Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Chapter 721 – Shopping, Making A Killing, And Scamming

I was already bracing myself for a would-be outburst but it didn't happen. However, I didn't expect such words to come out of Kaley's mouth, but before that, she cutely stared me down before grabbing onto my arms and pulling me close.

"H-Hngh… Y-You c-cuntblock! Did you know that we were d-doing something w-when Mr. Cuervo called for her help?! I was r-really close t-too…"

I chuckled before I put my hands up, "I d-didn't do it on purpose, Quinn's crew looked for trouble and it just escalated and escalated– Wait, Cynthia was also there, right? Why'd–"

"It's not the same, alright?! Quinn being there and Cynthia being there are two different things!"

Cynthia added, "Y-Yeah! I was also really close while I was watching them but it got ruined when I heard my bro– Mr. Cuervo's voice!"

"Then~ can't you two just–"

The two exploded, "It's not the same, alright?!"

A few heads turned in our direction but Quinn just started laughing. At the same time, Tatiana was just amusedly watching the two while Natasha looked like she was feeling out of place.

It was because she used to be part of our inner circle but it changed when she hooked up with Ibarra.

Granted she still joined in when Ibarra was still healing because of a certain incident, but we made sure that the parties involved would understand the updated arrangements once it was over. Nevertheless, there was nothing wrong with staying friends and the only difference between our dynamics was that we don't get to have sex.

The only reason an arrangement like ours would never work was if the boundaries and limitations weren't set properly and followed.

Sure, it would take a bit of time to get used to it– and it varies from person to person, but as long as proper communication was established and understanding between the people involved was built, there would be no problems whether they moved on or stayed behind.

With that said, it seemed like I owed the two 'reparations' for cuntblocking them, but since I was already here to buy them anything that they wanted, everything would end peacefully.

Or so I thought.

We weren't even a foot away from the stall that sold handheld weapons when Tatiana pulled 'me' out.

"Hey, Kaley! Look at what I found!"

"Hmm?"

'Oh no…'

"What the–"

It instantly cast a long and girthy shadow above their heads and Tatiana raised it like she just pulled out Excalibur. The only thing missing was the glorious music that would follow and the immediate crowning once the legendary sword was pulled out of the sword-cut rock.

With that said, Kaley and Cynthia's eyes almost popped out of their sockets while their faces had a mix of colorful reactions.

"T-That's too fucking real! H-How?! That's literally him!"

"Tatiana! W-Where did you get this?!"

"It's a long story, hahaha! Trust me, it surprised us too!"

I just shrunk down from having beauties talking about my dick in the open but then our 'rocket' shopkeeper passed by at the right fucking moment. I thought he didn't hear what the girls were talking about but his satellite ears heard every single fucking thing.

"AW, HELL NAW~! HOW MANY GIRLS HAVE SEEN YOUR DICK?! DID YOU PAY THEM TO SAY THAT?! SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU REALLY FUCKING ASIAN OR ARE YOU FUCKING HALF-HORSE?!"

"THAT'S NOT EVEN THE SAME THING!"

"WELL, YOU'RE NOT FUCKING BLACK, RIGHT?!"

"WHY DO I HAVE TO BE BLACK?!"

"WELL, I GUESS YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE VIDEOS I'VE BEEN WATCHING! DON'T BE FOOLED, MICHAEL JACKSON'S BLACK TOO– OW! THE FUCK DID YOU HIT ME FOR?!"

"DO YOU WANT TO GET FUCKING CANCE– ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?!"

"CANCE–WHAT?! IT'S THE FUCKING ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY– OW! STOP FUCKING HITTING ME!"

"YOU GOTTA LEARN ABOUT THE WORLD MORE, YOU LITTLE SHIT! YOU'RE THE EXPERT ON FUCKING DILDOS BUT YOU KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT THE REAL THING! COME WITH ME!"

"WHA– WHERE ARE WE GOING?!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU MIKHAIL'S DICK– OW! KALEY?! WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?! YOU'RE GONNA RUN UP TO MIKHAIL AND SAY, "HEY MIKHAIL, CAN YOU SHOW THIS GUY YOUR DICK? AND OH– HE SELLS DILDOS FOR A LIVING.", IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY TO HIM?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!"

"Yeah? AHHHHHHH! NO! DON'T HIT ME WITH MYSELF!"

"WHY AM I GETTING ATTACKED TOO?!"

"YOU TWO ASKED FOR IT!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Long story short, the dildo guy and I got beaten up by Kaley using 'me' as a weapon, and it was just a fucking fiasco.

None of the other girls even helped me from getting slapped in the face with the 9-inch rubber salami, and if this was the past, someone would've already gotten some footage and sent it to Worldstar Hip-Hop or TMZ.

