Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World-Novel

Chapter 288 – Wedding Tumble: Florida Man's Feast Turns Dance Floor into Slip 'n Slide Diarrhea Fest

Later that day, Aslan visited Leo's bus. The guards in front of the bus bowed toward him and allowed him inside.

Upon entering the bus, Aslan found himself in the lobby area. He looked around and found a dozen death knights, guarding this resident from potential intruders who could teleport directly into the bus.

Aslan nodded at them in approval. He turned his attention to the deepest part of the bus where Leo's room was located. As he walked further, the corner of his eyes detected a group of female molgs. They had been looking at something in a basket.

Curious, Aslan walked toward them. When he could see the basket, he found what he had been looking for.

"There you are."

Instead of taking the kid, Aslan snickered. He turned around and left the bus.

Upon looking behind him, he found Ivy and Beatrice who were about to leave the bus as well. Their eyes met, and they greeted.

"Sir Guardian, what are you doing here?" Inquired Ivy.

"Just checking the kid. Carry on."

Ivy raised her eyebrows, suspicious of the guardian. She probed for information, "Do you know anything about the child? The Lord has entrusted him to us for some reason."

"Ah, him? I'll be taking him as my disciple. But for now, I'll have to ask you to be his nanny. Can you do it?"

"…But none of us has any experience in this."

"I see. Oh, wait. I know. I'll bring him to Sierra, then."

Ivy wryly smiled as she could imagine Sierra breastfeeding the baby. Thinking about it for a second, she almost burst into laughter.

"Please do, sir. She's fit for the task."

"Good. I'll be taking the kid."

Aslan picked up the basket and left the bus. He visited the agricultural world next.

Sierra gazed at the brown baby. She brightly smiled at the boy. Without shame, she took off her shirt and revealed a massive pair of watermalones.

.

Agricultural World

Sierra gazed at the brown baby. She brightly smiled at the boy. Without shame, she took off her shirt and revealed a massive pair of watermalones.

"Can I really ask him to milk me? Can I ask him to sucky-suck mine?"

Aslan was speechless. He silently wished for Simba and Ester's forgiveness as he was about to entrust their child to this pervert Minotaur.

"Do whatever you want. Make sure he grows up healthy… physically and morally."

"Don't worry, guardian. I shall raise him to be my finest stud. His life purpose shall be dedicated to me, my breasts, and the milking procedure! If necessary, I'll teach him how to mate with females-"

"Never mind. I'll find another nanny." Aslan changed his mind.

"NO, PLEASE! LET ME RAISE THE BOY!"

Sierra wailed and held Aslan by his legs. The latter sweated profusely even though he was a golem statue.

"…"

Aslan hesitated. He knew that he couldn't trust this pervert cow woman, but nobody was trustworthy enough to take this role.

'I can't bring Ester out either. If Ester and Esen met, Esen would probably kill her. It's already a miracle that Ester is still alive so far.'

Not trusting Esen's temperament, Aslan chose to hide Ester in his dantian universe. Moreover, sending the boy back to his mother in his dantian universe was out of the question since the place was too dangerous for a mortal infant. Only deities or strong immortals could withstand the pressure and the extreme gravity of his giant stars.

"Fine. You take care of him. But if he grows up to be a pervert like you, I'll tell the lord to dismiss you."

Sierra beamed at Aslan with her brightest smile. She pressed the baby boy's face against her chest, "You can count on my pregnancy… I mean, you can count on me!"

"…"

.

.

Two days later, Leo finally exited his room. Strangely, his skin was smoother and glossier than usual. He looked so healthy that the molgs and Ivy's subordinates were surprised.

Leo whistled in a good mood and left the bus. After he had left, Ivy sneaked into Leo's room to check on her master. This chapter is updated by novelenglish.net . fire(.)nᴇt

On the bed, Esen was out of commission. She lay on her stomach. The traces of two days' worth of bed combat stained the bed sheets, blanket, carpet, and Esen's body. Despite the carnage, Esen's expression was strangely lewd as if she had been through a wild night.

Ivy giggled. She was happy for her master.

"Congratulations, Your Majesty. If he was this energetic, that stupid cow can't possibly take him away from you."

.

.

Leo adjusted his pants. His body was strangely lighter than usual.

When Leo exited his bus, he found Dongfang Mei and a few of her workers waiting to receive him. They reported the completion of their job.

"My lord. We have finalized your wedding ceremony schedule. The invitation letters have been distributed. You and Lady Esen will attend the official ceremony tomorrow at noon."

"Oh, I guess I've come out at a good time." Leo was relieved.

"Yes. I was planning to request Lady Ivy to inform you about your wedding."

"Good. What do I need to know or prepare, by the way?"

Dongfang Mei deeply sighed, "Please follow us to the hotel. We need to measure you and tailor your clothes. Also, we have to finish tailoring the bridge's dress as well. Can we visit Lady Esen?"

"Err…"

Leo thought of Esen's condition. He scratched his head, "You can ask Ivy for that. She will measure my wife's three sizes for you. I don't think she's in a good condition to meet anybody at the moment."

Dongfang Mei was perplexed for a moment before she figured it out. The elder covered her mouth and giggled, "Please save your stamina for the wedding night, my lord. I know that you love her, but please don't overly LOVE her before the ceremony."

"…I'll try."

"Please follow me."

