Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future

I clean up the dining room from lunch and still have about forty-five minutes until I need to start dinner. I decide to go to the stockroom and put supplies on the pantry cart for later. As I'm working, I hear someone clear their throat behind me. I look up to find Ryan standing uncomfortably close to me.

"Can I help you with something, Ryan?" I try to swallow the panic that instantly builds in my throat.

"Kas, I just wanted to say, when I'm Alpha, you won't be treated the way you are now," he takes a step closer, forcing me to back up against the cart.

"Ryan, please stop," I put my hands up and push lightly against him to get him to move, but he's stronger than me and doesn't budge. I look up at him to see an evil grin distorting his face.

"I see the way my dad treats you, Kas. You never complain. You just take it," he moves closer, breathing deeply until he's fully pressing himself against me, "I think you like when he does it. Don't you?" he whispers in my ear.

What in the actual Hell?! There is no way I heard him right. Did I?

"Ryan, I absolutely do not enjoy being beaten by your father," I say in disbelief, "and you're no better, standing there watching him instead of stopping him.”

I can feel tears stinging the corners of my eyes as he slips an arm around my waist. I cannot believe this is happening right now.

"Don't lie to me, Kas. It makes me hard to think about what I'll do to you when it's finally my turn. I can't wait until he lets me treat you like that. I want to hear you moan with pleasure when I beat you. I want you on your knees so I can whip you instead of him. I want you to be my toy, Kas, not his. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Bowing down to me with that pretty ass in the air? We'll turn the dungeon into a playroom just for us, instead of just your bedroom," He's nuzzling against my neck right below my ear making me cringe, but I don't have anywhere to be able to move to get away from him. I can feel his erection getting harder as he leans more weight against me.

"Are you insane?" I yell. I push hard against him but he's too strong. He doesn't budge, "Get off of me, you sicko!"

This whole time, he's been turned on by watching his dad torture me? What the hell is wrong with this family?

The look on his face contorts from happy evil to disgusted. Without warning, he takes a step back and kicks me in the stomach causing me to double over in pain. He elbows me in the back, dropping me to my knees. Then he bends over behind me, pressing his body against mine, and slides his arm under my shirt roughly massaging my breast while he grunts in my ear. He slides his other hand inside my leggings, rubbing his fingers against my lower area. He pulls me toward his body, pressing his erection against my butt, moving back and forth to rub himself against me, his mouth right next to my ear. He's breathing hard as he licks my face.

"I know you want me, Kas. Don't worry, you'll be mine as soon as I convince my father to let me have you. I wanted him to watch the first time I take you. I want to make him proud when I make you squeal in pain but I don't think I can wait," His voice is rough and ragged with excitement and he's grinding against me and groping me.

All I can do is sob. I'm afraid to fight back or to even say anything. Lex can't help me because he's my future Alpha.

'Moon Goddess, if you're really my mother, please help me! Please save me from this!' I cry in my mind as Ryan gropes and rubs himself against me. He pulls my leggings and underwear down, tearing them both in half with his wolf claws extended. I feel him pressing himself against my entrance. I know what was about to happen and I can't take it anymore. I turn my mind off. Just like the night his father beat me within an inch of my life. My mind cannot be present for what is happening to my body.

He finally gets off me and I fall to the floor. He tears the back of my shirt open and releases his seed on the skin of my scarred back. He kicks me in the stomach again and walks away. I lay on the floor of the supply room crying.

"Get up, Kas," Lex commands in my mind.

“I said get up," she repeats. Her voice is stern but caring, "You're better than this. We will survive this."

"I want to die, Lex. I can't do this anymore. I can't."

"You can and you will. We will find our mate soon enough and things will change. I promise."

"How can you be so sure?"

"You will see. Glowy, burny hands are not our only gift."

I get up, find an old cardigan in the back of the stockroom, and put it on. I go back to my room to find new clothes before making dinner.

The next four days go without incident. Unless you consider I have gone to the roof several times contemplating my existence. Each time, I stand with my toes at the edge and stare down from the four- story building. I can't bring myself to do anything except cry and go back to my room. I can't do it to Elexis. I can't take her life because I want to take mine.

Sunday after dinner service, I see Luna Caroline in the hallway while I'm refilling pantries. She quickly approaches me and grabs me by the arm. She extends her claws into my bicep, drawing blood.

"Kas, if you tell anyone and I mean anyone what you saw in Sam's office, I will kill you," she says in a low threatening tone.

You too, lady? I'm fed up. She wants to kill me? Okay, fine. I lift my hat and let my violet eyes look directly at her. She gasps at the unusual sight.

"Luna, it would be a relief and I would welcome death. You clearly don't know or care how I'm treated by this pack. Including your husband, your son, and apparently your lover, too," Tears choke up in my throat. I cannot take any more punishment or threats from anyone else. I'm at my wit's end. If she murders me right here in this hallway, it would be a relief.

"I'm sorry, Lex. I just can't do it anymore," I say to my wolf as I'm staring down Luna Caroline. She doesn't respond, she shuts our mind link and crawls into the corner of my mind.

Luna Caroline pushes me away, "Insolent child! You should be grateful for your life! The Alpha will hear about this."

"I'm not grateful for this life, Luna. And if you think I should be, you are part of the problem. If you want to tell the Alpha about this incident, I'm more than happy to tell him what instigated it."

She stares at me with pure anger and hatred before walking away without a word. I guess fate has other plans for me. I stand in the hall for a few minutes to see if she is coming back, but she doesn't. I'm certain she is going to sabotage me. Maybe she's going to smother me in my sleep or just stab me straight in the back. Either way, I was serious when I told her I welcome death.