Classless Ascension

If anyone had ever told Josh that he'd impress a grown man by eating chips he would have laughed for sure.

Except this is what was currently happening. Well, to be fair it seemed like the kind of food used in challenges on MeTube. The kind that had streamers' faces turn completely red, retching and gasping for air while their audience laughed at their expense.

So yeah, that day Josh impressed someone so damn much while simply eating chips. All thanks to this ability of his for sure U (F) Gluttony Bloodline: Endless Stomach. So far it seemed like it allowed him to store lots of energy, giving him amazing endurance, and perhaps was even effective against poison? Even at rank F, it was already useful.

Josh's second day of training actually went pretty well, the snacks helping with the motivation too. Ah, also since he was using a VR helmet directly he didn't have to deal with the problem of sticky fingers after eating!

Eventually, he did run out of funds. At first, he thought it was going to be a big deal. Perhaps he'd actually have to cash in that 100k credits early? That would have been wasteful. Josh figured he'd be better borrowing it directly.

But, surprisingly, he could use his guild membership to borrow directly from Phantom. Josh totally could imagine how livid Dario would be because of it. Not only had Josh visited their competitor to train, but he also had to borrow from them. Talk about a loss of face!

The day before, Josh had struggled with the goblin throwers. Now, there was something even worse. There were now goblin firemen. At least that's how Josh called them. There were muscular goblins that carried vats full of water on their shoulders, so muscular that they could have had their own calendar too. ;)

They were short-ranged enemies that would send an unblockable torrent of water toward the campfire. The only solution available was to go out of one's way to target them first.

Now, came the issue. As this happened, Josh still had to deal with an increasing number of normal and rock-throwing goblins. He could easily deal with the new monsters but he now had trouble with the old ones.

That is when Josh realized that he couldn't simply react anymore. He needed to understand the spawn algorithm directly. He needed to know exactly when and how every single goblin would move.

This was clearly an insane task! After all, there were thousands of goblins! The upside was that all that was required to kill them was a light tap. Josh started the day being able to last 10 minutes on Hell mode.

It took him the whole day to be able to last an extra 6 minutes. Josh also realized something. At first, he had thought that the rankings would be extremely easy to place in but he was wrong. While it was but a single arcade game it was the global ranking for the many Metropolis.

After 48 hours total since he had started, Josh had climbed from unranked all the way to almost reaching the top 3000. That 16 minutes score was truly him giving his all too, truly holding nothing back.

The stats inside the game were fixed. This meant that there were 3000 gamers that were more skilled than him, and that was simply for this game! Josh felt the pressure, he felt how hard this would all be. But instead of recoiling, he felt his spirit burn fiercely!

He'd stay in that epilepsy-inducing arcade until he succeeded! So what if it took a few days? He still had 34 days to live! In the worse case, he'd go and live 24/7 in the Tower for a while!

Josh barely exited the game from time to time to stretch quickly. Every time he'd simply request more chips, some drinks, and would see the baffled expression of his temporary lackey. The man was apparently questioning if Josh was human.

Every time, Josh would dive right back in to slaughter some more virtual goblins. If he were to sleep, he'd dream of chips, goblins, and game over messages for sure.

On the third day, Josh had to deal with troublesome new goblin throwers. No, not goblins throwing things this time. These were catapult-looking contraptions that literally threw goblins right next to Josh's campfire.

Incidentally getting crushed by one insta-killed the player, Josh figured that out the hard way. Their hit-box was actually slightly bigger than their own body. Yes, Josh had died from having a goblin drop centimeters away from him.

At least by now Josh was getting really used to the initial goblins spawning patterns. It reached a point where he could do the first 15 minutes or so with his eyes completely closed.

It took him the whole day once more to truly beat that part of the game. As the third day ended Josh had gone from lasting 16 minutes a run to 30 minutes! That also bumped him up to the top 900 of the rankings.

On the sides, his new sidekick, apparently his name was Dan, couldn't believe his eyes. This rate of improvement was unreal! There had even been a small crowd gathering too. It wasn't really considered significant, but the current patrons were getting curious about Josh.

After all, many would go back home to rest, some would head to work, others the Tower and when they came back Josh was still there tirelessly gaming. From time to time he could hear people speculating about what he was doing there.

Some said Josh was a simple heartbroken man that had just been dumped by his double D girlfriend that had also cheated on him with a man that had a curly black mustache. They said he was now venting his sorrows on the poor goblins over and over again until he even forgot reality itself. What was with the pointless story details?!

Some argued that Josh was actually many quintuplets that all looked the same and were having a competition about who was the best gamer, hence why it looked like he was always there and never slept.

Some argued that this was a partnership add from <Volcano> and <Phantom>, that for it they had even hired a hidden ranker to push himself gaming. He'd then leave making a statement about how he loved coming to this arcade and how Volcano chips had given him the strength to continue.

Some tried convincing others that Josh was in fact an alien that had come out of Disaster Zone D-23. It was thus his first time encountering VR technology, hence why he was so hooked. At first, it had started as a joke, but then some saw him in the background of a picture of said Disaster Zone on the net.

How had Josh suddenly become a heartbroken cuckold quintuplet alien hidden ranker? He ignored it, but he simply kept training regardless. To motivate himself he kept imagining how great it would feel to plunge his blade into the rats over and over again until he got that sweet reward!

On the fourth day of training, Josh faced a new enemy. Some gigantic goblins started appearing. These new enemies were the size of ogres but had chibbi features making the whole thing look like an abomination straight out of a cartoon.

There were a few issues with these creatures. First, they looked disturbing. Second, they were hard to kill. Instead of a single hit to dispatch them, it took 5. Third, they could throw their colleagues forward. The worst was definitely when one threw a vat-carrying goblin. It quickly turned into a long-range unblockable attack.

The only saving grace was that there were not many of them. Still, it further added to the complexity of it all. To deal against them Josh had to quickly figure out which one to kill and which to simply ignore. As long as there was no special ally near them they were pretty harmless.

At the end of the day, Josh had gone from lasting 30 minutes to managing to survive until 55 minutes before dying. His position in the rankings had also leaped from the top 900 to 500. This rocket speed progress actually didn't make many waves either.

As far as all the spectators were concerned, Josh was playing on normal difficulty. Only Dan had realized that Josh was playing exclusively on Hell mode. At that point, he didn't mind being an errand boy anymore. He had the feeling of witnessing history in the making, not that the world would care about a game.

Dan felt the suspense. Would the <JustBuyingSoySauce> username ever stop its ascension? How far would it go? He couldn't wait to see the other SWAG rankers' reaction if he managed to reach the very top!

Was it perhaps the birth of a gaming legend?....