In any case, everything just eventually blew over and we spent an hour and a half shopping for clothes, shoes, trinkets, jewelry, and other types of shit.

Quinn, Tatiana, and I were already tapping out when we were still in the half-hour mark of their shopping spree but Kaley, Cynthia, and even Natasha were so full of fucking energy. With that said, good thing there was a stall that sold collapsible chairs, and the three of us bought one for each of us to survive each stall the other three went for.

It almost got deadly when a random passerby offered Quinn a bra but overall, it was a well-balanced trip considering the circumstances.

Let's just say I couldn't believe we walked out of the Bazaar with piles upon piles of items the three picked out, but me having two golden coins, our stack of vouchers from killing it in the casino, and Cynthia's rep for being Mr. Cuervo's daughter-but-not-really was enough to get everything they wanted plus extra.

However, the moment we went back to Ibarra's spot, his face lost all color when he discovered that the third of the items we brought were Natasha's.

"B-Boss, h-how much is Nat– I m-mean–"

I just shook my head and waved him off, "Don't worry about it. We had fun and you stayed here, that's enough."

"W-Wait… fun? You don't mean–"

"Wha– N-No, not that kind. We already had that talk, remember? Besides, you're doing us a favor by keeping Natasha out of everyone's safety and–"

"B-Boss, please! Let's stop talking about that incident!"

"Dude, I got chased around and got beaten up by a dildo that's almost an exact replica of my dick, take another bullet for me."

"Huh?! B-But–"

"Then that's the payment for everything that Natasha bought."

"What?! That's– *sigh* Fine… Do you need help with that?"

"Yep."

With that said, Ibarra helped me secure the items we brought to the room provided for us but after our fifth trip of hauling the bags and the boxes they were put in, we just saw Jared and Jose chatting happily with Kaley and the rest. They seemed to have made a killing of their own because they were lugging around unfamiliar weapons cases and several ammo cans.

"Bro! Bro! Come here! Look at what we got! Where were you?! You should've come with us!"

"Easy now, what did you guys win?"

"Feast your eyes!"

The two theatrically opened up the weapons cases they won and it revealed an assortment of guns that almost brought tears to my eyes.

"We won four M16s, an M4 Carbine, two AR-15s, an SKS, two AK47s, an MP5 clone, two M70s, an M24, two Remmington 870s, a TAC-12(Benelli M4 Clone), four Glock 19s, an M1911, a .38 Special, and a motherfucking Colt Python!"

I chuckled while shaking my head, "And the ammo cans?"

"Heh, they're filled with all sorts of ammo we scooped up from the pool."

"Pool?"

"You really haven't been to the shooting area?"

"Nope, not even close."

"Then let me tell you a bit about it and what happened when we're there."

Jared told me about the shooting area which was the farthest enclosure from Cuervo Heights, opposite from the area where Drag Races and Off-Road Races were held. The events held there was pretty much a test of speed and accuracy, and it was a place where only guns and ammo were the main currency.

Vouchers could still be used to get in or buy guns and ammo, but the event Jared joined required their own guns to be put on the table.

In short, it was a competition for pink slips but with guns.

With that said, Jared had an FN SCAR-H and a Sig Sauer P320, and it made several people join with fervor. It made the entire pot overflow because the people that wanted to participate had to match the value of the highest loadout, and most of them just topped the remainder with ammo.

To add insult to injury, Jose made the betting pool for the watchers even bigger because he put all of his gear into one bet. A kitted M16 and a kitted Glock 19 weren't that easy to sneeze at because of the quality of the accessories put on it, so the rest had to fork out even more.

I really thought Jared would have to drag Jose back because he'd be too out of his mind, but he was actually of sound mind despite the few kiss marks on his neck and his alcohol breath.

"Wait a sec, why the fuck did you win shotguns and pistols if it's a shooting match? Don't tell me they used that against your rifle?"

"Ah– Those were the top-ups and since some of them still wanted to compete, we even accepted vouchers and we even got this," Jared said before he tried to reach for something in his pocket, "Catch, bro!"

Jared just tossed a gold coin in my direction and I caught it with my hand.

"I FORFEIT! I FORFEIT! I FORFEIT! YOU WIN, BRO! YOU WIN!"

"What?"

"Well, you k-know, tossing someone a coin and catching it prompts a match. I just surrendered quickly so you'd have it without breaking the rules!"

"Heh, smart. You're really giving this to me?"

"Yep!"

"Thanks!"

"That's payment for my SCAR! You're welcome, bro!"

"WHAT?! HOLD ON A FUCKING SECOND!"