

F*ck, I’m done for!

❄️❄️❄️

Su Clan’s Sixteen saw Song Shuhang’s face change, and curiously asked, “What happened now?”

Song Shuhang sighed. “Senior Copper Trigram performed a divination for me not too long ago, about the battle between Sage Monarch Winter Melon and me.”

Su Clan’s Sixteen’s heart moved, and she asked, “The result of the divination… was good fortune?”

“Mm-hm, he speculated that tonight, I would beat up Sage Monarch Winter Melon until he surrenders. Then, I would gain great renown as the ‘first Sage in a thousand years’ all over the world of cultivation.” Song Shuhang revealed a smile that was so bitter as if he had just swallowed the most bitter food in the world.

Su Clan’s Sixteen: “…”

Immortal Master Copper Trigram’s divinations had to be viewed the other way around—this was an unchangeable truth.

Because if Immortal Master Copper Trigram’s divinations actually came true… that only meant that the world was about to end.

Su Clan’s Sixteen softly asked, “So…?”

Song Shuhang said using the secret voice transmission, “It is very likely that soon, Sage Monarch Winter Melon will figure out that my ‘nuclear deterrence’ is a mere paper tiger, or find a way to deal with my ‘nuclear deterrence’. Then, tonight, he would come to challenge and beat me up.”

Su Clan’s Sixteen asked, “Then, what do we do?”

Song Shuhang thought about it, and replied, “If I can’t change the fact that I’m going to get beaten up tonight, there’s only one last way out. I’ll need to look for someone to replace me in getting beaten up.”

“Whom are you going to look for?”

Song Shuhang said, “I’ll tell you when the time comes.”

The virtuous lamia could transform into his image, and it was so impeccable that even an ‘Immortal’ wouldn’t be able to recognize the real from fake in a short period of time.

However, if he let the virtuous lamia go in his stead, it would very likely end up in failure.

Song Shuhang could already imagine the entire plot in his brain.

On the night of the full moon, Sage Monarch Winter Melon would walk under the moonlight with a huge sword and golden armor, looking very cool.

On the opposite side, the virtuous lamia that had transformed into Song Shuhang would be standing silently with both hands behind her back.

Then, Sage Monarch Winter Melon would smile slightly, about to say something.

At that point… the virtuous lamia would scream, “Aaaaahhh~”

Then, she’d fall to the ground and ‘die’.

Such a scene… even imagining it in his head already left him extremely embarrassed.

Unless there was truly no other choice, Song Shuhang wouldn’t resort to using the ‘virtuous lamia’.

Besides the virtuous lamia, there was still the puppet that was to be repaired. However, the puppet wasn’t his, and its appearance was different from his own. Moreover, she was seriously injured and unable to fight.

Song Shuhang thought for a long time… It seemed that only virtuous lamia could replace him.

Could it be that she’s the only one I can send out to fight?

After Song Shuhang thought about it, he took out his mobile phone and said in the Nine Provinces Number One Group, “Seniors, are there any clone techniques that can replace the user to get beaten in his place?”

Fairy Lychee: “Are there really such clone techniques? If so, then please give me a dozen!”

True Monarch Northern River: “Same here!”

True Monarch Fallout: “Tsk, tsk, I want such a clone technique too. It would simply be a life-saving technique.”

True Monarch Yellow Mountain said, “I have several kinds of clone techniques here. However, the clone techniques I have are very low-level, and the cloning would require the accompaniment of very precious materials.”

He had an army of ‘smurfs’ which were especially prepared for Daoist Priest Cloudy Mist. Within that army, there was quite a significant number of his employees, and there were some of his clones as well.