Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Chapter 982 PINEAPPLES!

Our vehicles were lined up in the same order they did before—after careful maintenance and whatnot with the addition of Logan and company—and before we got in and put our keys in the ignition, Sal, Edith, Nancy, Elsa, Mauro, Sebastian, Clyde, Lisa, and even Rogue who was surprisingly behaving like a puppy with Nem-Nem and Mie-My, were planning to send us off with a few words, mostly:

Sal started looking a few years younger, "Kid. Have a safe trip, alright?"

"Of course—"

"And that helicopter of yours. I won't trust anyone else to fly it but YOU. If any other motherfucker swooped in to pick my niece and Nancy up, I'll check if they're hot first before doing away with them, GOT IT?!"

"Wut— S-Sure, I guess…"

Then she glanced at the Raycolt where Lopez was, "And yeah, I'm not sure about your situation with that fucking guy but do remind him that I fucking own his ass from time to time. He got issues but he got his uses, remind yourself that too if you ever want to put a bullet in his head—"

"I'm good in 'that' department though—"

Then Sal leaned in suddenly with a whisper, "This is gonna sound dirty—"

"Again, I'm good—"

"Listen here, you little fuck, listen! You already dipped your toe over to my side and you did well considering you didn't let the power that dapper fella, Cuervo, gave you get over your head but there are times you need people like that emaciated cuck to do some dirty work for ya. That's one of the few ways you take some targets off your back and keep your ledger a little cleaner even though we all know that ours are already pretty bloody. You get what I'm saying?"

I looked at her solemnly before I nodded, "I do… Nice reference though—"

"Cheh. Talk soon, alright? And also, marry Kaley already and whoever the fuck's next in line so that Edith here could have a kid from you—"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!/ AUNTIE!!!/ HAAAH?!" Everyone else that was too many to put in exclaimed upon hearing that statement.

"Look, we gotta repopulate sooner or later and Elsa and Mauro 'ere are doing just that. iF you two 'husband' and 'wife' take too long, I'mma request for a sample! Edith's getting pregnant one way or another— HEY! WHO FUCKING THREW THAT ACORN AT ME?! WANNA FUCKING DIE?!"

Sebastian who totally~ wasn't the one who threw it at Sal answered, "We don't know what you're talking about Madam… However, everyone else wanted to say a few things too so I'm graciously asking if—"

"BLAH~ BLAH~ BLAH~ I'm done! Who's next?"

At that point, Rogue understood the assignment and just gave me a gently nudge and a loud snort before Nem-Nem and Mie-My almost did the same thing. After that, Rogue, started to walk back by himself before Edith and Nancy approached us.

They almost said the same thing as last time we spoke, as well as Elsa and Mauro when they reminded me to send over their wedding gifts—especially now since they didn't have to wait for the ship to come back because I'll be hovering in a couple or a few days.

Clyde did so as well but he prepared the same custom gear for Kaley and everyone else and his only request to me was to send a letter or give him a call if we reached new PRs.

But yeah, the last one to approach me was Sebastian because Lisa just gave us some more food before walking over to Jesus, and he looked a little melancholic after he gave me a respectful bow:

"My lord, you've helped me in ways you couldn't even begin to understand and I'll be forever grateful. I'll await your next visit and the ones that will hopefully follow after that. I'm a little sad I wouldn't be able to briefly travel with all of you since the lady would be picked up at a later date but I do hope for the ones that would try to harm you a painful death."

Tatiana cackled from the back, "Can't you just wish us a safe trip?"

Sebastian shook his head with a chuckle, "I doubt you all would be in danger even if you wanted to."

"That's true, I guess…"

"So…"

"Right…"

At that point, we finally exchanged goodbyes and farewells before their guards opened the gate for us. We drove out one after the other at the same speed and as always, Jesus was leading the pack because he had several optimal routes planned out yesterday.

For the days we were here, the situation outside could stay the same or change drastically at any given point, but with his connections at several points of interest, he could lead us to the safest route possible or if he was trying to lose a tail, he could bring them to a place overrun with zeds and come out unscathed.

In any case, the first few miles went swimmingly well even when we passed by the area where this human blockade was present before, and it seemed that the rest of their group was either eradicated from the map or they willingly chose not to mess with us.

Meg radioed in to tell us that she wasn't intercepting any chatter even when we passed by the same spot as last time, but what was inherently apparent was the number of burned-down buildings that weren't in a single spot or area. Furthermore, we barely saw a deadhead skipping around or the like and it was making me a little curious.

Fire usually starts in one spot and then spreads around until it gets bigger and bigger but the buildings we passed by were too far apart and too contained to be accidental so something must've happened here in a specific order in order for those things to make sense.

"Could be a kill zone? Gather as much as you could in one spot before burning the place down then rinse and repeat," Quinn mentioned.

Tatiana nodded, "I guess some people were still doing good in the world besides us."

Kaley turned around to look at Tatiana who was sitting at the back, "Not everyone's turned to the dark side but they did try to monitor us last time."

I chimed in, "They're probably just doing their own share of keeping the dead off the streets… In their own way…"

With that said, the drive continued on until we reached our first stop of the long drive—Jonathan and Allie's place, the Cockfighting Arena—that still looked the same as it was with the same thugs lounging around outside and mad-dogging anyone new that comes in.

But this time, the Jack fellow who tried to stir some shit with me gave me the red carpet treatment.

However, his great introduction to me was instantly swallowed by the loud cheering that came from the inside and I figured that this place was working hard this early.

I figured it wouldn't hurt to check what was going on because they did lose Kuzma, but god fucking dammit the guy knows how to fucking excite and entertain the crowd in the most bizarre of ways.

Because as soon as we stepped inside, two individuals were fighting for dear life in this tug-of-war of sorts with a wall of the dead surrounding their already cramped space. The smell combined with the humidity was a paragraph for another day but their options were severely limited not only by the dead chomping on their backs if they pulled too far but also the fucking bear traps spread around the floor mixed with a bunch of sharp caltrops.

I could only imagine the debt they incurred to Jonathan to put on a show like this because it looked like it was designed for neither of them to survive, much less come out unscathed.

But yeah, it was definitely entertaining if you were the one watching the show and betting on different odds but as soon as I opened the door to Jonathan's office, I had to close it almost immediately and almost resorted to plucking out my eyeballs and rinsing them with bleach or alcohol.

"WHAT THE—"

"DADDY! IT'S HIM! THEY CAME BACK!"

"WHY'D YOU CLOSE THE DOOR AS SOON AS YOU CAME IN! IT'S UNLOCKED FOR A REASON, KID!"

lightsnοvεl "THERE'S ALSO ANOTHER REASON WHY LOCKS FUCKING EXISTS!"

"WHAAAAT? WE'RE JUST PLAYING DOCTOR AND I JUST HAPPENED TO BE THE PATIENT WHEN YOU GOT HERE!"

"UH-HUH! I'VE SEEN PLENTY AND YOU DIDN'T NEED TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"

"OHHH~ NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN! I'M SURE YOU'RE ALSO INTO SOME PRETTY WEIRD SHIT, DON'T KINKSHAME ME, ALRIGHT?! JUST GET IN HERE SO WE COULD TALK!"

"FUCKING WHERE?! THIS GODDAMN UNLOCKED DOOR OR YOUR GAPING ASSHOLE?! WHO FUCKING PUTS A PINEAPPLE IN THERE?!"

"I DO! THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR RUINING THE MOOD! Allie, dear… can you please pull it OUT— NOT THAT QUICK! JESUS!"

"K! THX! I'VE SEEN ENOUGH! WE'RE MOVING ON!"