Dongfang Mei and her subordinates silently laughed while they guided Leo to their tailors.

The preparation for the wedding ceremony took all day. Leo got stuck in the hotel as Dongfang Mei and Xu Nuan rehearsed the event before the important day.

.

.

Wedding Day, 5 AM.

Although the event seemed abrupt, everybody had been preparing for this day for months. Merchants, cultivators, and Leo's employees brought their gifts and treasures to the hotel, hoping to gain Leo's favor.

However, no one could enter the hotel yet. In front of the hotel, Dongfang Mei and Meowmeow's elf concubines blocked the entrance. Instead of letting everybody in, they inspected the visitors' name tags one by one.

Everybody was forced to register their name and hand over their presents. Then, the staff gave them a wooden plaque, which indicated their seat number.

A merchant wrote his name on the paper as instructed. Although reluctant, he presented a wooden box to the female employees behind the reception counter.

"In this box, I've stored a precious 300-year-old spirit ginseng. Please inform Lord Florida Man that the Ginseng Pharmacy's director Wang Ao sends his regards."

One of the staff politely accepted the box, yet she mercilessly opened it to inspect the content. Then, she showed it to a stone elf next to her.

The golem gazed at it. Then, she gave it a score.

"Two points."

The receptionist nodded. She handed a wooden plague with a string of numbers.

"Table 10288, seat 5."

The merchant was confused but he received the plague nonetheless. Then, he followed another staff to his designated seat.

When he entered a meeting hall, he discovered an endless field full of round tables, covered in white sheets. On the tables, empty plates and wine grasses were already prepared.

They were modern round tables, commonly found in modern Chinese restaurants. However, there was one issue – The table was not in the same room as the wedding event!

"Hah?! Why here? What about the wedding?!"

An employee sighed and pointed at a large TV monitor on the wall. She whispered, "You can view the event here, sir. The TVs will show the ceremony in the main hall."

Wang Ao was confused. As he had never seen a TV before, he stood up and pointed at the black screens.

"What do you mean by TEE-VEES?! Why can't I take part in the main hall?!"

The employee's smile never faded from her face. She calmly responded in a friendly voice tone, "Sir, this is a wedding ceremony between top experts. Do you expect to join the same table as immortals and gods from other worlds?"

Wang Ao was taken aback, "B-But my gift is very precious! A-At least, he should give me face and..."

The employee gave the merchant an ultimatum by pulling out a treasure. The item was one of many treasures that Leo and his men got from the dead invaders. Although Leo never ordered anybody to sell them, the manager mannequin put them in the supermarket once in a while to boost the sales. In addition, there was a mysterious event 'BLACK FRIDAY' when Leo went on an expedition. At that time, many items were on discount, and several good artifacts were on sale.

The staff managed to snag this spiritual steel fan, which was capable of blocking any attack from a quasi-immortal! Moreover, she could pay with installments of 12 months, which cost only 50 essence stones or 50 years of lifespan per month.

Seeing the treasure, Wang Ao was speechless. He stuttered, "Umm, f-fairy miss. W-What is that?"

"Of course, it's a mortal-grade treasure."

"Then, w-why do you bring it out? Are you threatening me? I-I'm only a mortal without a cultivation base! P-Please don't bully me!"

"Who said I'm bullying you? I'm only showing you what a proper gift looks like. Unless you can procure something of this standard at the minimum, you can't possibly hope to get preferential treatment! Please understand your position, dear guest."

"O-Okay."

Wang Ao sulked and sat at his table. He regretted spending months and a lot of gold coins to get that ginseng.

Fortunately, the hotel employees were not that heartless. Even though the ceremony hadn't started yet, a waitress brought over a plate of food and a bottle of wine. She served it to Wang Ao.

"The wedding starts at noon. It might be boring to sit here without anything to do. Please enjoy this while you're waiting, sir."

"…Okay."

Wang Ao sighed and looked at the parting employee. He smacked his lips as everybody was all cultivators, and a commoner like him couldn't possibly talk back to them.

As he had nothing to do, he gazed at the plate of food and a bottle of wine on the table. On the plate was a sunny-side egg, five stripes of bacon, a spoonful of boiled potatoes, garlic bread, and some salad.

Wang Ao snorted as he recognized some of the food, except for the garlic bread, salad, and bacon. As he didn't think much, he picked up a pair of chopsticks and started eating.

Upon putting a piece of bacon in his mouth, he widened his eyes in astonishment. The warmth of the food and Qi enveloped his mouth and stimulated his taste buds.

Wang Ao froze on the table as the Qi from the food entered his veins and muscle fibers. He started breaking a sweat.

While Wang Ao was sweating profusely, the previous waitress returned with a clean towel and a bathrobe. She then whispered, "After you eat your food, you can take a shower in the bathroom at the end of the hall over there, sir. Actually, you can take a shower every time you eat a mouthful of your food. The impurity in your body might come out of your pores. As you know, impurity of mortals smells… unpleasant."

Wang Ao widened his eyes and looked at the bath towel. He then glanced at the food on the plate.

Without saying anything, Wang Ao grabbed the plate and the towel. He then ran toward the bathroom while gas inside his belly threatened to release everything through the number 2 hole.

The waitress giggled. She brought the wine bottle to the bathroom and placed it in front of the stall, where Wang Ao disappeared into.

One customer down, many more to go.